Waxing Gibbous
by Lady Shadow
Summary: Edward and Jacob are both left at loose ends in the aftermath of Bella's transformation. EdwardJacob.
1. Introduction and Author's notes

_Title:_ Waxing Gibbous

**Author**: Lady Shadow

_Fandom:_ Twilight

_Pairing(s)_: EdwardJacob (EdwardBella)

_**Disclaimer:**_ The following is a work of _fanfiction_. It is based on the ideas, settings, situations and characters of the Twilight Saga. The author of this work of fanfiction neither owns nor claims to own the aforementioned ideas, settings, situations and characters. They are the sole property of the creators and owners of the Twilight Saga and all other legal associates, including, but not limited to: Stephanie Meyer, and Warner Brothers, Inc.. This fanfiction is written for entertainment purposes only and no profit is made from the writing or publication of this piece. No infringement of any rights, copyright or otherwise, is intended.

_Summary_ : _Not again_, she thought, ludicrously wanting to scream, _I changed my mind!_

**Warning(s)** : None for the moment.

_Genre(s)_ : Drama/Romance

_Author's Notes_ : This is written without regard to _Breaking Dawn_, but roughly follows cannon through the first three books.

_Beta_ : Starry


	2. Fields of Gold

PROLOGUE:: Fields of Gold

She was warm. Bella spread her arms and spun in a circle that made the world tilt. She laughed as vertigo claimed her and pulled her down to the ground. All around her the sun made the world glow and she was happy, even with the way her stomach churned.

Her name drifted to her on the wind, soft and sweet. _Isabella_... the southwesterly wind sang. It was wrong, somehow, but she climbed to her feet, steady and sure, all traces of dizziness and clumsiness gone.

Standing just on the horizon, he extended his hand to her. She felt her lips stretch into a smile and ran, grabbing her long emerald dress in both hands and hiking it up. Her slippers were going to be ruined, but that was okay. She had many more back at the castle and he was waiting for her.

She could see his lips moving, but whatever he was saying was caught in the wind and turned to strange music.

"What did you say?" she asked, coming to a breathless stop before him. Her austere husband shone like something divine in the sunlight and she felt love swelling her chest, but something was subtly wrong....

He reached out and put two delicate fingers under her chin and smiled a slow smile that was at once beautiful and terrifying. "Vi ricorderete di me presto," he said in his rich voice.

She frowned and reached out to him. His scarlet eyes met hers and a crack of thunder heralded an abrupt downpour. She backed away from him, suddenly terrified and cold.

_You will remember me soon_.

She ran.

In the distance, tires shrieked as the plane touched the runway and Bella jolted awake. Next to her, Edward was smiling calmly, his topaz eyes made brilliant by the plane's interior lights. She smiled tremulously, the dream already fading.


	3. Death of Forever

ONE: Death of Forever

Coming home was the most amazing feeling. The last time Bella had left Forks for an extended period of time, she had been far too out of it to feel any real sense of homecoming when she returned, but after two weeks in the sticky rainforest of the Amazon, the crisp Washington air was like a balm to her soul. Her honeymoon had been great – the Amazon was amazing and the people there were kind and curious. And there were miles and miles of untouched forest where they could be alone. Well, alone except for the great _great_ many insects. Big insects. That liked to bite.

"Bella!"

Her father, not normally an exuberant man, pulled her into a hard hug and held her like that for several seconds. The slight tremor in his smile betrayed how worried he'd been. She couldn't tell exactly what he had been worried about more: that something would happen to her in the Amazon – which would have been a fair concern, considering her tract record for getting injured- or that Edward would never bring her back.

When he finally released her, she showed off her hands and turned a circle. "Only fell a couple of times and didn't even break the skin," she told him proudly.

"Imagine that!" He really was surprised. Charlie had probably expected her to come back with a few casts. She didn't blame him – she had expected to come back with a few casts herself.

Charlie looked up and greeted Edward somewhat belatedly. He had been trying his best since Bella told him of the impending wedding to be nicer to his daughter's boyfriend... his would-be son-in-law. But he had held onto the hope that Bella would change her mind and go back to Jacob Black until the moment he had walked her down the isle.

Unfailingly polite, Edward inclined his head and smiled that disarming, gentle smile that Charlie was never able to hate until he was out of Edward's presence.

"Did you two have fun?" He had thought the Amazon was a strange place to take a honeymoon, but Bella had insisted that it had been her idea and that she wanted to go. When listing off the many attractive options of the rainforest, she didn't mention that less than three percent of the sunlight passed the canopy to hit the forest floor.

She also didn't mention that Edward had an affinity for large cats.

"Yeah, dad, it was great!"

Edward slipped his hand into hers and smiled at Charlie, subtly reminding him that Bella was not his anymore. Stubborn to the last breath, Charlie wrapped his arm firmly around his daughter's shoulders and dragged her away from the baggage claim towards the doors. Her hand slipped out of Edward's and she reached up to grab her father to steady herself.

"Your hand is like ice, Bella!"

"Oh... I think the air conditioning in the plane was...broken, or something. It was on the whole time. Really cold."

"You get your poor circulation from your mom... she was always cold."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Edward looked amused.

XX~XX

She sat in the front seat of the cruiser, Charlie still getting inappropriate amounts of pleasure out of seeing Edward in the backseat through the layer of glass. Neither Charlie or Bella had ever been much for conversation, but Charlie was making a concerted effort to be talkative. Knowing that she was going to be leaving him soon, Bella tried to keep up her end of the conversation. She told him about the river trip they had taken down the Amazon, about the hotels they had stayed in and the native people they had met. She didn't mention that Edward spoke all of the languages involved and let Charlie think an interpreter had come along with them.

Alice was waiting for them at the house. As promised, she had been keeping an eye on Charlie. Just after Bella and Edward left, she had pouted that the rest of her family was going camping again and she didn't feel like it. An open invitation had been immediately offered and Alice had cheerfully accepted.

As soon as they were through the door, Alice rose and skipped neatly across the living room. She pecked Bella on the cheek and hugged her brother enthusiastically.

"Alice has been keeping me company." Charlie's chest puffed out a little bit and Bella wanted to laugh.

"But I'm not a very good cook," Alice said mournfully.

Now Bella did laugh and Alice pouted at her playfully, though they both knew why Alice was a poor cook.

They stayed at the house for about an hour, but the long plane ride coupled with the system shock of the climate change was finally taking a toll on Bella. She stifled another yawn and Edward pretended one of his own, stretching largely.

"Why don't you two stay here tonight? You both look tired. I could make up the couch."

Bella was almost tired enough to mumble that they were used to laying in her small bed, but she caught herself just in time. Alice made a quick but gentle excuse and smiled at Charlie prettily. Like usual, the police chief melted under Alice's pretty topaz eyes and hugged his daughter, kissing her forehead.

"Miss you, Bells."

Bella mumbled something that was supposed to be reassuring. Charlie laughed and reluctantly passed her into Edward's waiting arms. With a little laugh of his own, Edward easily swung her up and carried her out to Alice's car. She had wisely left the canary yellow Porsche at home and Bella spread out comfortably in the backseat while Edward loaded their bags into the trunk and Alice got the heater going.

XX~XX

When Bella woke again, the sun was turning the curtains a molten gold around the edges. She smiled, crawling to the head of the bed to pull the curtains open. She winced back from the bright glow of the rarely-seen sunlight and guessed it was getting pretty close to noon.

Pushing the curtains back to the rest of the way, she fell back onto the bed and let the sun warm her exposed skin. What a perfect way to wake up on the last day she would be human.

A little trill of fear and anticipation ran up her spine, making her shiver a little. They had timed their wedding and honeymoon so that they would have to leave for Alaska right away. In reality, they would be staying in Forks for a few more weeks, so the whole family could be present to keep an eye on Bella and help her through the change. After that, they would decide where the safest place for them would be. Edward was hoping against penguins, so he was still voting for Alaska – just a far more remote portion of the frozen land than Juneau.

He had tried, without success, to convince her to wait a semester or ten. But she knew what she wanted. Something inside of her called out to the change with the same intensity that her body called for Edward's.

And there was another sore point. As promised, they had tried to have sex on their wedding night, and several times after that. Bella had been so excited, so eager to lose her virginity to the man she loved that she hadn't considered a few basic physical facts. Namely, that Edward was _cold_. And cold didn't do much for arousal. Beyond that, he was hard. And not in the normal, expected way. There was very little give in his skin. Each time had felt like she was being penetrated by an icicle sheathed in silk, and after three attempts she had been forced to grudgingly admit that they would have to wait.

But not much longer.

She smiled and grabbed a pillow, cuddling it to her chest while the sun warmed her side and back.

"You're like a cat, sometimes."

Bella looked up to his smiling face, her heart stuttering and skipping beats the way it always did when she looked at him. He chuckled softly, smiling her favorite crooked smile as he glided across the room and folded onto the bed.

"I am going to miss that."

"Miss what?"

"The way your heart flutters."

She blushed, heat rising swiftly to her cheeks.

"And that," Edward continued, brushing his fingertips down the side of her face.

"Well, I'm not going to miss being human," Bella told him stubbornly, catching his fingertips to kiss them gently. His cool skin felt pleasant on her lips.

"You don't know that yet. It's not too late to change your mind."

"Yes, it is."

Edward sighed, but she had fulfilled her end of their agreement and she knew he wouldn't back away from his end.

"You were going to spend the day with Charlie," he reminded her finally. "And it's already half gone!"

She wanted to stay in bed a little longer, but as far as Charlie knew, they were leaving for Alaska in the morning. And she did want to say goodbye to him. She would miss her parents, and knew that they would miss her. It was only fair that she spend her last day as a human with her human father.

Alice caught them at the bottom of the stairs with a strange look on her face. It was a far-away look that Bella was becoming to know well.

"What did you see?" she asked quickly, heart speeding up.

"The Volturi are coming."

"When will they be here?" Edward asked for her benefit; he could just as easily pluck the thought right from Alice's mind. Alice smiled at him disarmingly and he relaxed immediately. Her head was filled with thoughts of Jasper, so what she saw couldn't have been that disturbing.

"In four days."

"So, I'll already be..."

Alice smiled and danced up to her, kissing her cheek reassuringly. "Yes."

Bella nodded tremulously and wrapped her arms around Edward's waist, pressing against his back.

"Don't worry so much," Edward admonished. He twisted easily, scooping her into his arms. He had carried her a lot since their wedding, obviously thrilled that he had a wife. That _Bella_ was his wife. He walked her down to her truck and rolled his eyes a little when she pulled the door open. She smiled impishly and stuck her tongue out – she may have agreed to letting him get her a shiny new car, but she had never said she would _drive_ it. He sighed and kissed her fondly, watching her truck until it was out of sight, and then listening to it until it was miles away.

How comfortable she was with what would be happening that night... frightened him. Bella was a strange human; she had always been comfortable with things that should have terrified her. Her lack of regard for her personal safety never failed to irritate and horrify him. But this was something that every human atom in her body should be rebelling against. Instinctively, she should be more than a little nervous about it.

It worried him. A lot. But he didn't know what to do about it, didn't know how to make her understand what it was that she wanted so badly. She felt, having lived through it once that she was prepared. She had no idea.

And he was just selfish enough to give it to her. But not so selfish as to not mourn the loss.

XX~XX

"Did you enjoy the day with you father?"

Bella gave him a small smile. He could tell she had been crying and didn't have to read her mind to know that she didn't want him to notice. So he gave her an innocent smile and pretended he didn't.

"Yeah, it was great. I'm going to really miss him."

"You don't have to miss him. You don't have to go."

"I _do_, Edward. Stop trying to convince me!"

Edward sighed and she continued to glare at him.

"I just want to be with you! Why is that so hard for you to grasp?" The fury in her voice was evident and it made the vampire wince. Her desperation would forever be a mystery to him, but he didn't know how he could explain to her that he wanted her too, and just as badly.

"I just want you to be sure, Bella. I don't want you to regret it." The thought of her waking up and realizing what she was and hating him for it...was too much. He tried not to think about it, tried to convince himself that she wanted this, that everything would be okay _because_ she wanted it.

Bella twisted her hands a little nervously, bitting her lower lip.

"When...?"

Edward cleared his throat a little. Not because he needed to, but because he had found normal human reactions like this to be a comfort, not just to the humans, but to him as well. Like breathing. "As soon as the sun goes down. Alice and Jasper left a few minutes ago."

Bella almost asked if Jasper's talent might be put to better use at the house, while she was going insane with pain and bloodlust. But she knew Jasper would be going just as insane if he smelled her blood. She nodded instead, and offered Edward a smile.

"Come watch the sun set with me," she suggested finally, looking up at him for the first time since returning from Charlie's. Her heart sped up the way it always did, and he smiled, the way he always did, reaching forward to brush her hair back.

A momentary doubt flitted through her mind. Would he still want her when her heart didn't stutter at his every look? Would he be as attracted to her when her face couldn't flush anymore in embarrassment or pleasure? She had to believe he would. Or it would be a very very long eternity.

They sat on the roof while the sun slid towards the horizon, Edward compliantly opening his shirt and laying in the last of the sunlight. Bella marveled again at the way he glistened, and he watched her carefully, memorizing the way she _didn't_.

"This is the last time I'm going to be able to do this," Bella murmured, turning finally to watch the sun.

"That's not true. We can do this every night if you want."

Bella smiled. "This is the last time I'll be able to do this without shinning," she amended.

It was on Edward's lips to tell her that it didn't have to be. She sensed it and turned to glare at him before he had done more than open his mouth. He sighed and closed it again, shaking his head a little.

They stayed on the roof until the trees had faded into the encroaching darkness and were no longer visible against the backdrop of night. At least not to Bella.

"I'm ready," Bella whispered finally.

Edward said nothing as he gathered her into his arms and slid off the roof, landing neatly and silently on the porch and carrying her into the house.

The basement was sound and lightproof. When Bella had been told that was where she would be changed, she had cringed a little, imaging damp stones and the musty smell all basements seemed to have in common. Edward had laughingly suggested she go look at it, but she had refused with a nervous laugh.

The room she was lead into was nothing like she was expecting. The walls were panels of honey-colored wood, the floor was richly carpeted and a dozen inset lights gave the room a warm appearance. The furniture had been pushed against the wall, so Bella wasn't exactly sure what the room would have looked like had she seen it weeks ago. In the center of the rectangular room was a large bed – possibly even the bed that had been put in Edward's room months ago. The blankets were missing though, only the crisp white sheets covering the mattress. Candles adorned every surface and the room felt pleasantly warm.

"None of us ever had this option," Edward explained when Bella looked pointedly at the red candles and bowls of rose petals. "Alice wanted to make it as comfortable for you as she could."

Bella swallowed hard and nodded. "That was... considerate."

She was pulling nervously at her sleeve, not sure where to stand or what to do now that she was _here_.

"How are you feeling, Bella?"

She jumped and spun, glaring at Carlisle accusingly. "I'm never going to get used to how quiet you are..." Her voice trailed off. She _would_ get used to it, she realized. She would be able to hear him after tonight.

He smiled compassionately and didn't mention what she had just been thinking. Instead he set his bag down on a side table and opened it, pulling out various things.

"We're hoping that a strong dose of morphine might make the change easier for you," he explained in his calm doctor's voice. He was speaking to her the same way he would speak to a scared child going in to get her tonsils removed. Bella tried to be graceful and strong and make her voice even so they would realize how ready she was.

"But I want to feel it." Her voice was not quite as even and steady as she had hoped. Edward gave her an incredulous look and Carlisle smiled softly.

"You've already felt it once, Bella. It would be no different."

"But... no, it's part of the process. The pain is... is what I'm buying my immortality with." It sounded a lot more idiotic once it was outside her head. She blushed a deep red, and then shook her head in irritation. "It's something you've all gone through."

"And you have as well, once. Once is enough, Bella. There is no need for you to torture yourself."

Bella pursed her lips into an angry line and crossed her arms stubbornly. Edward finally sighed and stepped in between her and Carlisle, forcing her to look up at him.

"Bella, please..." He took her face between his hands and leaned down to kiss her gently. Her lips were soft and yielding against his the way they never would be again.

"Edward..."

"This is going to be hard enough for me, Bella," he whispered, a little guilty. He hadn't wanted to tell her how hard it was going to be on him, but he couldn't stand the thought of her in so much pain. "I don't want to have to spend three days listening to you scream. Please, Bella."

She capitulated finally, dropping her eyes away from his and swallowing hard. She nodded and stepped around him, concentrating on where her feet were. It would be just like her to destroy the moment by tripping. Even walking down the isle, she had caught her foot on the hem of her dress and stayed up only because Charlie was prepared for it and righted her before she could make a fool of herself on her wedding day.

Having made it to the bed without tripping over her own feet, she sat down slowly and toed her shoes off. She had thought about this moment a lot – had thought of little else since the date was finally set. The room was much as she had romanticized it. Flower petals, white sheets, candles. But she had also seen herself in a white dress. Maybe even her wedding dress. She blushed faintly, remembering Alice's casual suggestion that she wear her sweats, and Edward's mocking voice from junior prom. _You thought it would be a black-tie event?_

She cleared her throat and looked up at the two vampires, trying to look confident and failing.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, Bella?"

"Yes, damnit Edward!"

Carlisle picked up his syringe, filling it up with the clear liquid and tapping on it. He pushed the stopper until a tiny stream of morphine shot out of the top and then approached the bed.

"That looks like a lot..." Bella whispered.

"It is. More than enough to kill a human."

Bella swallowed hard. "Oh."

Carlisle set a pale hand on her leg. His skin almost glowed in contrast to the deep blue of her sweat pants.

"Give him a little slack, Bella." He smiled disarmingly. "He's nervous too."

She hadn't really thought about that. She took a tremulous breath and smiled back, lips quivering with the effort. "Sorry."

Edward returned her smile, managing to look as confident and serene as she had wanted to.

"Lay back, Bella."

Carlisle stood and Bella slowly pushed herself away from the edge and lowered herself to the pillows; she tried to breathe very slowly, nervousness making her heart pound loudly. She could feel blood pulsing through her ears and face, but her fingertips and toes felt almost painfully cold.

Edward approached the bed from the other side, trying to look comforting.

"Just do it," she whispered, barely able to gather enough breath to make the words audible. Edward slowly picked up her hand and stroked his fingers over her wrist. She felt Carlisle's cold hand on her other arm and darted her eyes over to him briefly. He still had that almost irritatingly serene look on his face and she turned back to Edward. Her stomach was beginning to churn and her chest was hurting from the palpitations. Wouldn't that just be great? On the verge of becoming immortal and she has a heart attack.

She felt the needle set to her arm and panic washed over her like a tidal wave. "Wait!" The needle withdrew immediately and she surged up, body contacting painfully with Edward's. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her hands buried in his hair and she pulled him insistently forwards, kissing him hard, tongue breaking his careful rules about their physical intimacy. What did it matter tonight if he couldn't control his urge to bite her? That was the point, right?

She pulled away and he was looking at her with wide topaz eyes. He had gone hunting while she was at Charlie's and his eyes were bright gold from the blood.

"Whatever I become, I want you to know that I love you, Edward," she said in a rush.

His lips twitched upwards. "You wont become anything other than what you are now, Bella. You'll just be...stronger."

She nodded; he'd been telling her that for weeks, but she had this horrible feeling churning in her gut that she _would_ be different. A lot different. She kissed him again, softer, and for some reason she couldn't define, felt like she was saying goodbye.

Bella released him and fell back to the bed, closing her eyes tightly and thrusting her hand at him. His cold fingers curled gently around her wrist and the needle returned to its place on the inside of her elbow.

She felt Edward's teeth a split second before the needle pierced her skin, a small sharp coldness in contrast to the sudden fire that was burning through her arm.

She could vaguely hear Carlisle's voice, vaguely feel Edward withdrawing. Waves of numbness were washing over her body. She couldn't feel her feet, her right hand. Almost as though fighting the numbness, the fire that was Edward's venom was racing just as quickly to her heart.

_Not again_, she thought, ludicrously wanting to scream, _I changed my mind!_

But the venom had reached her heart and she did scream, though nothing quite so coherent.

XX~XX

Alice and Jasper walked through the door moments before the distinctive noise of a car approaching had them all alert.

"It is Caius," she announced, turning to look at the door. Her eyebrows furrowed. "And a human."

Edward cursed softly under his breath and the family arranged themselves in a casual semi-circle around the living room that protected the door to the basement, where Bella still thrashed in throes of her change.

There was a polite knock at the door and Carlisle gave his family a pointed look before crossing the room and opening the door.

"Carlisle!" Caius, generally quiet and withdrawn, smiled brightly at the sight of his old friend

"Caius, what a pleasant surprise."

Caius' eyes glinted with amusement. "I'm sure you're very surprised." His eyes flickered over to Alice. She smiled innocently, rising to greet him. He exchanged a few moments of pleasantries with Alice and Esme, seeming unperturbed that Edward glared murder at him the entire time and the other two men didn't rise from their seats. Rosalie gave him a bored glance and continued her appraisal of the latest in French fashion.

"Well, Carlisle, old friend, I'm sure you are aware as to the cause of my visit."

"You could have just called, my friend, and saved yourself the trip."

"Well... I enjoy getting out of the city... every now and a great while..."

Every now and great while was a fair exaggeration. None of the Volturi brothers left the comfort and safety of their city unless it was absolutely necessary. That he had deemed Bella's transformation important enough to warrant a trip away from his beloved city worried Carlisle immensely. Edward knew his worry immediately and became at once more guarded.

"Is that her I hear whimpering?" Caius' eyes glinted as they drifted over the gathered family to the basement door. "She is just about out of it, hm?"

"Should be, soon," Carlisle agreed.

"As you can see," Edward interrupted, his tone barely managing to stay north of impolite. "We've held up our end of the agreement."

"Indeed you have, and wonderfully timed. I was worried that I would have to do it myself." He smiled disarmingly. "Of course, having come all this way, I would like to see her, changed..."

"Of course," Carlisle agreed with a tight smile.

"Perhaps the human should not be here... considering that we will have a newborn waking soon," Alice suggested, brows furrowed slightly. Edward picked up the image of Bella's mouth on the human's throat and barely stifled a growl.

Said human did not seem upset by the announcement. He was tall and lithe with carefully careless waves of black hair and startling blue eyes. His comfort among the vampires spoke to his long association with them. He merely smiled when Caius set a possessive hand on the small of his back.

"William is very precious to me and attends me everywhere," Caius explained.

"All the more reason that he should be away, don't you think?" Esme prompted gently. She smiled reassuringly at the human, but he did not seem to need the reassurance.

Caius gave her a smile for her effort and flicked his fingers slightly. "Go wait in the car for a while, William."

"And drive far away," Edward suggested tightly.

"The backseat will be far enough," Caius said dismissively. William inclined his head and backed out of the house, closing the door behind him. His footsteps were like staccato beats in the silence he left in his wake.

Carlisle was just gathering his manners to offer the older vampire a seat when there was a sudden heavy thump from the basement. Edward jumped to his feet and turned towards the door, watching anxiously, body tensed as he waited for further noises. A pained noise floated up to the living room and then the sounds of Bella hauling herself up the stairs drifted into the room.

Caius watched the door with unveiled curiosity, bright red eyes glistening in anticipation. While the rest of his family waited for Bella's emergence, Carlisle watched his friend suspiciously. He had known Caius for a long time, and the man was hardly ever so animated.

The door flung open, hitting the wall hard, where it stuck, the knob embedded in the drywall. Bella collapsed to her hands and knees on the threshold, gasping. Her body shook and she looked sick, confused... horrified.

Edward swallowed hard, fear settling heavy in his gut. He took a cautious step forward, and then another, reaching out to her. Suddenly, she slammed her fists hard into the tiles, cracking them and sending bits of tile and grout flying across the room.

"I hate you so much!!" she shrieked. "How could you do this to me?!"

Edward froze, his eyes drifting slowly closed. He had known this was a possibility, but hearing those words in her voice was like a knife to his chest. He bowed his head, hands clenched at his sides, aware of the shocked thoughts of his family bombarding him from all sides, but unable to react.

Caius drifted across the room to stand in front of her heaving form. Too shocked to react, Emmett let him pass, only belatedly reaching out as though to stop him. Bella looked up at him with obsidian-black eyes, her face set in a cold glare. She dragged herself up to her feet, cocked her arm back and backhanded Caius as hard as her shuddering body could manage. To her credit, the ancient vampire's head snapped to the side, the blow resounding like a crack of thunder.

"Welcome back, Isabella."

"I hate you," she seethed.

Caius smiled at her and she suddenly moaned, clutching the wall for support. When it proved inadequate, Caius caught her and she thrashed weakly in his arms.

"The memories!" she gasped, eyes alternately shutting tight and flying wide open. She dissolved into dry sobs. "Why do you do this to me?!"

"There is more for you to remember, my dear. _I_ have done nothing to you."

Bella whined, covering her face with both hands. "It was so beautiful, Caius... I was in the sunlight. Warmth! Oh, the warmth! Family, I had family. Renee... Charlie...How could you take that from me, how could you?!"

"It was not I, dear Isabella," Caius told her. His eyes lifted to look at Edward, noting the tortured slant of the boy's shoulders, the way he tensed with each world, the way his brows pulled together in confusion. There was a lot of confusion in the room.

"Edward!" Bella reared out of Caius' arms, her eyes wide in her pale face. Slowly, Edward raised his head, dull eyes opening slowly. "Oh, I am a fool! Dear Edward. Carlisle's boy!" She shook her head as though in denial. "Carlisle, my friend, can you ever forgive me?"

Edward turned to look at the man he called father, and sometimes brother, and once – briefly- lover. The first stirrings of understanding were drifting through the vampire's head, the first vague suspicions.

"I almost had it this time, Caius!"

"The very fact that you took such pains to hide from us made you more visible," Caius chided. "And look, you've come back to me. Again. Why can you not accepted that you will be forever drawn to me? That I am the second half of your soul? Have I ever come to take you myself? No! You eternally come to _me_. And now here we are again."

"Isabella!" Carlisle's voice split through the confusion like a knife. He said her name with a markedly Italian inflection, the beginning highly accented.

Her eyes turned to meet Carlisle's shocked gaze, Edward turning as well to the sharp sound in Carlisle's voice. Images were flashing through his head far too fast for Edward to pick up, and trying was giving him a headache.

"I am so sorry, Carlisle. So sorry."

"I don't understand how..." Carlisle admitted and Isabella's face crumpled in miserable defeat. Finally, she turned and gave Rosalie a little smile.

"You and I are not so different," she told the confused blonde. "I too, wanted to be human again. I only wanted to grow old and die a natural death... I have wanted it dozens of times, but each time I am somehow drawn back to this..."

She gestured to her body. She had changed in subtle ways; her once pale skin was nearly translucent, her cheekbones made more prominent by the tightening of her skin, her lips made more red by her paleness.

Isabella hesitated. "I too, am gifted... I am able... to leave my body. Detach my soul from its physical anchor." She turned a sad smile on Edward. "All while I was your Bella, I was trying to tell you something I knew but didn't understand exactly, then. We do still have souls, Edward. And yours is beautiful." She winced away from his stony, still confused look. "I took this body when it was very young. The unlucky Isabella Swan died only two days after birth."

"And you...stole her body?" Edward asked tightly, fists clenching hard.

"It was hardly stealing. She was already gone. I gave her body a new chance at life... I gave her parents hope and happiness. All I wanted was to live out my life as a normal human, find love and die an old woman. Even die in some accident or of some disease." She sighed. "I didn't count on you, Edward. I'm sorry. Somehow, through a dozen lifetimes of not remembering... each time, I end up here."

"You used me."

"No! No, dear Edward. You must differentiate between me, Isabella, and your Bella. We are different people. She loved you very fiercely. You are a hard man not to love," she said with a soft smile. Edward remained staunchly silent. "Do you still feel for me what you felt for Bella?"

Edward looked up at her, looked up at the body that he had known so intimately, to the face he had loved so much, only to realize that this body and this face were completely different. The great warm feeling that had welled so compellingly in his chest every time he saw her was absent.

"No," he said softly, voice small.

"I am sorry, dear Edward. I am sorry, all of you. You cannot begin to realize how sorry."

She sighed at the lack of response and finally turned to look at Caius. "Take me home," she whispered.

"What?!" Edward's brows were drawn together and his mind seemed to be moving through a thick fog. "What about... Charlie?! Renee?"

"Oh...yes... you're right...Caius, do you carry a phone yet?"

Caius obligingly withdrew a small silver phone and handed it over. Leaning heavily against him, Isabella dialed her father's number. He answered after four rings, and she realized it must be quite late.

"Hello?"

"Dad?"

"Bella!? What's wrong?" His voice was alert immediately and she mourned the concern she heard there. She would miss that: people being concerned for her.

"Dad...I... I made a mistake dad. I... I can't do this!"

"Bella, what is the matter? Where are you?!"

"Marrying Edward, dad... I feel like I'm drowning, I can't do it!"

"Did he hurt you?! What happened? Tell me right now!"

"No! No, dad, he didn't... Edward is... great. The best thing... I just, I can't be married, dad! How could I?" Her voice was hitching as though she were sobbing though her eyes remained dry. Each word hit Edward in the chest like blows from a wrecking ball, but he clenched his jaw and withstood each one silently, trying to tune out the concerned, outraged, confused mental voices of his family.

"Bella, calm down. Tell me what happened."

"I...I met someone else, dad."

"...what?"

"I'm leaving with him. Right now. Tonight. I can't stay here... with Edward. Anymore. I was stupid and so small-town!"

"Bella, slow down! What are you saying?"

"I'm _leaving, _dad!"

"How could you do this to Edward, Bella?! You love him so much!"

"I'll call you later, Charlie."  
"Bella-!"

But she had hung up the phone. The silence and stillness was so complete that an observer might assume he had stumbled upon a collection of graveyard angels.

"I'm sorry, Edward. Please do not think my words were meant in any heat..." She tried to smile at him, but he wouldn't meet her eyes. "If I had just disappeared, he would have thought you'd...killed me, or something..." Her voice drifted off and she finally handed the phone back to Caius. He took it silently and slid it back into his pocket.

Edward's phone gave off a shrill noise, breaking the silence. Realizing it must be Charlie, Edward slowly took it out and flipped it open, putting it to his ear.

"Hello," he greeted dully.

"Edward, what is going on?! Bella just called me... is everything... okay?"

For many long seconds, Edward was painfully silent. Charlie repeated his name several times. "She's leaving me," he managed finally. It was nothing less than the truth.

"What?! What the hell is going on? Did you two get into a fight?"

"Yes... of a sort. She's... leaving with someone else."

"Edward..." For the first time, Edward sensed some... compassion in Charlie's voice, something like concern, maybe paternal love. It made him want to hit something.

"I'll call you," Edward promised dully. "Later."

"Alright, Edward..."

He wasn't sure if the man was planning on saying something else or not, but he hung up the phone and turned it off, dropping the small thing to the couch.

"I brought you a snack," Caius said finally, breaking the tense silence. "AB negative: your favorite. Just don't kill him, hm?"

"How considerate of you, Caius," Isabella said distractedly, watching Edward with sad eyes. "You have all been a...family to me. I'm sorry that I must leave you this way. Carlisle, Esme... you must come to see us more often. Italy misses you."

Neither responded and Isabella finally turned away from them, eyes drifting over Emmett and Rosalie's furious faces and coming to rest on Alice.

"Alice... you've been the best friend I could have ever hopped for." Alice said nothing, her expression tortured. Isabella gave her a smile and turned to Jasper. "I have... a gift for you, Jasper." The man's expression, already guarded, became immediately hostile. His upper lip lifted away from his teeth to display his canines. His arms shook with the effort to hold himself back, but she walked unsteadily to him regardless.

"I can see... that you want very much to fit better into Carlisle's lifestyle. But you're afraid that you will never be able to control the lust. You're afraid of losing your family... Alice over it." His jaw clenched and she continued her unsteady approach. She reached out when she was close enough to touch him, fingertips brushing his face. He opened his mouth, a snarl issuing forth, but suddenly froze, eyes widening and expression going lax.

"Any of you are always welcome in Italy," Isabella said finally, drawing her hand back and stepping away from him. "Edward..." She stopped uncertainly beside him, reaching out one trembling hand. He shied away from her, turning his back.

"Go," he said in a harsh whisper.

Isabella sighed and withdrew. Caius gently took her arm and pulled her slowly from the house that had always been warm and inviting to her, but now felt more like a crypt.

They drove away, William laying contentedly in Isabella's arms. From behind them, a great tortured scream rose and Isabella's eyes fluttered open, red as rubies. She pulled her mouth away and held William securely while he thrashed, her venom flooding through his body.


	4. Lay Me Down

TWO:: Lay me Down

Of all the people Edward didn't expect to see that morning, three long weeks after Isabella's departure, maybe Jacob Black shouldn't have been on the list.

He stood with his back to the wolf, knowing he was there and not caring. Only a few months ago he had defended Bella from a vampire intent on her life here. The campsite was no longer visible, their brief passing already reclaimed by the forest. It felt like another lifetime to Edward.

A soft rustling marked Jacob's phasing. Edward continued to ignore him long after the wolf had dressed himself and stood just inside the line of the trees, waiting.

"Why?"

The man's voice was soft and filled with confusion. There was something else there too: warring tints of gloating and concern. When Edward didn't answer him, he walked forward, bare feet almost silent even on the noisy underbrush. Edward did not turn to face him and Jacob finally walked around him so they were face to face. Or more-or-less since Edward was still looking down and Jacob towered an impressive seven inches over him anyways.

"Cullen."

"I've never had any desire to speak with you before, mutt. What makes you think now would be the exception?" Edward was aware that saying so _was_ speaking. And that he could have said something that contained a lot fewer words and got the point across stronger. _Fuck off_ came to mind, but he was too exhausted to be appropriately hostile.

"What are you doing here, Cullen?"

He didn't miss that the wolf had not referred to him once by a derogatory name, even after he had pulled out a standard one of his own.

"Saying goodbye," he whispered without thought, turning a small half-circle that let him survey the small campsite while keeping his back to his unwelcome companion.

"Why did she leave?" Jacob pressed after a second.

"It doesn't matter."

"Did you...?" He shifted uncomfortably, obviously trying to decide if he was disgusted or not.

"Yes." Edward was making a concerted effort not to hear what the wolf was thinking, not to respond to the accusations running rampant through the other's head. But the visions of himself harming Bella, the one creature he had loved more than any other, eventually proved to be too much.

"I didn't hurt her!" he snarled, spinning to glare at the damned wolf.

Jacob looked like he was going to respond in kind, but paused, hesitating.

"I would never have hurt her."

"Then why did she leave?" Jacob asked softly. "Charlie said she called him a few days ago from Italy. She ran off with some Italian."

Edward stiffened, his jaw clenching spasmodically. Suddenly he wanted nothing more than to attack Jacob, take his frustrations and pain out on this soft creature. This warm creature. This creature that was human (for the moment) and had warm human blood running through his veins. He took a slow breath to calm himself down and then held it so he wouldn't get any more of the wolf's scent.

"You should leave, Black."

Jacob walked past him to do just that, thumbs already hooked in the waistband of his shorts. He paused just inside the clearing, but Edward did not turn to look back at him.

"I loved her too," he said softly. "I'm not saying that to make you angry. Just... so you know. That you're not alone..." his voice trailed off and Edward could hear the man's embarrassed thoughts as clearly as if they were being shouted at him. He felt a tiny stirring of gratitude, but said nothing else.

The underbrush rustled softly as Jacob stripped out of his shorts and phased smoothly, disappearing into the deep forest. Edward slowly placed his back to the cliff and slid down. Bella's smell was still strong here, even after all the months. Realizing where the scent must be coming from, he shifted the new growth and pulled up a jagged piece of granite. A faint pink stain still marred the pale stone.

Edward clutched it hard, letting her scent wash over him and remind him that she _had_ been human once. That she had been his.

Hours passed into days. The sun rose twice over his head, setting his skin aglow beneath its rays, and long after those rays disappeared behind heavy clouds, Edward finally realized that it was raining. He levered himself up and turned around. He shoved his hand into the soil and pulled back, leaving a hole in the rich black earth. The stone he had been clutching had broken in his hand and he let the shards tumble into the hole.

Bella, his Bella, the strange creature he had loved was dead. Her love and his teeth had killed her. Isabella was nothing to him and he hoped they never occasioned to meet again.

"Goodbye," he whispered, pushing the dirt back into the hole. Edward stood slowly and walked away.

XX~*~XX

He wasn't completely sure why he was returning to the house. A very big part of him wanted to go away. Leave all the painful memories behind and never have to suffer seeing something that would remind him of Bella again. But somehow those memories were already dulling down to something vague and manageable. It felt like something had been unplugged inside of him and the things he knew should be causing him irreparable harm were not.

It was this confused distant expression that greeted Carlisle when the older vampire returned from the hospital that night. Carlisle sighed softly and sat down next to his distraught son.

"Edward..."

"I should be feeling more," Edward interrupted him. Carlisle's thoughts were a mess. His mind strayed rapidly from his time in Italy, to the horrific night of Bella's turning, to various seemingly unconnected points in their lives.

"Isabella... is a singularly unique creature," Carlisle ventured finally.

"You never mentioned her." Edward's jaw was clenched tightly.

"I knew her only briefly. She was turned by Caius in the early elven hundreds. She never forgave him for it. She was only in Italy for a few months while I was there; she used my arrival as a distraction to escape. I didn't understand exactly what Caius meant then, but I do now. She must have exited her body then to find another..." He watched Edward's face carefully, slowly setting a hand on his bent shoulders.

"She has another peculiar ability." He hesitated, but Edward had already picked the ability out of his thoughts.  
"She took away my love?"

"It's not quite like that... she can only make the mind understand something it is already capable of. She can only bring out feelings... or affinities that already exist."

Edward wondered fleetingly if she had been making him love her in the first place, or inflaming that love. But he believed her when she said she and Bella were separate people. Could she have been doing it unconsciously? He shook his head slowly... thoughts like that would poison him.

"What did she do to Jasper?" he asked quietly. He had been so consumed with his own predicament, that he hadn't thought to question what her 'gift' to his brother had been.

Carlisle smiled slightly. "Jasper and Alice were in Seattle today."

"He survived the mall?" Edward felt his lips twitch slightly. Jasper was a fair hand at controlling himself when the humans were in "small herds"as he called them, so they tried to avoid large groups of them as much as possible – the school was about as much as he could take.

"More than that... he seems to be repulsed by human blood now."

Edward frowned. "A little extreme."

Carlisle agreed with a small sound. "We're hoping the... repulsion lessens over time." He opened his mouth to speak again, but his cell phone interrupted him, not that Edward hadn't caught Carlisle's unease anyways.

"Dr. Cullen?"

If Edward hadn't been able to hear the voice on the other end of the line, he might have been concerned by Carlisle's sudden shocked look.

"Mr. Black. What can I do for you?" They hadn't heard much from the wolf pack since the battle that had forced them to cooperate, and Edward doubted it was just a pleasure call.

Billy sighed heavily. "It's Jacob..." he hesitated. "He's ill. We think... he might need a doctor..." The man's reluctance was blatantly obvious. But necessity made strange allies and he had swallowed a lot of pride to call on their aid.

"What are his symptoms?"

"He was lethargic... decreased appetite..."

"Was?"

"He went to bed yesterday night and hasn't woken up. He's got a fever." There was a soft creaking sound that a human probably wouldn't have been able to hear. Billy Black was clenching his teeth.

"I'll be right over," Carlisle promised, his voice smooth and even as though there was never a question of his answer.

Edward knew there had never been a question, but Billy didn't.

There was a slight pause and then, "Thank you."

"Any time, Mr. Black. I will be over immediately." He stood as he clicked the phone off and folded it closed. Edward rose with him, hands slipping into his pockets.

_I don't need a bodyguard, Edward._

"I'm not letting you go alone." He was stubborn. Carlisle knew it. The fight was over before it had even gathered steam and Carlisle left to gather his things while Edward brought a car around to the front of the house.

XX~*~XX

The entire pack was assembled outside the house. Edward felt a moment's unease as he read the hostility in their thoughts, but foremost was fear for their packmate. He nodded minutely and Carlisle pushed the door open, grabbing his bag from the back seat.

"What are you doing here?" One of the younger ones asked of Edward, eyes narrowed.

"Leave off, Embry."

Edward nodded to Seth in passing and the young boy inclined his head in return. He didn't look like a young boy. If he didn't know Seth was a mere fourteen, he would have guessed his age closer to his mid-twenties.

Carlisle smiled charmingly as though he really was making a simple house call and not literally going out among the wolves. The pack closed in behind them, but Carlisle was not concerned and his thoughts were filled with nothing but Jacob Black's health. Edward had always loved Carlisle's ability to care, he just wished the Quileute pack felt the same way and weren't crying foul play in their heads.

"Good evening, Mr. Black. Where is our patient?" He spoke with casual certainty, as though he had been called to see to a common cold, when they all realized that for a wolf to be sick, it must be serious.

They were shown back to Jacob's room. For as big as Jacob was, he looked strangely frail stretched out across the much too short bed. His dark skin was flushed red and glistened with sweat. Beneath him, the bed was soaked with it. He whimpered softly in his sleep.

A chair was brought into the tiny room and Edward pressed himself into a far corner while Carlisle sat at the bedside and put two fingers to Jacob's wrist. He could have easily counted the beats without having to feel them, but such normal actions helped to put the concerned onlookers crowding in the hallway to ease.

After a moment, he removed his fingers and pulled a thermometer out of his bag. He closed Jacob's arm around it and leaned back in his chair slightly while the instrument worked.

"I will have to take some normal readings from the pack sometime. Preferably soon."

"Why?" Leah demanded suspiciously. Sam gave her a sharp look and then made a quick motion with one hand. The crowd dispersed, leaving the pack leader and Billy alone in the hallway.

"Jacob's resting heart rate is one hundred and twenty-three beats per minute. Certainly, high for a human, but I have no basis for comparison on a werewolf."

"It's high," Edward announced softly, calling attention to himself.

"How would you know that?" Sam asked quietly. His voice held none of the suspicion Leah's had, but his wary curiosity was evident.

"I spent a night locked in a tent with him with little else to occupy my time," Edward reminded him, glancing up briefly to meet his eyes.

"How high, Edward?"

"His resting heart rate that night, once he went to sleep, was sixty-eight."

"Hm." The thermometer beeped and Carlisle withdrew it. "What is your average body temperature?" he asked, though the number one-oh-nine point five was already laying on top of his thoughts. Getting the other two involved made them feel useful and reduced their tendency towards suspicion, though, so he waited for Sam to answer.

"He's running at one sixteen. We need to get his fever down. And very soon."

"We've already tried packing him in ice... putting him in cold water. The ice just melts and the water warms up fast."

"Yes, I can see how that would be a problem. Please bring some towels... I will need to dry him off."

Edward picked up Carlisle's plan and sighed softly while Sam turned to drag a stack of towels out of the linen closet. He nodded faintly when the older vampire looked up at him and Carlisle gave him a compassionate look.

Carlisle effortlessly lifted the feverish wolf from the bed and held him while Edward and Sam quickly stripped the sheets and changed the bedding. While the other two dried Jacob's slick body, Edward reached up and yanked his shirt over his head.

"I'm going to smell for weeks," he complained under his breath, kicking off his shoes and sliding out of his pants, leaving him naked but for his shorts.

"What is he doing?" Billy asked nervously.

"Edward's body runs at a consistent sixty-three point nine degrees, and he won't melt or warm up." Carlisle smiled at the little joke, having some success at diffusing the immediate hostility.

Edward arranged himself reluctantly on the bed, spreading his body out so he was touching as much of the wolf's chest as possible. His lips curled up in disgust and his nose wrinkled as he set his head on Jacob's shoulder and reached up to lay a hand on his forehead. It was hardly a comfortable position, but nothing about this was going to be comfortable.

Carlisle patted him gratefully on the shoulder and returned to his bag. "That should help with the fever...with your permission, I would like to draw some blood, though."

"Why?"

"In hopes that we might discover the cause of this illness. Am I wrong in assuming that a sick werewolf is cause for concern?"

They both hesitated. Edward picked up their immediate confirmation, which came with a not-insignificant amount of worry and shifted slightly. He couldn't be sure if either or both had made a response with his back turned to the door, but Carlisle approached from the other side of the bed with syringe in hand.

_Hold him steady if he gets agitated._

Edward nodded faintly, one leg sliding over the were's thighs while his hand left Jacob's forehead and settled on his shoulder. At the first touch of the needle, Jacob did stir, growling deeply, his fever-hazed eyes snapping open and flying over the room. Edward held the weakened wolf down easily and Carlisle quickly pulled out a vial of blood. Jacob's skin was already healing around the needle when Carlisle pulled it out.

Jacob's blood smelled pungent and earthy, with a sharp spiciness to it. Edward was surprised to find that it wasn't as unpleasant a smell as he would have expected, considering how the rest of the wolf smelled.

Jacob whimpered in his fitful sleep, unseeing eyes still wide and seeking. His body shifted minutely beneath Edward's. His thoughts were a tumultuous mess and Edward couldn't tell if he was trying to get away, or cuddle closer. He wasn't sure which would be better, given the circumstances.

_Comfort him_.

"You're kidding me..." Edward whispered harshly, but of course, he knew that Carlisle was _not_ kidding.

He ran his hand awkwardly over Jacob's face, shifting enough to get his other arm beneath the bigger man's body. Jacob seemed to make up his mind then and reached up, wrapping Edward in an iron grip and dragging him tight to his chest.

Edward resigned himself to not breathing and closed his eyes, enduring the man's heat and closeness with as much grace as he could manage.

The light flicked off and their little audience reluctantly withdrew, though the door remained open.

"I'll be back in a few minutes to check on his temperature."

To keep from concentrating on the new predicament he found himself literally wrapped in, Edward very slowly counted to one hundred in every language he knew.

He was just getting to the nineties in Latvian when he sensed Carlisle's approach. The man entered the room silently and approached the bed as though wary of waking the occupants. Edward watched him silently from where he was still caught in Jacob's death grip.

Carlisle wedged the thermometer under Jacob's arm and they both waited for the little thing to beep.

_One ten point three. You seem to have done the trick._

"Should I stay longer?" Edward whispered, almost dreading the answer.

_No. We don't want to send his system into shock. The fever is broken...it should continue to go down from here. You can untangle yourself. Gently._

Edward rolled his eyes and went about the laborious process of extracting himself from Jacob's arms. The wolf whimpered and caught him twice when he'd almost succeeded in freeing himself. He was just considering being a little less gentle, but finally managed free himself by virtue of falling off the bed. He cussed quietly and heard a snigger from the hallway. Leah's loud and uncharitable thoughts hardly helped Edward's mood at all while he dressed and crept out of the room.

"I will run this blood and get the results back to you as soon as I can. I can come by tomorrow to check on Jacob as well." There was just enough pause in his voice to hint at a request, but the confidence there assured an easy agreement. Billy nodded slowly and Sam barely hesitated to take Carlisle's hand when the vampire offered it.

_Thank you_, the pack leader thought, but didn't say. Edward nodded to him as he passed.

XX~*~XX

"What mauled you?" Emmett lifted a brow, his nose wrinkling.

Edward shut the front door a little harder than was strictly necessary and stalked past him to the stairs.

"Seriously! Did you get attacked or something?"

The door opened again and Carlisle stepped through, setting his bag on the table in the entryway. Seeing that he wouldn't be getting an answer out of his brother, Emmett turned his attention to Carlisle.

"You smell too...not as bad though."

"Why thank you, Emmett." Carlisle chuckled as he crossed the room, going straight for his office.

"What happened?!"

"Calm down, Emmett. One of the Quileute boys just needed some medical attention."

Emmett's nose wrinkled again. "Did one of them attack Edward or something?"

The upstairs shower hissed to life and Carlisle tried to restrain his smile. "Edward was just helping Jacob break a fever."

"Huh?...Oh! Yuck!" Emmett shuddered impressively, looking towards the stairs with a mixture of sympathy and horror. Very quickly though, Carlisle knew that sympathy would turn to mischief. He almost regretted telling Emmett, but the last thing any of them needed was Emmett getting it into his head that his brother was in need of vengeance and attacking a wolf when they were so close to a real relationship with their neighbors.

"Go easy on him, Emmett."

"Yeah...sure." That mischievous glint had already appeared and he was contemplating the stairs with undue intensity.

Carlisle sighed and continued towards his office. Esme was waiting for him on the lounge and he smiled as he saw her, crossing the room to her open arms without thought.

"You made a house call to La Push?"

Carlisle made a sound of assent, laying his head in her lap. She ran her fingers over his face, ruffling his hair.

"Jacob is ill... I'm not sure with what, but it must be serious."

"For them to call you?" she wagered.

Carlisle laughed shortly. "For them to call _anyone_, but yes, especially me. I've got some blood samples to run... see if I can figure it out."

"Maybe you need to look into veterinary medicine," Esme joked.

He twisted slightly to look up at her. She had always been the most beautiful thing in the world to him, and amusement made her face glow. "I am worried about him... but maybe this will be the pathway to a real alliance between us. Stop this foolish bickering and dissolve that border."

"It would be nice," Esme agreed with a soft sigh. "I do so love it here, and we return so often."

"We won't be able to stay here much longer..." It was easy enough for the 'children' to leave for school, but people were going to start questioning why the good doctor still look like he was in his twenties. Esme at least could claim plastic surgery if push came to shove.

"Tomorrow will solve itself, my love."

It was their personal motto, and it never ceased to make Carlisle smile. He propped himself up and pulled her down for a long kiss. Even after all the decades, Carlisle never tired of touching her, never tired of her companionship. He mourned that Edward had lost that, but hopped Isabella's trick would help him heal sooner, even if it was a cruel thing in its own way.

XX~*~XX

Edward curled into the water and let it run over his body. He held no illusions that the water would wash away all of the mutt's scent, but it was making him feel marginally better. The water was hot enough to scald a human, but Edward barely felt the heat; how could he when Jacob had been so warm beneath him? Comparatively, the water was barely tepid.

He took a deep breath of the heavy, steamy air and held it, letting it spread its minute warmth through his chest. He finally released the air and sat heavily on the shower floor. He let the water continue running well after their custom hot water tank was exhausted. It wasn't until Rosalie started pounding on the door hours later that he finally hauled himself up and turned off the taps.

"You smell horrible, Edward. What were you doing in there?" Rosalie asked when he passed her in the hall. Her face was wrinkled in a way that still managed to be lovely.

Edward rolled his eyes and refused to answer.

"You better not have made the whole shower smell like that!" she called after him, but he was already around the corner and had no intention of going back.


	5. You're Better Than Me

THREE: You're Better than Me

**~X~**

When Carlisle arrived, he was alone. The pack seemed more menacing to him without Edward there. Carlisle brushed the stray thought away: he was just reacting instinctively to being in 'enemy' territory alone. If he wanted this alliance to work, he would have to change that reaction.

He smiled easily at Billy and a little wider when he spotted Jacob. The boy looked weak and moved gingerly as though sore, but at least he was awake.

"Good to see you up and about, Jacob."

The young wolf watched him carefully as he eased himself into a chair. A bowl was set in front of him and he made a face at it, pushing it away.

"Still no appetite?" Carlisle sat next to him and reached across the table to take his wrist. Jacob flinched back immediately, body tensing. Carlisle held onto his wrist gently and made no indication of having noticed the younger man's reaction. He eyed his watch while he counted beats and then took out a penlight and leaned forward, checking his pupils.

"Your heart rate is still a little high, I think." He took out a thermometer and held it up. "Under the tongue, please."

Jacob obligingly put the device under his tongue and glared silently while it read his temperature. Carlisle took the opportunity to engage Billy in a casual conversation on baseball. Billy seemed a little shocked that Carlisle followed the sport, and the vampire smiled.

"Perhaps we'll have to have a game sometime. Next big storm, maybe?" He smiled invitingly, but the thermometer went off before Billy could make a response and Carlisle turned back to his glowering patient.

"Edward followed you."

"Hm?"

Jacob jerked his chin towards the door seconds before Carlisle picked up the sound of Edward's approach.

"So he has."

"What did he do to me?" Jacob asked acidly, eyes narrowed.

"Your fever is back up. Not as badly though... one eleven point three. And why do you ask?"

"I _smell_ like him." Jacob's upper lip was curled slightly and his brow was pulled in. His expression ended up looking more confused than angry and Carlisle puzzled at it. Before he could answer though, there was a knock at the door and Sam quietly let the other vampire in.

"_I_ smell like _you_, so we're even," Edward greeted, returning Jacob's glare with a faint one of his own. "Sorry I'm late."

_I don't need a body guard, Edward, _Carlisle reminded him silently.

"What did you do to me?" Jacob asked. His skin was still flushed and his heart rate had skyrocketed. Carlisle tipped his head curiously, counting the beats. He made a note of the number and looked up at Edward as the younger vampire crossed the room and walked around Jacob's chair. Jacob followed his progress with coiled nervousness, spinning quickly as soon as Edward passed out of his line of sight.

"Calm down." Edward set one frigid hand to Jacob's forehead and the other lightly across his throat. The werewolf squirmed under his touch.

"Thank you, Edward," Carlisle said brightly. He pulled a sheet out of his briefcase and turned slightly. Billy and Sam were both watching Edward and Jacob with worried, wary looks on their faces and Carlisle wondered at that briefly as well. It didn't feel like the same hostility of men eyeing an enemy reluctantly let into their midst. It was something else entirely, but Carlisle couldn't guess at it. Perhaps Edward could tell him more later.

"I've run some blood tests. Everything seems to be normal. Or at least, nothing seems to be remarkably _abnormal_. I'll still need to run tests on someone who's healthy before I can really interpret these results. But all in all, on paper, Jacob is an astonishingly healthy human boy."

The expression on Sam's face said that he had expected those results and wasn't happy about them. He sighed. "You can run tests on me," he offered quietly. "And any of the rest of the pack you want. Just tell me who."

Carlisle smiled. "I should probably look at all of you at some point." He took out a syringe and motioned to a chair.

Sam sat uneasily, setting one arm on the table. "Why are you so... concerned? About these tests and things?"

"If I don't know what you look like while you're healthy, I'll hardly know what to do when you're sick, will I?"

"Why do you care?"

"Why shouldn't I?" Carlisle returned reasonably. Sam winced slightly when the needle punctured his skin, but made no complaint while Carlisle pulled out a vial of blood.

Edward blinked as Sam's blood was drawn, his brows drawing together. He had expected the same overpowering earthy scent he had picked up from Jacob, but though they smelled similar, Sam's blood was far less... just less. It wasn't as heady.

"You can take your hands off me," Jacob growled suddenly. Edward glanced down at him. Jacob's pulse was thrumming like a snare drum, his hands were clenched into fists and his arms shook faintly. Across the table, Sam was eyeing them both warily, saying nothing.

"Breathe," Edward instructed, not removing his hands. "I'm not hurting you."

"I didn't say you were!" Jacob snapped. "Just... stop touching me."

"What is your problem?" He barely stopped himself from tacking 'dog' to the sentence, warned by a sharp mental command from Carlisle.

"I don't want you to touch me, you...fucking...leech." His voice lost its ferocity and he slumped forward slightly, tension releasing from his muscles like water through a sieve.

Edward hiked an eyebrow, but before he could say anything, Carlisle had put a new sleeve on his thermometer and was holding it out to Jacob. "Let's take your temp again," he suggested.

Jacob compliantly took the thermometer back and Edward removed his hands, stepping away.

"Almost back to normal. Would you like Edward to stay around for a while?" Carlisle teased, though his voice sounded completely serious. Edward gave him an incredulous look and Jacob flushed dark red, glowering fiercely. "Guess not. Do you have any other symptoms? Headache, nausea, joint aches?"

"Threw up a couples times," Jacob muttered, glaring sideways at Edward as though it were his fault. "None of the other stuff."

"Hm. Well, if it gets any worse we can try to treat the symptoms, but otherwise there isn't much else I can do. Let's keep an eye on you for now, and see how it goes over the next few days, hm?"

"Whatever," Jacob groused. "Stop bringing him, though."

"Alright. I'll be happy to lay down with you myself, if that's preferable."

Jacob's eyes flew open and he gave Carlisle a horrified, incredulous look. Carlisle looked back mildly, as though he saw nothing wrong with the scenario. "No thanks..."

"Please try to eat; I'm not sure we could get an IV to function with your advanced healing." Carlisle pushed the bowl of soup back across the table and Jacob glared at it, but reluctantly picked the spoon up and took a cautious sip. Carlisle spoke a moment more with Billy and thanked Sam with a nod, carefully packing away the vial of blood and notes he had taken on the packleader's vitals.

"We'll talk more about that game," he promised, motioning for Edward to proceed him to the car.

Edward climbed into the passenger seat, having run to the Black house rather than take the much slower car.

"They know why he's sick," Edward announced once they had pulled away from the house and were approaching the traditional boarder between their territories.

"Oh?"

"They weren't thinking of the reason, exactly... just that he had done it to himself."

"Hm. I wonder what he could have done. With his immune system, I doubt he could have intentionally exposed himself to a virus... and I don't think spending a few days outside in the rain would have had much effect."

Edward glanced over at Carlisle, eyes narrowed. He knew the man was worried about him, but thankfully picked up no reproach for the few days _he_ had spent out in the rain. Of course, such a thing would have about as much effect on him as on a mountain. Jacob Black wasn't much different.

"I can't think of anything he could have done to get himself sick," Carlisle continued, speaking out loud more as a comfort than out of necessity. "He doesn't seem to be suffering from any injury, it's not an infection..."

"I don't know. They're cautious with their thoughts with me around. I think they're getting better at hiding their thoughts from me. From Jacob, I barely get anything. And sometimes from Sam it's just... blackness."

"We can't exactly begrudge them their desire for privacy. They do consider us interlopers, after all."

"It's just.. disconcerting."

Carlisle didn't have to be a mind reader to know Edward was drawing a comparison with Bella. He reached out thoughtlessly and squeezed Edward's leg reassuringly. Edward absently covered his hand and squeezed back briefly before releasing him. His gaze was unfocused and directed out the window. Carlisle sighed softly and withdrew his hand, setting it back on the steering wheel.

He dropped Edward off at the turn off to the house and continued to the hospital. Edward was still standing in the rain when Carlisle turned the corner and he was lost to sight.

When he returned to the Black house that night, Jacob was looking much improved, if more agitated. He had expected Edward to show up, but the younger vampire never appeared and when Carlisle arrived home he was told that Edward had taken off without a word. Alice reassured him that he was just hunting and would be back in a week.

**~X~**

_Tell him_, Sam pleaded. Jacob turned his head when the black wolf nudged him. He was larger than his leader now, by a significant margin. If he wanted leadership, he could take it. Even though Sam had offered him the alpha position once, the fact that Jacob could _take_ it now had subtly changed their relationship. Sam was alternately more cautious and more domineering with him. He apologized for it sometimes.

_No._

_You're going to kill yourself doing this._

_Better than the alternative._ The rest of the pack was putting in their opinions on the matter and Jacob snarled at them, taking off into the woods. Sam didn't follow him and one-by-one the pack phased out of their wolf forms and he was left alone.

_Stop feeling so sorry for yourself,_ Leah sniped in parting. She phased out before he could say anything to her. Leah was the only one in the pack he really resented, the only one he really would tear apart if she said anything else. She couldn't understand what was going on, she had no sense of community, no ability to let the past go and do what was best for the pack. Leah tormented them constantly with her bitterness over Sam and Emily, and made a point to throw her erotic fantasies into their heads whenever she could, while poking vicious fun at the ones they couldn't help sharing.

She wasn't making friends. And she wasn't making this easy.

He ran. He ran until his chest burned with the effort and his flanks ached. When he finally stopped, he found himself in snow. A familiar scent was weak on the wind and Jacob snarled when he recognized it. Tipping his head back, he howled furiously, and then turned and ran the other way.

**~X~**

Alice contemplated the small house before her. Her inability to _see_ anything that involved this place or anyone near it irritated her fiercely. It made her feel uncertain... vulnerable.

_Now you know how the rest of us feel_, Jasper had teased.

But that wasn't true. The 'rest of them' benefited just as much from her talent as she did, and Jasper more than most.

"Are you sure you're okay to do this?" Carlisle asked again. He was giving her a searching look, which she returned with a bright smile. He had been called just half an hour before: Jacob's fever was back with a vengeance, and since Edward was still somewhere in Canada hunting, she had offered to come along.

"My temper is far better contained than _Edward's_," she reminded her adopted father, stepping out of the car before he could respond.

The gathered pack members – fewer than Alice remembered – seemed surprised and strangely disappointed to see her. Seth even asked her where Edward was. She pouted at him playfully, pretending to look put out. The wolf didn't seem taken in for a minute, but mutely accepted her explanation for why she was there instead of her brother.

"He'll be back in a few days," Alice assured him, reaching up to ruffle his hair. The 'big sister' effect would have been carried off better if she _were_ actually "bigger" than he was. But no luck. Like all the Quileute boys, Seth was shooting up faster than his clothing could contain him. He was the only one of the pack that had made an effort to be more friendly and had even been over to the Cullen house on two separate occasions. He and Emmett got along better than was healthy for either of them; she shuddered at the mischief they would get into and felt another surge of annoyance that she wouldn't be able to seeit beforehand. Emmett hadn't taken advantage of that little loophole yet (that she knew of) but it wouldn't be long before he caught on.

"It seemed like he was getting better," Billy was saying. Alice turned her attention away from the youngest pack member and looked over the others gathered there. She recognized the leader, a tall, serene looking man who kept close to Billy's side. Just beyond him, a beautiful woman with a terrible scar down one side of her face was busy cooking, and arranged on the couch were two other much-too-big boys. She recognized them as the two who had accompanied Jacob to the graduation party, but couldn't remember their names.

"Has he been eating?"

"He was, a little. Starting throwing up yesterday though, and the fever..."

"Alright, let's take a look. Alice?"

Alice followed him back to Jacob's room, peering curiously at the photos on the walls and general décor of the house. It was very... homey. She decided at once that she liked the Black house, finding the quaintness of it charming.

Jacob was sprawled over his bed, legs and arms hanging off the edges at angles. Something should be done about _that_ at least – it couldn't have been comfortable or healthy to be overhanging his bed so drastically like that.

Once she got over the inefficiency of his bed, she started noticing what Carlisle was already confirming. The room was several degrees warmer than the hallway. Like a space heater, Jacob was putting off so much body heat that there was a noticeable difference in the air temperature.

"Towels!" Carlisle called hurriedly. Having already anticipated his request, Sam was ready with towels and bedding.

Alice quickly stripped to her underwear and tank-top.

"No time for modesty, Alice," Carlisle said quickly, not even looking at her as he arranged Jacob back on the bed. It had been his idea to keep her in a tank; having a half-naked vampire girl in bed with him would already embarrass Jacob enough, without having to have an all-naked vampire girl in his bed. But she quickly pulled her tank off.

She was somewhat curious to note that Sam didn't so much as glance at her almost completely naked body. Seth, however, stared gape-jawed at her from the hallway where he stood, holding the recently stripped sheets and damp towels.

Sam stepped back from the bed and Carlisle motioned to it quickly, one hand on Jacob's forehead. His brow was creased in worry and from the tilt of his head, she could tell he was taking the wolf's frenzied pulse, even while he tried to bring his fever down. Alice set her knees to the bed and folded over Jacob's long body.

The werewolf startled awake, eyes wide and wild. He shouted loudly and fought against her, shying away from her chilly body.

"Hold him down!" Carlisle ordered sharply.

Alice closed her knees around the thrashing wolf's thighs and applied the rest of her body to his chest, holding his wrists down firmly. Jacob Black may have been a lot taller than she was – a _lot- _but she was still heavier by a fairly significant amount. He moaned and whined while he fought against her hold, panting heavily. His pulse was steadily getting louder and faster and Alice found herself immensely grateful that he smelled so horrible to her, or the fast pulse of blood might have been too much to take.

"He stopped breathing," she announced quietly. She could hear his lungs convulsing and worried that his heart was approaching its breaking point.

"Get my bag!" Carlisle snapped. He didn't bring out his command voice often, but the wolves reacted to the sheer authority in it immediately and instinctively. Even as he was tipping Jacob's head up and taking a deep breath to administer mouth-to-mouth, his bag was rushed into the room.

He breathed slowly into Jacob's mouth, pinching his nose shut firmly. Because his body didn't make use of oxygen, everything he took in, he breathed out; it would be little different than Jacob taking a breath himself. He lifted his head away for a second and then closed his lips around the wolf's again. Jacob had stopped struggling beneath Alice, but his heart was still thundering at an alarming rate.

"Alice. Amiodarone."

She levered herself off the bed and riffled through his bag while he continued to breathe for the flushed werewolf. Alice quickly filled the syringe and injected a healthy amount of the drug into Jacob's left arm. For a moment, his body was still and she worried briefly that she had given him too much and inadvertently killed him. But his heart rate was reducing to something not so startlingly high and he took a gasped breath on his own.

He coughed hard while his lungs fought to start working on their own. Carlisle watched him intently for a moment and then seemed to relax marginally. While Alice waited for further orders and their worried audience watched in white-faced anxiety, he stripped off his jacket and quickly undid the buttons on his shirt.

"Lift him up for a moment."

Alice gently pulled Jacob up by his shoulders, carefully supporting the back of his head. Carlisle eased behind him, pressing his back to the wall and arranging his legs so they fell to either side of his patient's body. He made a motion with one hand and Alice pulled Jacob's lengthy body up, fitting him against Carlisle's chest. Once he was settled, she eased onto the bed herself, setting her back against Jacob's much too warm chest.

"Things like this are usually done to conserve warmth," Carlisle commented after a second, his head falling back to hit the wall. "Not very professional of me, is this?" he asked, laughing softly.

"The hospital probably wouldn't appreciate it much," Alice agreed.

Carlisle laughed again, imagining the reaction of his very human patients if he tried this on someone's fevered daughter. It was liberating to have a patient -and said patient's family- know what he was. There was so much more he was capable of doing than what was allowable in normal human parameters.

"Is there anything I can do?" Sam asked finally. He, Billy and Seth had been hovering in the doorway. Just behind them, the other two were craning to see into the room.

"A glass of lukewarm water and a clean cloth," Carlisle requested, softening his expression. "He needs fluids, and an IV isn't going to cut it."

"This is going to be a long night, isn't it?" Alice asked once Sam had left for the requested items and the others had reluctantly cleared out, leaving only Billy to remain at the bedside. She smiled apologetically at him, but he wasn't paying any attention to her. His worried eyes were glued to his son's grimacing face.

The water was brought in and Carlisle calmly instructed Billy on getting fluids into the unconscious werewolf.

**~X~**

"At least his heart rate is down," Carlisle commented the next morning, one hand laying idly across Jacob's throat. "I don't like using amiodarone if I can help it." He laughed at himself quietly. "Though I guess in Jacob's case it's not much of a problem. I doubt his immune system would allow for the side effects."

"How's his temperature?" She didn't mind helping. But she was bored and Jasper was waiting for her. At least the combination of hers and Carlisle's scents were slowly overpowering Jacob's.

"Let's try to get up again," Carlisle agreed. They had tried once an hour before, but within a few minutes Jacob's temperature had shot back up.

Alice hopped lightly off the bed and supported the still-unconscious wolf so Carlisle could ease out from under him. Carlisle stretched impressively and Alice reached down to grab her toes. She heard a startled squeak from the hallway and realized that Seth must be standing in the doorway. Carlisle rolled his eyes at her very slightly and she grinned as she straightened up, turning to face the Clearwater boy.

Seth was red from neck to hairline and staring at Alice again, wide-eyed.

"You can come in and check on your friend if you want," Carlisle said quietly, smiling as though he didn't notice Seth staring gapped-jawed at his mostly naked daughter.

"Yeah..." Seth agreed breathlessly, but it took several seconds for him to move. Alice backed into the far corner, retrieving her tank-top and pulling it over her head. Seth tore his eyes away from her and approached the bed cautiously. He reached a hand out to his friend, fingertips brushing over his forehead.

"He doesn't feel as hot," he murmured.

"You wouldn't know of anything Jacob had perhaps eaten to make him sick, would you?" Carlisle asked casually, remembering Edward's announcement that the pack knew what was making Jacob ill.

"He didn't eat anything the rest of us didn't," Seth answered, still staring at Jacob's flushed face.

"And you can't think of anything else?" His voice was so casual that Seth didn't seem to be suspicious of the question. He did wince slightly though, his head bowing.

"No. I'm going to go tell Billy that his fever is down again." The boy beat a hasty retreat, sliding around Carlisle and scampering out the door.

Carlisle sighed and took out a thermometer to validate Seth's announcement. Jacob's temperature had actually dropped a little below normal, making Carlisle sigh. He put the device away and buttoned his shirt up, but didn't tuck the tails into his pants. "You can put your pants on for now. We'll stay for a while and check on him once his body has a chance to recover from us."

Alice chuckled quietly and Carlisle gave her a weak smile as he turned and left the room.

Sam was stretched out on the couch, sound asleep and the other two boys were sprawled out on the floor. Billy was at the table, looking like he hadn't slept in days, Emily setting a mug of tea down in front of him. Seth was nowhere to be seen, having apparently fled the premises as soon as he told Billy of his son's condition.

Emily smiled somewhat cautiously as the two vampires entered the room. She had a tendency to keep the scarred half of her body away from them when she could, but she was facing them head-on this time.

"Thank you, Doctor Cullen, Alice... for staying with him," she said quietly. "We all appreciate it."

"It's not a problem. A far better use of our evenings than hiding and pretending to sleep."

Alice didn't agree, but smiled anyways and nodded. Her eyes were glazed over and she was peaking into the future in hopes that she would see something other than blackness. She smiled wider when she saw herself with Jasper.

"Is there anything I can get for you...?" Emily asked, her expression a little torn as her knowledge of her guests warred with her normal hostess instincts.

"A glass of water would be much appreciated," Carlisle said with a grateful look, taking pity on her. She seemed pleased to be given something to do and looked up at Alice in askance.

"The same." Alice smiled warmly. She was more inclined to be generous when she knew she would be seeing her love again soon.

The two vampires took seats at the table and waited while Emily filled glasses and returned to the table.

"His temperature is low enough now that you will hopefully be able to keep a hold on it with ice and cool towels." Carlisle looked up at Billy who nodded minutely, his withered hands wrapped around the steaming mug of tea. He had yet to drink from it, but seemed to be getting some comfort from the warmth. He nodded again after a moment and then excused himself and pushed away from the table, leaving the untouched tea to steam quietly, untouched.

Carlisle rose himself, setting his glass down. "I will be back momentarily." He disappeared down the hallway, leaving Alice and Emily alone.

Emily seemed a little uncomfortable, so Alice struck up a conversation. She kept to benign topics, gently feeling out what the woman enjoyed and what she liked to talk about.

"He seems stable," Carlisle announced. He set a hand on the back of Alice's chair, addressing himself to Emily. "Check his temp every hour and keep ice handy, if necessary. Don't hesitate to call if he takes a turn for the worst."

Emily nodded quickly. "Hopefully I will not have to." She looked up quickly, eyes wide and apologetic, trying to explain herself, but Carlisle waved her off.

"Maybe next time we meet will be on better terms."

Emily smiled tentatively and Carlisle put a hand on Alice's shoulder, gently urging her out of the chair.

"There is absolutely something going on that they won't tell us," Alice said with an annoyed sigh as they were pulling away from the Black house. Carlisle agreed with a soft noise, lost in his own thoughts.

**~X~**

"Carlisle is in La Push," Alice called down as soon as the front door opened. It closed again without a word from Edward.

Emmett laughed uproariously and tipped his head back to imitate a wolf howl. Rosalie smacked him soundly, which cut off his howl, but brought on other noises Alice quickly tuned out. She jumped lightly out the hall window and pulled herself onto the roof where Jasper was waiting for her.

"What do you think is going on?" Jasper asked her. His voice had been missing its edge since Isabella's little gift. She missed it dearly.

"I'm not sure," Alice admitted honestly. "I can't see anything that involves any of _them_. You know that. Carlisle's future returns shortly though...but Edward's doesn't."

Jasper's brow creased. He reached over and grabbed her, gently pulling her into his lap. She leaned back against him and he rested his forehead on her shoulder.

"I guess we'll just have to wait for the future like the rest of the world."

"I don't like waiting," Alice pouted.

Jasper laughed quietly; a sound that was becoming more rare and Alice treasured it. She felt a burgeoning hatred for Isabella and it warred annoyingly with her lingering love for Bella. At least with Isabella's emergence, they had finally figured out why Bella had been so strange; seemed comfortable with things she shouldn't have been, instinctively knew things she couldn't. How she had always seemed like such an 'old soul.'

That didn't mean Alice had to like what had been done to her lover. In theory, it was a nice gift. But taking Jasper's ferocity had been like castrating him. There was no challenge left for him, the world wasn't as bright for him. He was docile, passionless. Alice hated it.

**~X~**

Edward was almost growling when he arrived at the Black house. Most of the pack was absent – presumably banished from the house. He quickly picked up Seth and Sam, and knew that Emily and Billy would be there as well.

He knocked hurriedly on the door, not sure why he was so anxious to get inside. He didn't believe Carlisle was in any _real_ danger, something about this house and those inside just set his teeth on edge, anxiety coursing through him whenever he approached.

Seth jerked the door open, quickly motioning Edward into the house. Edward puzzled at the relieved expression on the boy's face, but didn't stop to wonder about it too much. He was already pulling his soaking shirt off before he'd even made it into the house. Emily appeared with almost startling suddenness. She took his shirt before he could deposit the dripping mess onto the floor, and he quickly stepped out of his muddy shoes and handed her his heavy jeans.

Carlisle was standing in the hallway with a big yellow towel stretched between his hands. Edward let the older vampire swathe him in the towel, containing his strange anxiety while Carlisle patted him dry and ruffled his hair vigorously.

"You could have made at least some attempt to stay dry," he admonished.

"You know I don't like you here alone," Edward whispered hurriedly, his lips barely moving, voice extending only to Carlisle's ear.

_Jacob's fever wasn't waiting for you to return. Stop worrying so much – I am capable of taking care of myself._

Edward glared at him, but said nothing more, stepping into the room as soon as he was released from the towel's rough embrace. His scalp tingled slightly from the towel's rough treatment, and he knew his hair was probably sticking out in all directions.

Sam was sitting on the opposite side of the bed, pressing a cool cloth to Jacob's forehead.

_I never though I would be so happy to see a half-naked vampire_, the packleader thought before he was able to get a grasp on his thoughts and his mind shut down. Edward hiked an eyebrow and thought to say something, but kept his mouth closed. He reached out to touch Jacob's chest, surprised again by how the wolf's warmth penetrated his normally impervious skin.

"You needn't have rushed," Carlisle announced, returning to the room sans towel. "It's not as high as it's been."

Edward could tell that, but arranged himself on the bed anyways, less surprised than he should have been when Jacob reached up to wrap him in a full body hug. Carlisle and Sam withdrew after a strained silence and Edward closed his eyes, counting Jacob's heartbeats.

**~X~**

"I realize there is something going on here that you aren't going to tell me," Carlisle whispered quietly. He and Sam were on the front porch, the downpour masking their words. "But I get the impression that it somehow involves Edward. If you're not going to tell me – you should at least tell him."

"I can't," Sam whispered.

"Wolf or not, Jacob's body can't take this much longer; it's going to give in eventually. Consider that."

Sam's eyes closed, his jaw and fists clenching. "I _can't_," he repeated harshly. His entire body was beginning to shake. Carlisle sighed, setting a gentle hand on the distraught werewolf's shoulder. Sam flinched away from his cold touch, but Carlisle squeezed firmly.

"I will continue to do what I can to make him comfortable."

Sam nodded shortly, still not opening his eyes. There didn't seem to be much of a question beyond 'comfortable' at the moment. Even with his amazing physiology, Jacob's body couldn't continue functioning when his internal temperature was fluctuating so drastically. Carlisle released him and turned away, stepping back into the house.

When he returned to the room, Edward was sitting up with his back to the wall, Jacob cradled in his lap. Jacob, conscious if dazed, was staring up at him with his brows drawn together. He looked like he was trying to puzzle something out. Edward was patiently forcing him to swallow spoonfuls of warm chicken broth. The vampire was obviously not breathing and Carlisle smirked automatically; of his family, Edward was the least tolerant of human food and chicken was his least favorite scent.

Carlisle turned and gave Sam a pointed look. The alpha glanced at the scene in the room and winced, refusing to meet the vampire's eye. He retreated quickly

Carlisle sighed. "Is he coherent?"

"Well... he hasn't taken my head off yet for touching him, so...no."

Carlisle chuckled under his breath and approached the bed, taking Jacob's vitals while he went over the conversation he'd just had with the pack alpha.

"Great," Edward muttered, picking up the conversation immediately. He looked down at Jacob with a sour expression. "What could I have done to cause this?"

_You didn't bite him, did you? _Edward glared hotly at him and Carlisle sighed. _It's the only thing I can think of._

"Well don't," Edward ordered very quietly.

Seemingly unperturbed by Edward's irritation, Jacob continued to stare up at him with uncanny intensity, his expression still marred by puzzlement, eyes glazed as though not quite awake.

**~X~**

Edward was still in a sour mood by the time they got home. Alice greeted him with her customary kiss and Emmett immediately commenced wolf-noises from the upstairs balcony. More than happy to take his frustrations out on his brother, Edward sprinted up the stairs and pounced on his brother through the open door. They flew through the air and tumbled to the ground, landing hard enough to put a dent in the lawn.

"Uhg! You're getting wolf all over me!" Emmett complained, pushing his brother off and standing, wiping at his clothing as though he could brush the scent away. Edward caught his ankle and yanked him off his feet, tackling him again.

"Stop, stop!" the bigger vampire pleaded. "Or Rosalie will never touch me again!"

"A fitting punishment," Edward groused, holding his brother down by his shoulders.

"You better not be making him smell, Edward!!" Rosalie shouted from the balcony, glaring down at them. She was dressed in a lot of lace and silk. Emmett groaned.

"Cut it out, or you and I are going to be doing a lot of wrestling in the future," Edward threatened darkly.

Emmett paused mid-breath and looked up at his brother speculatively. "Planning on spending a lot of time smelling like a wolf?" he asked. His expression was, for the moment, more curious – and concerned- than teasing.

Edward pushed off of him immediately and bounded into the forest. Emmett flipped onto his feet and turned to follow his brother, but Rosalie was shouting for him. He hesitated, debating, but another order from his mate made up his mind and he turned back to the house and headed for the shower.


	6. Defenseless

FOUR:: Defenseless

A pleasant, wolf-free week passed before Edward was called again. Strangely, he didn't think to remark that _he_ had been called, rather than Carlisle. If he had thought about it at all, he might have assumed that they had called Carlisle at the hospital and were given his cell number.

"This is getting ridiculous," Edward said as the door was pulled open. He didn't even bother to greet Sam, who seemed to have become a permanent occupant of the Black household. "I am going to go break his damn fever _again_ and then you-" He pointed up at Sam's nose, irritated that he had to look up as well to meet his eyes. "Are going to tell me what's going on!"

Sam's jaw clenched. From the couch, Leah giggled unkindly and Edward barely stopped himself from snarling at her. She continued to laugh well after he had left the room.

For the first time since Jacob's illness had forced Billy to call on their aid, Jacob was conscious when Edward made it into his room.

"What are you doing here?" Jacob demanded sharply. He pushed himself up on shaking arms to glare at the vampire. "Get out!"

"No. Lay down."

"Don't you fucking tell me what to do, parasite!"

"Impressive. A polysyllabic word. Lay down." He tore his shirt off, very nearly shredding it in his irritation and kicked off his shoes.

"Goddamnit, get out of here!" Jacob lurched to his feet and weaved, trying to focus a glare on Edward. He was flushed, his skin slick with a fine coating of sweat. At least the bedding seemed to be mostly dry and he looked like he had been toweled off recently.

Edward stepped out of his pants and folded them over a chair before acknowledging Jacob's attempts at intimidation. "You can lay down like a nice puppy, or I can throw you to the bed and hold you there. Your choice."

A deep growl ripped out of Jacob's throat and he stumbled forward, one fist cocked back and aiming for Edward's face. Edward caught it easily and held it more gently than he would have liked to. "Next time, I'll let you break your hand," he warned.

Seeing that the shape-shifter was not going to cooperate, he hooked his heel behind Jacob's knee and pushed. The man was so unsteady on his feet that he went easily enough, crashing back to the bed with enough force to make it shake violently. Edward gave the bed half a second to resettle under Jacob's not-insubstantial weight and then added his own, laying purposefully across the wolf's warm chest.

Jacob whined, his breath coming in little pants. "Get off!" It sounded like a plea.

"No."

"You're heavy, you fucker!"

"Such language." Edward tutted, but braced his forearms on the mattress and took the majority of his weight off Jacob's more fragile body. Jacob took a shuddering breath and used the next to snarl wordlessly, glaring. His heart rate was erratic and sounded fast enough to be painful.

"You're much better at this when you're unconscious," Edward commented. He shifted his weight and put a hand over Jacob's forehead, ignoring the way the other's teeth were bared. Jacob turned his head away sharply and closed his eyes tightly, doubtlessly wishing Edward away.

Edward laughed derisively. "Unfortunately for us both, my friend, I am not an imagined bogey-man and won't disappear when you open your eyes again."

"I should be so lucky," Jacob muttered darkly.

"Mmm," Edward agreed, chuckling. Silence fell heavily between them and Edward idly counted Jacob's heartbeats, making a mental note of the strange bursts of rapid beats followed by periods of almost normalcy. There seemed to be no rhythm to the bursts and Edward could only assume they were in reaction to some thought Jacob was hiding from him.

As soon as it looked like Jacob wasn't going to try to escape, Edward cautiously rolled to his side. He was uncomfortable with how much it felt like _he_ was being cradled in this position. But at least when he was pressed against the wolf's side, he wasn't getting the brunt of Jacob's breath in his face. Instead, his warm, shallow breaths ghosted across Edward's forehead. He could think of a lot better places to be, but this was at least slightly better than the alternative.

Jacob didn't say a word – even his mind was blank – and Edward rewarded his silence by not saying anything when Jacob's arm closed around him almost compulsively.

"Why do you have to lay like that?" the wolf asked finally. His voice was stronger as the fever faded and his mind cleared slightly.

"I'm covering all your major arteries," Edward answered, keeping his voice flat and professional. His leg was stretched over Jacob's thigh, one arm covering his stomach, palm flat on his frenzied heart, and forehead close enough to chill his throat.

"Oh."

Silence fell again and they stayed in that strange limbo for fifteen minutes. Finally, Emily appeared uncertainly at the bedside. She had an odd look on her face, but Edward ignored it in favor of the thermometer in her hand. He smiled up at her as charmingly as he could manage while he took the device from her small fingers.

Edward tapped it against Jacob's lips. "Open up," he ordered. Jacob reached up and snatched it from him, sulking as he thrust it under his tongue and closed his lips around it. Edward rolled away from him and sat up. Jacob's arm flew back to his side so fast that Edward couldn't help but laugh. Embarrassment made Jacob's heart rate shoot up and Edward held up his hands apologetically. His face had flushed, and the vampire mentally took half a degree off his temperature.

The thermometer beeped and Edward gently tugged it out of the wolf's mouth. Jacob seemed strangely reluctant to let it go, perhaps dreading the result.

"One ten point four. I'm going to wait in the living room for twenty minutes. Stay in the one tens and I'll leave after that." He said it like it was a reward for something Jacob had conscious control over.

Edward patted his head and walked out, not bothering to dress. Behind him, he could hear Jacob cussing under his breath and smirked, amused enough not to be irritated by the blankness he still got from the other's thoughts.

Emily had disappeared by the time Edward made it to the living room. Leah was still on the couch, curled up against one arm, her expression maddeningly smug. Sam looked like he was ready to bolt as soon as Edward's eyes landed on him.

"You're not going anywhere," Edward warned him, putting his still mostly-naked body between the pack alpha and the door.

Sam's eyes narrowed. "This is not your territory, Cullen. You don't give orders here." There was a heaviness in his voice, a warning in his eyes.

Edward ignored it. "You know what's going on here, and you're going to tell me. You owe me that much for my time."

Even though the pack leader was taller and broader than he was, Edward still crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes, prepared for a confrontation if it came down to it. He even managed to make it look like he was looking _down_ at the alpha, rather than up.

"I. Can't," Sam snarled, annoyance and irritation breaking through his normally serene personality.

"Can't or won't?"

"_Can't_."

"You're the pack leader. No one can lay edicts on you," Edward snarled. He didn't have a whole wealth of knowledge on pack behavior, but he knew enough about real wolves and had been in the packs' head enough to know the basics.

"It is not mine to tell," Sam admitted, eyes not turning away from Edward's. The vampire suddenly realized that Sam was treating him with the coiled wariness of one alpha to another. His mind drifted briefly and he wondered if he was being granted the position of alpha of the Cullen 'pack' or if he was being treated that way on default, because he was alone. Carlisle was certainly the leader of the family, but comparing personality to personality, he didn't fit into a wolf's version of an alpha.

Edward wondered that he did, but shook his head to clear the stray thought.

"You may be hiding your thoughts from me, but I can tell you're concerned. And we both know Jacob isn't going to tell me."

The alpha's expression remained stubborn, his lips held in a tight line.

"At least tell me if there's something more that could be done... if I knew." He narrowed his eyes, watching Sam carefully. There was a hesitation in his body, a slight turning of the shoulders, a minute furrowing in the eyebrow that gave his answer away even before he nodded.

"Then tell me," Edward growled quietly. He stepped up close to the pack leader, far closer than he wanted to be and far closer than _Sam_ wanted him to be. "Just think it," he implored, his voice so low that Sam barely heard it, even with only inches separating them.

_You couldn't understand. _Sam's mental voice had a strange accent to Edward that he found not entirely unpleasant. More accustomed to communicating telepathically than the average person, his voice was quiet and smooth.

"Try me," Edward whispered, eyes narrowed.

"Oh this is so stupid!" Leah crowed suddenly.

Sam's eyes snapped away from Edward and narrowed. "Leah..." he growled warningly.

"He imprinted on you, idiot!" she said in a rush, her lips curled in a vicious smile.

A few very important, very fast things happened before Edward had even processed Leah's announcement. Sam stepped around him and was across the room in the blink of an eye, lifting Leah off the couch by her throat. His teeth were bared and he snarled. The sound was so inherently threatening that even Edward felt a little shudder of instinctual fear pass over him.

At nearly the same moment, an enraged noise issued from Jacob's bedroom and then the window slammed open and didn't close. Billy, called out of his room by the sound, wheeled into sight moments later, his eyes wide as he took in the scene. He was frozen in the hallway at Jacob's bedroom door.

"You were commanded not to speak of this," Sam snarled. His upper lip was pulled away from his teeth, showing both canines. Leah whimpered, hanging limply from his large hand. The man was trembling faintly, body aching to change, to settle this very human problem in the much easier method of the wolf.

He dropped her suddenly and she tumbled backwards off the couch, clutching at her throat. A bruise was blossoming around her throat, but healing just as quickly. She glared balefully at her alpha, but when he turned his furious eyes on her, she looked away, bowing her head.

"I will deal with you in a moment. Go to your brother and _stay_ with him!"

She scrambled to her feet and inched towards the door, looking fearfully between her leader and the vampire that was still blocking the exit.

"Do _not_ disobey me, Leah..." Sam snarled warningly. He glanced at Edward and made a jerking motion with his head. Edward obligingly slid out of the way and Leah darted out the door.

"How was she able to disobey you, if it had been a command?" Edward asked quietly when several seconds of silence had passed. His mind was still shying away from the issue at hand, and in sheer desperation had latched onto something academic and withdrawn.

"That is none of your concern!" Sam snapped. He closed his eyes and took several seconds to breathe loudly through his nose. "There. You know," he ground out finally.

"Why is it making him sick?" Edward's brow pulled together. He remembered being told -intentionally or otherwise, he couldn't remember- that there was no compulsion on the imprinted's part. That nothing _had_ to come of it.

"We don't know. This is supposed to be something that's _rare_. Now half of my pack is imprinted!" Sam turned finally to face him. His expression was clearing. Not, Edward guessed, because the wolf was calming down as much as he was forcing himself to look that way. "We know just about as much about imprinting as you do. The only thing we have been able to guess is that your... hatred of him is doing this." He shrugged his broad shoulders. "Or his refusal to accept you."

"Good to know the feeling is still mutual."

"It's not." Sam's expression looked momentarily tortured. "It's driving all of us mad that he doesn't hate you unless he's paying attention. And more than anything, he hates the imprinting... not you. Never you again. You're all he thinks about."

Edward hesitated, mind still in a strange shock. "What now?"

"We can only be what our imprinted needs us to be. Tell him to be your friend and be done with it."

Edward laughed shortly. "I may as well tell him to be my enemy! It would be kinder." Edward suddenly felt very naked beneath the wolf's shrewed gaze and looked up irritably to meet his eyes. Beneath the calm exterior, Sam was furious and his eyes flashed and sparked with it.

"If you're going to do that, just cut his heart out now and be done with it!"

"A little dramatic, don't you think?"

"A better death than the inevitable! He will never be able to hurt you again, Edward Cullen. Not even if he wanted to. Some enemy that would be: unable to fight back when your animosity finally turned deadly. And in the meantime, he suffers; commanded to be your enemy, and unable to hate you."

"And if I don't _want_ him as a friend?"  
"By the spirits!" Sam erupted. He took a slow breath, modulating his voice carefully. "You will never find a more loyal, loving, supportive friend in all of your damned unnatural life!"

Edward glared and finally turned on Billy. "Is this what you want for your son? A vampire for a best buddy?" He sneered, displaying his teeth as a pointed reminder.

Billy's jaw tightened and he looked back at Edward with a firm expression. "I do _not_ want to see my son hurting anymore. Bella has already done enough harm," he added quieter, his eyes turning away.

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He stalked back into Jacob's room and gathered his clothing, cussing violently in the confines of his head the whole time. Without another word, he jumped lightly out the window and followed Jacob's distinctive scent at a run.

X~*~X

Sam nodded briefly to Billy and stripped his shirt, folding it neatly and setting it on the table. His wife would collect it when she returned.

"Go easy on her," Billy said faintly as Sam stepped out his shoes and pants. "We all wanted to say it."

"She did not have Jacob's interests at heart," Sam said tightly. He pulled off his shorts and tied them to the cord tied to his ankle. He no longer had any modesty around Billy and the older man did not seem embarrassed by his nudity. "Only her own vindictiveness."

He pushed the front door open and glanced around briefly, more out of habit than necessity: he would have long heard anyone approaching the house. He phased neatly in the yard and took off at a run. Seth reported immediately that his sister had climbed a tree and was hiding there. Quil and Embry had realized what she had done as soon as she had phased to follow Sam's orders. Both were standing guard at the bottom of the tree, and clearly agitated. Paul was on his way, but the others were not phased.

Sam tipped his head back and howled a long command, barely breaking stride to do so. The rest of the pack would be assembled shortly. Only Jacob would be exempt from the meeting. Not that he was in any condition to respond to the summons anyways; he was half-crazed with anger and his mind was filled with nothing but scenarios for Edward's rejection.

He turned his attention to Leah. All packs had a member that stayed on the fringe. One member who wasn't content with the hierarchy and tried to disrupt the pack community. This member barely remained in the alpha's control and was usually tolerated only so long as their dissension didn't harm the pack. Leah would have to be reigned in... He forced himself not to think the 'or else,' knowing his pack was listening.

Sam slowed to a trot as he approached the rest of his pack. Everyone had arrived with the exception of Jacob and Jared, who was on his way. He waited out of the way while the rest of the pack paced around the tree, their minds an indecipherable wave of agitation. Jared arrived, slightly winded and Sam stepped out of the cover of the trees, quieting the pack immediately. They formed a rough circle and sat slowly, tails and ears flicking in silent continuations of their previous ruckus.

Measuring his step carefully, Sam approached the tree and looked up. Leah was well up among the boughs, her body half hidden by the tree's wide trunk. Sam could tell she was frightened and had every cause to be. He was barely holding his temper in check as it was. The part of him that was human urged compassion. But Sam was far more wolf than he was human, and too much the alpha to let such a breach of discipline go.

He barked sharply, his upper lip pulling away from his teeth, a low growl following on the wake of his bark. Leah winced, pulling her legs up as she tried to press herself closer to the tree. He barked again, louder this time, letting the warning hang in the air.

_Come down now, _was clearly conveyed, even without the benefit of being able to speak to her. _It will be much worse if you don't._

Leah slid slowly off the branch and climbed down, her entire body shaking. Nervousness and fright rolled away from her like a cloud. As soon as her feet hit the ground, he snapped at her, pressing his chest forward and raising his head. Even standing on her human legs, Sam was taller than she was and she shrank away from him.

He snapped at her again, his teeth coming perilously close to her face, breath hot on her skin. She was terrified, but slowly dropped to the ground. She was shaking too badly to bother taking her shorts and sports bra off and they tore noisily as she phased.

Sam relaxed marginally when she was in her wolf form. She pressed her belly to the ground and inched forward, whimpering. Her ears were turned sideways and her mouth was parted, tongue extending slightly past her teeth. He turned his head away from her when she cautiously rose and tried to lick his jaw. She whined again, tail flicking briefly. Sam took a slow step away from her and she crawled after him, whimpering again, seeking forgiveness.

He bared his teeth. Snarled.

Leah froze, eyes switching back and forth, looking to the rest of the pack for support. She would find none, he knew. With a soft wuff, she rolled onto her back, tail tucked securely against the snowy white fur of her stomach.

Sam pounced. She yelped as his teeth closed on her throat, making a great racket when he shook slightly. He wasn't harming her, he knew. His teeth wouldn't even puncture her thick hide. The humiliation was more what he was after than actually harming her, but if beating humility into her was what it was going to take, that's what she'd get. He was done letting his guilt gentle his hand towards her.

She continued yapping until he growled, low in his chest. The vibration of that sound worked up through his teeth and shook her body. She fell silent, trembling.

Finally, he let her go. She rolled slowly onto her belly again and crept forward. This time he didn't step away, but let her lave his throat and jaw with her apology. He twisted his head and bit her nose securely, asserting his dominance yet again. She remained still in his mouth and then resumed apologizing as soon as he released her. He finally had to tell her off with a sharp bark. She backed away slowly, shoulders hunched and tail tucked between her legs.

Sam relaxed then, and so did the rest of the pack. Chatter picked up slowly, a quiet whisper passing around the circle.

_Edward Cullen has been made aware of Jacob's imprinting. _He waited until there was silence again. _We will not discuss how he came to this awareness again._ He pinned each with a pointed stare. Leah wouldn't meet his eye. _I am not sure what Edward Cullen's reaction will be to this. We will support our brother regardless of the outcome, as we have done._

He paused to make sure everyone was paying attention. _We will not retaliate against Edward Cullen if things do not go the way we would like._

There was some bristling, teeth bared as an uproarious clamor rose in the pack mind. Sam repeated himself firmly, his voice deepening to the tenor they couldn't disobey.

Quil howled softly. His voice was thin and sweetly pitched. Embry joined him and slowly the call was picked up by the rest of the pack, letting their brother know they were there for him.


	7. Be Thee Friend or Foe

FIVE:: Be Thee Friend or Foe

X~*~X

Edward Cullen was not having a Good Day. Chasing Jacob Black through miles of forest with the rain hitting him in the eyes was not making his day Better.

Distraught, Jacob was making no attempt to be stealthy; he wasn't trying to evade Edward, he was trying to outrun him. If the mangy mutt would stop for two seconds, Edward would tell him how ridiculous such a concept was: he could run for weeks without tiring, and Jacob was running himself out quickly.

Finally losing his well-stretched patience, Edward shot into the trees and jumped from bough to bough, quickly getting ahead of the frantic wolf. He crashed to the forest floor directly in Jacob's path and held out one hand.

"Stop!" he commanded sharply, his voice thick with authority.

Jacob came to a skidding halt, nearly running into him with the force of his momentum. Edward wrapped his arms around the wolf before Jacob could recover his senses and take off again.

"Shift!" His voice had lost none of its command, but he did his best to gentle the tone, hoping to put the wolf to ease, at least a little.

It seemed, however, that he would have no such luck and Jacob stubbornly refused. He bared his teeth and growled, fighting against Edward's grasp, but the vampire had managed to get his hands locked and he wasn't going anywhere.

"Fine," he said as mildly as he could manage. "We'll wait."

And they did wait. Alternately snarling and whining, Jacob mulishly refused to shift out and Edward couldn't wade through his mess of a mind to find some way to console him.

"You are sick and have obviously lost your mind, Jacob Black!" Edward said finally, keeping his tone tightly under control. "I am not going to hurt you. Shift out so I can speak _with _rather than _at_ you!"

Another few minutes of shuffling and whimpering passed before Jacob finally did as Edward asked. Edward suddenly found himself with an armful of a very warm, very naked Jacob Black and quickly tightened his hold to accommodate Jacob's more slender human figure. He shifted slightly, moving to place his back to a sheltering tree.

"Let me go!" Jacob demanded, thrashing against him.

Edward held on, though the other man's height made the position awkward. The wolf pushed against him, but he may as well have been shoving a statue for all that Edward budged.

"Goddamnit! Let me _go!_"

"_NO!_ Stop squirming and listen to me for a second you mule-headed idiot!" Insulting him was probably not the best way to get a positive result, but Jacob did still. His body shook though, and Edward mentally prepared himself for the man to shift again, right in his arms. It was going to hurt...

"Speak," Jacob ground out finally.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Edward asked, scrambling to get his head back in place. He had been so focused on _catching_ Jacob that he hadn't thought about exactly what he would say when he finally had him.

"I wonder," Jacob snarled nastily.

"You could have saved us all a lot of headaches!"

"And Leah could have saved me a lot of heartache if she had just kept her fucking mouth shut, but that didn't stop her, did it?!"

"Do you really think me so cruel, Jacob?"

The question wrong-footed the shifter and he paused, body seeming to freeze as he puzzled the query out. "So... you'll just kill me?" he asked quietly, hopefully. A quick death was the best he had been able to let himself hope for while his mind flew through the various scenarios of Edward's reactions.

"No!"

Jacob winced. Suddenly, he felt very tired. His body seemed to melt into Edward's restraining arms, and he let his head rest on the vampire's shoulder and closed his eyes. "Then yes, I do think you are that cruel." He breathed slowly, taking in as much of the man's scent as he could before the inevitable end.

"Stop being so melodramatic." Edward cautiously loosened his hold so he was less restraining and more cradling. He brought one hand up and grabbed Jacob's chin, forcing his head back so he could see the other man's face. He waited patiently until Jacob's eyes opened. They were dull and his gaze was unfocused. Agonized.

"I bid you be my friend, Jacob Black, and stop this nonsense."

It took several long seconds for Jacob to piece together Edward's words into something that made sense to him. The rain had slowed to a drizzle and the tree had become the biggest source of the kamikaze droplets hitting his upturned face. He blinked as one landed, cold and unwelcome on his cheek.

"What did you say?" he asked finally. His tongue seemed to be having trouble forming the words like he wanted it to.

Edward smiled at him, and the rest of the world could have been on fire for all that Jacob would have noticed or cared, because Edward Cullen was smiling at _him_. A real smile.

"Be my friend, Jacob." His voice was soft, imploring. "I don't want you to hurt anymore."

_I've died._

Edward's head tipped as he caught the thought. Jacob's mind was abruptly as calm as a land-locked lake on a windless day.

_I've died and someone is repaying me for Bella._ It was the only thing he could think of, the only reasonable explanation he could come across that lead to Edward smiling at him. Worried about him. Willing to be his friend.

"No, you haven't, Jacob."

"I love the way you say my name."

Edward smiled again, laughing gently. It was a beautiful sound, like music. Full choirs of angels could not have been more lovely.

"Jacob," he repeated and Jacob's heart soared. "You're not dead."

"Yes," Jacob argued reasonably, "I am. You must have caught me and killed me then... funny, I didn't even feel it...I guess you're really _not_ that cruel."

Edward sighed, amused half smile still spread across his face. "You're having a fever-induced delusion."

_You're beautiful_.

"Thank you, Jacob. Now, let's get you home. I will be even kinder yet and not mention that you said that tomorrow." He stood, gathering Jacob's lengthy body in his arms. The weight was nothing to flinch at, but did he have to be so _long_?

"I _didn't_ say it."

"You're right." He chuckled.

Jacob couldn't tear his gaze away from Edward's face the entire run. It was nothing like running with Bella, who had such a bad case of motion sickness. Jacob was comfortable in his arms, unafraid of the forest and completely confident in Edward's ability to keep them from running into anything.

Edward frowned slightly and tried to figure out if he liked it better this way. He _didn't_ like the road the thought was leading him down, that anything about Jacob Black could be comparable or _better_ than it had been with his beautiful Bella.

He tore his mind forcefully away from the thought and concentrated on the run. The rain had started again by the time he reached the Black house. Billy greeted him casually, as though it was a normal thing for a vampire to walk into his house uninvited, carrying his naked son and dripping rain water all over his carpets. Edward nodded to Billy in passing and carried Jacob through the hallway that was quickly becoming familiar. Sam met him just inside Jacob's tiny room. The three of them filled the room to claustrophobic levels.

"Hi, Sam..." Jacob greeted vaguely, still starring up at Edward. "Did you know that I was dead?" His voice sounded faint and vaguely whimsical.

Sam lifted an eyebrow and looked at Edward questioningly. The vampire shrugged slightly.

"I'm going to put you down. Can you stand up, Jacob?" The werewolf smiled at him, his pleasure seeming to make him glow. He nodded and Edward set him down, keeping a steadying hand on his back until he was sure the shifter wouldn't collapse. Sam wordlessly helped him dry and dress the still very naked wolf and get him into bed.

"Check his temperature," Edward suggested, backing away. He was still dripping wet and didn't want the water - chilled beyond even what the rain clouds could toss - to get on anything more than it had to.

Sam handed him a clean towel and eased past him into the hallway. He returned a moment later with the thermometer and ignored Edward while he convinced Jacob to close his mouth around the small device. Edward idly toweled his hair dry and patted the water from his clothing as well as he could.

"One oh nine point three."

Edward nodded. "Call me if it goes up."

Jacob started half off the bed when Edward turned to leave, his expression suddenly panicked. Bella had looked at him like that a lot. He felt something tighten in his chest and shook the sensation away irritably. Why did he have to keep drawing comparisons were there were none?!

"I will be back to see you tomorrow... friend."

Jacob looked uneasy, brow furrowing in dawning suspicion.

"Get some rest for me, hm?"

The wolf nodded slowly, laying back down and watching Edward leave.

"I'm not really dead, am I, Sam...?" Jacob asked nervously as soon as Edward was out of sight.

The pack leader laughed warmly, his voice like vocal sunshine. "No, Jake."

"Well, shit."

"Get some sleep."

Edward apologized to Billy for the water and mud he had tracked in, but Billy waved him off, offering the vampire a tentative smile. His thoughts rang with his gratitude, but Edward smiled and excused himself before the elder Black could make his throat voice the words. They were all embarrassed enough as it was.

He waited on the porch for Sam, prodding the peeling paint thoughtlessly. The rain was heavy enough that he didn't have to hear what was going on inside if he didn't want to. Consequentially, he didn't.

"Cullen..."

Edward did not turn, but tipped his head slightly to indicate that he was listening.

Sam was quiet for several long seconds. Finally he stepped up so he was shoulder-to-shoulder with the vampire. "Thank you."

Edward shrugged. "Friendship with your pack is important to Carlisle."

Sam winced. _Is that the only reason you did it?_

Edward could tell the thought was specifically directed him. That Sam wanted an answer. But he didn't have one, so he pretended he hadn't heard. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon. Call me if anything happens before then."

With that, he stepped off the porch and started home.

X~*~X

The house was empty but for Carlisle when Edward returned home. Once he was in dry clothing, he sought the older vampire out, knocking politely at his office door. Carlisle called him in with a thought. Music was playing softly and Carlisle was reclined slightly in his office chair, hands crossed over his midsection.

"How is Jacob?" he asked without opening his eyes.

"Better. Where is everyone?" Edward picked up the answer immediately and Carlisle didn't bother to vocalize it. Of everyone, Carlisle understood Edward's ability the best. He was the most comfortable communicating this way and the most coherent. The rest of the family had left for a weekend excursion. They were trying to get Jasper to come out of his depression, and so were hunting his favorite big-game. Polar bear.

Because of work, Carlisle was forced to stay closer to home. He missed most of the hunting trips, only getting to range away from the immediate area when it was sunny. Mostly, he didn't mind.

Edward crossed the room silently and lowered himself to the floor at Carlisle's feet. Without thought, Carlisle reached out and set a hand on his head, fingers carding gently through his still-damp hair.

Things had always been easy like this between the two of them. Edward was his first, and though he would never say it – out loud or even coherently in the safety of his thoughts – he was also his favorite. They had had a decade together, and it had been a good decade.

Things were different then. They still had to be so careful around the humans. America was still largely conservative, mostly Christian and easy to scare. They had been forced to live completely alone for the first few years, secluded in the high mountains. Edward's control had been so shaky. But it was easier for him, like he had told Bella once, because he could hear his potential victims thoughts. Knew their terror. Shared their terror. It made the prospect... unsavory, even in his deepest bloodlust.

Their physical relationship had been a great comfort to them then. Indeed, it was more comfort than passion. Carlisle had been alone for so long and Edward had never felt so alone in his life. Sharing their loneliness had been easy, once Edward jumped the hurdle of the taboo of homosexuality.

Sometimes, though, that very comforting thing had been another mark to him of their alienness. There was nothing about them that the normal human American could or would condone. They couldn't even be normal in their sexuality, for heaven's sake!

Eventually, he had come to the conclusion that his soul was lost anyways. One more sin wouldn't hurt it any further.

The song ended and Edward looked up slowly. Carlisle was still the very picture of masculine beauty, and the fact that he was beautiful didn't lessen his masculinity in any way. He would never be able to keep himself from loving this man, regardless of the relationship they claimed.

Carlisle queried his thoughts gently and Edward leaned into his body, resting his head on Carlisle's knee. The pieces still hadn't quite connected for him, and he needed the physical reassurance. He needed to not be alone.

"Jacob imprinted on me."

Carlisle's fingers paused briefly. He made a soft thinking noise, his fingers seamlessly resuming their comforting motion.

"I hadn't thought of that. Silly."

"Yes you did," Edward accused without heat.

"Very fleetingly. So fleetingly that you didn't even pick it up," Carlisle reminded him, voice light and soothing.

"I told him to be my friend."

"That's very gracious of you, Edward." His thoughts were singing with his pride and Edward felt his heart lift marginally. He still couldn't keep himself from beaming at the slightest sign of Carlisle's approval, even after more than nine decades.

"I imagine I will be smelling like him a lot." He forced himself to laugh as though it were a joke. As though he wasn't worried about how that would affect his relationship with his family. Like always, Carlisle's mind put his fears to ease immediately.

"I don't think it's such a bad thing." Edward closed his eyes and listened to the older man speak. He enjoyed that they could have multiple conversations at once, that he was privy to Carlisle's feelings and the tiny deviations his mind took while he still had the comfort of listening to his silken voice. If he survived another three thousand years, he didn't think he would ever tire of Carlisle's voice, mental or vocal.

"I think a real alliance is very important. And, as I pointed out to myself not so long ago, to forge that alliance some concessions will have to be made on both sides. One of which is that we're going to have to overcome this scent aversion." He smiled, the smile carrying more in his eyes than his lips. When Carlisle got his hands on a cause, the man practically glowed.

"You're right, of course."

"So this works in our favor both ways. The Quileute pack becomes accustomed to our smell through Jacob, and we theirs through you."

"An old-fashioned marriage of convenience?" Edward joked.

"Oh? Has there been something said about marriage?" His eyes twinkled with his mirth even while his expression remained mild and curious. "Alice will be thrilled."

"You can't pull that on me," Edward reminded him with a laugh and Carlisle finally broke into a smile. "One wedding is enough," he added, brow furrowing as reality came back to him.

_Forgive my thoughtlessness._

"Nothing to forgive," Edward assured him. "I can't avoid every mention of her forever, can I?"

Carlisle gently urged him off the floor and Edward slid easily into his lap, tucking his head against Carlisle's neck.

"Things will work out," Carlisle soothed. He turned and kissed Edward's forehead, his cheek, his lips. There hadn't been any heat, anything bitingly sexual about their relationship since Carlisle had looked into Esme's eyes and saw his soul reflected back at him. Carlisle's overwhelming love for Esme had not lessened his love for Edward, it had just taken the frantic energy out of it, redirected it.

Edward kissed him back, relishing the familiarity of it, using it as an anchor to keep him steady in the maelstrom that his life had become. Their embrace remained just south of chaste and they kept each other silent company while the music played and the moon tracked slowly across the sky.

X~*~X

Jacob was not exactly sure what to expect of the day. He had woken up feeling better than he had in months, but that good feeling was tempered with a healthy amount of anxiety. Edward _did_ say he was coming back... right?

Annoyed by his own anxiety, he finally left the house. None of his pack mates seemed willing to have the vampire there without backup, so at least one of his brothers had been there at all times. He had seen nothing of Leah, which was probably for the best. Even though it had turned out okay in the end, he was still so angry with her that he wasn't sure he would be able to hold himself back if he laid eyes on the omega just then.

It might have at least been excusable if she had betrayed his secret out of concern for him. Doubtlessly, there had been some concern involved – it wasn't possible to be that close to another without caring for them – but her overriding purpose had been a sort of twisted payback for what she thought she had been denied with Sam. Somehow it made her feel better that Jacob would receive the same denial.

"You are very contemplative today."

Jacob whirled, glaring automatically. "What are you doing out here?" He couldn't help the automatic surge of suspicion any more than he could fight the far more intense flood of giddy joy.

"I told you I would come back today. Do you remember anything of last night?"

Jacob kept his mind blank, but his cheeks infused immediately with blood, giving him away. Edward laughed quietly, but not unkindly. His eyes danced with his amusement.

"You could have waited at the house," Jacob groused, turning away from him. He felt a strong desire to cross his arms over his chest and stamp his foot, but staunchly resisted.

Edward shrugged, watching Jacob's tense back with a highly amused look. "What would be the point? I knew you weren't there."

Even though Jacob knew Edward was making a logical argument, his heart fluttered a little. Edward wanted to see _him_. Not Sam or Billy or anyone else. Just _him_.

"Billy is going to Charlie's," Edward said after a second of quiet. His voice was very soft, the pain in it as clear to Jacob as if he'd been smacked with it. "He wants you to go with him."

"Maybe not..." Bella was still a hole in his chest, made perversely worse by the way it had been made fuzzy, stopped up, quickly patched over by his imprinting.

"You should go," Edward urged.

Jacob turned to look at him cautiously, and asked, "Why...?"

"Charlie has lost his daughter to all of this... he needs the support."

"And you don't?" Jacob snapped, immediately infuriated and angrier yet that he was upset on _Edward Cullen's_ behalf. "You lost your _wife_!"

"And you lost your best friend, and a loved one," Edward reasoned. He smiled wanly. "We could comfort each other."

Jacob's anger died in his throat. "You're going to come?" He hated it, but knew he would go absolutely anywhere if it meant Edward was going to be there.

"I'll meet you there," Edward promised. He gave the wolf a very slight smile, almost more of a grimace, and then turned and was gone.

Jacob heaved a great sigh and reluctantly turned back to the house, damning Edward Cullen the whole way for making him _want_ to venture to a place that would still smell like _her_, when he was going there for _him_.

_This would all be so much easier if I could just hate you, Edward._


	8. Lie to Me

SIX:: Lie to Me

Billy was overjoyed that he was going along. He talked animately and cheerfully the whole way into Forks, not seeming to mind that his son contributed little besides, "Mmmhm," and, "Sure, sure."

It took Jacob a few seconds to pry his hands off the steering wheel when they stopped in front of Charlie's house. Bella's truck was in the driveway next to the cruiser. Jacob starred at it from the safety of his little rabbit, suddenly intimidated by how large it was.

"Are you stuck, Jacob?" Billy asked teasingly, but his eyes were intense, his expression marred by concern.

Jacob pushed the door open and unfolded himself gingerly, being very careful of where he put his knees. He had far out-grown the small car and unfortunately would have to look into getting a truck sometime. He winced, his thoughts returning back to Bella's truck, and from there to Bella.

He took a steadying breath and retrieved Billy's chair, opening it next to the passenger's door. He pulled the car door open gently, conscious of his strength and his preoccupation, and what preoccupation did to his strength. Billy pulled himself out of the car and settled in his chair.

Charlie was already on the porch by the time they got to the front walk. He smiled warmly enough and called out a greeting. "I didn't know you were going to be joining us, Jacob," he said cautiously as Jacob pushed Billy into the house.

Jacob shrugged and tried to say something comforting, or dismissive. Words failed him, but Charlie seemed to understand and reached up to pat him on the shoulder.

The game started and the minutes stretched. Billy made an admirable effort to carry spirit and the police chief leaned in intently to the game, but Jacob couldn't even remember who was playing. All he could think of was Edward Cullen, who _wasn't_ there, but should have been.

The first quarter passed. The announcers described some play in great detail, their voices typically forceful and excited, serious. Like they were discussing war or politics. Jacob was aware of the weight of depression settling hard on his chest. He was aware of it, and hated it. Because he shouldn't be crushed over Edward Cullen breaking a promise-

He sat up a little straighter at the sound of tires on pavement, the smooth purr of a well-maintained, high-end motor. Modified. Probably illegally modified. His heart was pounding and he experienced a brief horrifying impulse to run for the bathroom mirror to make sure he looked okay.

Step, step, step. He walked so lightly for one so heavy. If he wanted to, he could have been silent. Jacob knew this. But Edward was announcing his presence the same way Jacob himself would have done in a reversed situation.

_Knock, knock_.

Billy turned casually to look at the door, eyes flickering over to Jacob. Charlie glanced up quickly, eyes straying back to the game.

"Do you want me to get that?" Jacob asked finally, keeping his voice casual. He was waiting for the step, step, step of Edward walking away with all the anticipation of a man on death row expecting to hear his jailer's footsteps.

"I'll get it," Charlie said reluctantly, prying himself out of the recliner and hurrying to the door. He pulled the door open like he was expecting to see a Jehovah's Witness. Or a girl scout.

He froze when his eyes met Edward Cullen's dark gaze.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Chief Swan..."

Game forgotten, Charlie stepped away from the door and motioned Edward inside. "You don't need to call me that, son."

Edward nodded mechanically. Jacob was watching him surreptitiously over the back of the couch. Edward looked miserable and it made Jacob's heart ache.

"I see you have company. My apologies..."

"No, no...here... come in the kitchen."

Edward nodded and followed the other man through the short hall into the small kitchen. How many times had he been here with Bella? Watching her cook things that smelled horrible to him, but that Charlie enjoyed? Loving being there, even though the room smelled like fire and death? Hundreds, surely.

He had not been back since the night he and his wife had returned from their honeymoon. He had not seen this man, his father-in-law, since that night. There was unexpectedly little pain. The very fact that he felt so little, hurt more than the memories themselves.

"What can I do for you, son?"

Charlie's mind had always been filled with bitterness, anger, even betrayal when he was around Edward. There was nothing but sympathy now. That hurt too.

"I'm sorry," Edward said finally, his smooth voice filling the silence that had been, for Edward, anything but silent, "That I haven't come down here. I should call more."

"It's alright, Edward." Charlie gestured him to a chair and he sat slowly, turning away from the window. Charlie leaned against the counter and looked at him with his brow furrowed. He looked concerned, but there was pain there too, lingering suspicions.

"What happened?" Charlie asked after yet more silence. His mind was divided. He wanted to know what could have happened to change his daughter from the stubborn girl who was madly in love with this austere boy, to the woman that would leave her new husband for some unknown Italian. But another part of him wasn't sure he could handle it.

"I found some letters," Edward told him, making his voice soft and slow. It was easy, now, to simulate human responses to human stimuli. "I didn't read them all... She met him on the internet. Before she came to Forks." It was the story that Isabella had fabricated, sending them the forged letters, appropriately stamped and dated, just in case.

"I just can't... I can't figure it out. When you left her, she was like a walking zombie. She was hurting, all the time. And then..." _She was so young and infatuated and got scared,_ Charlie's mind finished when his voice failed.

"I haven't figured it out, myself, really..." That much was true at least. Even after the months that separated him from her, from her death, from Isabella's rebirth, he still couldn't quite grasp it.

He remembered the way she had smiled.

_This is the last time I'll be able to do this._ Had she known then? If not consciously, subconsciously? Did she realized that it _was_ the last time she would be able to sit with him and be happy and in love? The last time she would be able to see the sun set in Washington?

_No matter what... I love you_.

He shook his head slowly and looked up, realizing that it had been quiet for sometime and Charlie was giving him a wary, concerned, almost horrified look. He was afraid that Edward would start crying and he wouldn't know what to do.

He forced himself to smile, just enough to put Charlie's fears of tears at bay. "Have you... Does she call you, at all...?"

Charlie shifted, uncrossing his arms and crossing them again. He nodded slowly, brow still furrowed, lips pulled into a disapproving line. "She has a couple of times. Calls her mother sometimes."

"Is she alright?" he asked, not having to fake the trepidation and cursing himself for wanting to know. Bella was not alright! Bella was dead! He didn't care how _Isabella_ was!

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Does she sound happy?" Why couldn't he stop himself from wanting to know? Why?!

Charlie hesitated. Nodded. The little motion of the man's head felt like something sharp and physical. Edward took a slow shaky breath, trying not to pick out the very faint, fast fading scent that was Bella.

"That's good." It wasn't good. It was horrible. It was the worst thing Edward had ever heard in his life with one exception. Only being told that Bella was dead had been worse. "I knew there was a game on today," Edward continued finally, getting to the real reason he had knocked on Chief Swan's door. "I was wondering if you wanted some company..." His eyes darted towards the living room.

"Oh, well... You're welcome to join us. Only..." _Jacob Black is here_. He shifted his weight nervously, not quite sure how to say what he was thinking and everything that went with it. An image of having to haul Edward and Jacob apart flashed through Charlie's mind.

"It is well past time that Jacob Black and I settle our differences," Edward told him, letting the image of fighting with Jacob pass, as satisfying an image as it had been.

Charlie swallowed hard, gaze drifting towards the living room and the sounds of the game. "That's very big of you, son."

"If you don't think they would mind..."

"Not at all, I'm sure." He pushed himself away from the counter and moved back to the living room, leaving Edward to follow him. Doing his best to hide his trepidation, he flopped back into the recliner and scooped his beer up. It was getting warm...

Edward rounded the couch and glanced briefly at the seating arrangement. Too late, Charlie realized that he had taken the only single chair, leaving just the couch available. The couch that Jacob Black was already occupying.

Charlie was just mustering himself to say something casual like, _Here, take this seat. I'm gonna get another beer. Want one?_ But before he could get his vocal chords to work right, Edward had lowered himself to the small couch. Charlie held his breath for a second, expecting some kind of sparks. But Jacob merely stretched out a little, moving so that he was pressed in the far corner, long legs extended and one arm behind the back of the couch. Edward relaxed into his side of the cushion and the sounds of the game filled the strained silence.

How many times had Charlie come home to find Edward, with his impeccable manners, sitting primly on this couch? How many times had he felt a surge of protective irritation run through him?

_Here I was trying to protect Bella from him... who knew _he_ was the one that would need the protection?_

Edward caught the thought and couldn't stop himself from turning slightly to give Charlie a small smile. He hadn't thought that this man would really be any sort of comfort to _him_, but he felt better, sitting between Jacob and Charlie.

"OH! You _dropped_ it!" Billy shouted suddenly, throwing his arms into the air.

All attention was returned to the television.

The rest of the game flew by and Jacob didn't pay attention to a single play. Charlie and Billy got increasingly more animated and loud as the game went on and the beers went away. Charlie spent a lot of time on his feet and Billy almost tipped himself out of his chair twice. Normally, Jacob found their antics worthy of a bit of an eye-roll and some carefully contained laughter. This time though, he was nothing short of pitifully grateful that they were so preoccupied.

Edward kept his eyes on the television and reacted in the right places, always managing to turn his body or bend over at precisely the right time to avoid all of Charlie's enthusiastic high-fives. As a result, Jacob ended up reaching over Edward's body to fill in the missing hand. Each time, he shifted subtly closer to the vampire, and each time Edward pretended not to notice.

By the end of the game, it would have been a simple enough thing to move right into Edward's lap. But he contented himself with being able to feel Edward's addictive chill through their clothing. He pulled himself reluctantly off the couch once the game was over and no longer holding Billy and Charlie's attention. He was loathe to leave the comfortable position, but didn't want Charlie noticing his proximity and getting suspicious.

Edward was appropriately amused and Jacob wished morosely that he felt like hitting the other man's beautiful face. Anger was a much easier emotion to handle.

The four of them milled around a little while longer and then Billy finally slapped his hands on his arm rests and declared, "Best be getting home!" He said his goodbyes, but Edward appeared behind his chair before Jacob could step around the sofa.

Edward said his own goodbyes and turned the chair for the door. He didn't really want to be alone with Charlie in Bella's house. Didn't want to hear the man suggest the thing that was going through his head. _Do you want anything from her room?_

He couldn't stand the thought of walking into that room, unchanged he was sure, and not _feeling_ anything. Jacob followed them uncertainly, not sure what to do with his hands. He finally slipped around Edward and jogged down the stairs, heading for the car. Edward easily and surreptitiously lifted the chair so Billy wasn't jostled as they went down the stairs.

"Thank you for joining us today, Edward," Billy said casually as they rounded the car. Jacob's hand clenched around the door and he flushed bright red as Edward's eyes rose to meet his. His jaw tightened and he looked away. Seemingly oblivious, Billy pulled himself into the car and let Jacob shut the door.

They squared off for a second, Jacob keeping a tight hold on his thoughts and Edward watching his face carefully.

"Thank you, Jacob," Edward said finally, unexpectedly.

Jacob was so startled by the sentiment that he momentarily lost his hold on his thoughts and the whole confused mess spilled out. Edward smiled at him and turned away, heading for his little silver Volvo.

"Don't be such a stranger," Charlie called out from the porch and Edward nodded and waved, climbing into the driver's seat. The engine roared to life and Edward pulled away.

Jacob took a second to calm his furiously pounding heart and then walked around to the other side of the car and carefully climbed in.

It was ten minutes before Billy said anything. "It was nice to have Edward join us," he said finally.

Jacob's hands closed tighter on the steering wheel. A little more pressure and he knew he would break it. "Yeah."

"I know you didn't want him to know," Billy said after another moment's silence. "But I'm not sorry that he does."

"Can we not talk about it?" Jacob asked through clenched teeth.

"Not talking about it is what got us into this mess in the first place," Billy argued.

"I don't want to talk about it." He breathed through his nose, keeping himself calm. Billy couldn't know how conflicted he was.

"_I_ want to talk about it. I want you to know that I am happy with whatever makes you happy. Even if what makes you happy is Edward Cullen. I don't want you to be embarrassed or ashamed-"

"_Please_," Jacob pleaded. His body was starting to shake, heat flushing though him, turning his blood molten. Just another few seconds and the delirious orgasm of the change would break over him. His car wouldn't survive. His father might not either.

"Alright," Billy said, realizing his son's plight. "I just wanted you to know that."

"Thank you," Jacob whispered.

X~X

The passenger side door opened and Emmett's big body appeared in the seat. The door shut quietly and his brother waited, uncommonly still.

"You've been out here for hours," he said finally, his voice soft.

Edward sighed. "Yeah."

"What's going on with you and the wolf?" His eyes were curious, his expression smooth. He reminded himself abruptly that he wasn't supposed to the like the smell of wolf all over his brother and wrinkled his nose.

Edward laughed. "I don't know," he confessed honestly. "Trying to be friends."

"Okay."

"You don't have to pretend to hate the smell for my benefit," Edward continued, looking slyly at the bigger man.

Emmett laughed, his rich voice filling the car pleasantly. "Guess I'm getting used to it. Rose still can't stand it."

"She'll come around."

"Maybe." His fingertips drummed slightly on his thighs and he looked out at the garage. "Are you going to come inside?" He turned back to look at his brother, examining him more closely than Edward would like.

_You don't look so good._

"I'm dead. How good am I supposed to look?"

Emmett laughed again, reaching across the car to set a big hand on Edward's shoulder. He shook his brother a little. "You always were the prettiest of us," he teased, batting his eyelashes.

"I think that distinction _still_ falls to Jasper," Edward argued.

"Carlisle," Emmett returned with a broad grin.

Edward conceded with a gracious nod and finally pulled his hands away from the steering wheel. "Which puts you at the bottom of the list." He winked at his brother and pushed the door open, stepping out before Emmett could sort through his retorts and pick an appropriate one.

His brother caught up to him at the garage door, catching his wrist. "How are you, really, Edward?"

Because of his size, Emmett's mind was often underestimated. He used it to his advantage, even managing to get Edward comfortable with his seeming lack of observation. But times like this reminded Edward that his brother was uncommonly observant, just a little more circumspect about sharing his observations. He was also the best out of his entire family at shielding his thoughts with the sole exception of Alice.

"Not well," Edward admitted, taking a slow breath. To keep himself calm, he sorted through a list of everything he could detect. The scents of the different cars, the mud on Emmett's tires, the new motor oil in Rosalie's convertible.

Unexpectedly, Emmett tightened his hold on Edward's arm and dragged him off the steps and against his massive chest. "Maybe I can't read minds," he said quietly. "But you can talk to me, if you want."

Edward slowly wrapped his arms around Emmett's waist and squeezed tightly before pulling away. He smiled briefly and then cocked one fist back and hit the bigger vampire square in the gut. Emmett backpedaled, blinking at the unexpected assault. His mind quickly reoriented to the change in the atmosphere and he grinned wolfishly.

"I'll give you two seconds," he said, teeth flashing in the fluorescent lights. His eyes were predatory, his body coiled for the strike.

Edward needed no more warning than that and was through the garage door in a flash and back out the front door a breath later. Emmett came bounding joyously after him, quiet as a hippopotamus in heels and a tutu.

Edward took immediately to the trees, knowing from experience how much it was likely to hurt if Emmett caught him in the open. Emmett thundered after him, surprisingly fast for all his bulk. But Edward was faster. He laughed as he kept easily ahead of his brother, ducking around trees and through dense undergrowth as they weaved their way north.

Suddenly, Edward shot up into the sheltering boughs of a pine tree and reversed his momentum, dropping down behind the bigger vampire. Emmett darted sideways, neatly avoiding him and they ran in a loose circle, hunter and hunted no longer clearly defined. More agile than the massive Emmett, Edward broke the circle and cut sideways, body twisting midair so his feet met solidly with Emmett's chest and sent him flying.

Catlike, Edward twisted just in time to land on the ground in a crouch. He pushed himself off the ground hard as Emmett righted himself and came charging back, every bit like one of the bears he loved to hunt. Edward grinned when he realized he would sail clean over Emmett's head. But with a grin of his own, Emmett threw his upper body backwards, feet sliding out from under him. He reached up and caught Edward's leg and brought him back to the ground with a crash.

They landed in a heap, leaves and dirt pilled around them like a miniature crater. Emmett reached up and grabbed Edward's other leg before the smaller vampire could get a hold of himself. He yanked hard, dragging Edward down so he could roll on top of him.

"I win," he crowed with a victorious grin.

Edward laughed, arms spreading wide in defeat. Emmett rolled off of him and they lay shoulder-to-shoulder in the semi-darkness of a full moon.

"You okay with what's goin' on with that wolf?" Emmett asked, not turning to look at him.

Edward considered the question for a long moment. "Yeah."

"Alright."

They were quiet after that, and stayed on the forest floor until the sun rose overhead.


	9. Mating Cycles of Bears

SEVEN:: Mating Cycles of Bears

Five days passed and Jacob hadn't seen or heard from Edward. He didn't feel like he was slipping back into illness, but his body felt coiled and he couldn't sit still. Waiting. Jared was sitting next to him on the couch and, like all of his brothers, acted like Jacob was ready to break apart right in front of him. It was starting to get on Jacob's nerves.

More than starting, he was ready to break one of _them_.

"I'm leaving!" Jacob declared finally, jumping to his feet. Jared stood hastily to follow, but Jacob pushed him back down none too gently. "Stay!" he barked. "Better yet... go find Kim or something!" He stormed out of the house, shoulders bunched up.

_I'm not going to sit around like a _girl_ and wait by the phone_, he told himself, temper rising quickly. He was going to find some way to break himself of this Edward addiction! His entire universe had narrowed so there was only room for Edward. Or maybe Edward had just swollen so that he had pushed everything out. Either way, it wasn't healthy and Jacob wasn't happy.

He was going to see Edward on _his_ terms, and when they were apart, he was damn well going to stop sulking! Sam didn't act like a teenage girl when he was away from Emily, did he? Okay, so he was never really away from Emily, but damnit, there had to be some way he could amputate Edward Cullen from his mind!

Jacob quickly stripped and tied his shorts to his leg, phasing even before he had taken his hands away from the tie. He wished they could come up with a better way to carry their clothing. His wolf leg was smaller than his human leg and the tie was always loose when he phased, no matter how tight he pulled it before hand.

_We'll get right on that, your majesty_, Paul said, his mental voice intruding on Jacob's consciousness.

_Fuck off, Paul,_ Jacob snarled, but without much heat. Paul was one of the few that didn't treat him like something that was suddenly weak. About to shatter.

_Anytime, man._

_ Really, shut up._

Paul's mental presence was amused, Jacob's exasperated.

_Going off to see your boyfriend?_ Paul asked, his sly teasing voice intruding after several minutes of quiet.

_I'll be coming over there to take your head off if you don't shut up! _

Paul laughed, still infuriatingly calm. Jacob wondered briefly why _he_ wasn't all the sudden the picture of calm certainty.

_Because you're fighting it,_ Paul said reasonably. A yawn washed through the pack mind. He was unconcerned of the answer, spoke it like it was a well-known fact.

Jacob managed to keep from saying something snide in return only because he was looking at the Cullen house through the trees. He froze, suddenly uncertain and took a half-step backwards.

_Stop being such a coward. Just go see him._

With a very vocal growl, Jacob phased out of his wolf form and stood up slowly. His leg throbbed faintly from the pressure of the cord, reminding him that he was standing outside Edward's house naked. Flushing despite himself, he quickly loosened the cord and pulled his shorts on. He tried to gather up the indignation he had felt when he left the house, but found it had disappeared behind a curtain of nameless nervousness.

He approached slowly, drawn irresistibly to the house. No, to the person he knew was inside. Edward appeared well before he made it to the door. The man waited for him at the top of the stairs, calm and annoyingly confident

"Hello, Jacob," he greeted warmly enough. Was there a note of superiority in his tone? Edward shrugged, smirking. "Not intentionally, I assure you."

Jacob flushed and got a reign on his thoughts.

Edward frowned and said softly, "I wish you wouldn't do that."

"Do what?"

"Hide from me like that."

Jacob's heart skipped a beat and he struggled with a warring sense of irritation at being told what to do and elation at the words themselves.

"Was there something you wanted, Jacob?" Edward prompted gently.

"I..." He grasped for something, anything that sounded justified beyond _I just wanted to see you_.

Edward heard the confession, but kept his face carefully blank. Jacob was having plenty enough trouble coming to grips with things, and he really didn't like it when the other man's head was suddenly blank.

The door opened before Jacob could think of anything and Emmett appeared, towing Jasper behind him. He paused briefly, looking between Edward and Jacob.

"You ready?" he asked his brother, though his eyes stayed on Jacob.

Edward nodded and Jacob's brow creased. He felt himself deflating a little as he realized that Edward was leaving somewhere.

"My brothers and I are going hunting for a week," Edward explained.

That was why he smelled off... his eyes were dark. He was thirsty. Jacob nodded slightly and turned to leave. He could live without Edward for another few days.

Edward sighed softly. "You could come with us," he invited. Jacob turned back around to look up at him. "If you think you can keep up... and stomach it." He hadn't missed the brief thought of unease that had passed through Jacob's mind at the thought of the vampires feeding.

Jacob bristled slightly. "I've hunted before." He narrowed his eyes and concentrated specifically on his brief feral stint. The thrill of chasing down the pack of caribou. Pouncing and dragging a buck down. Tearing his soft throat open.

Edward laughed, holding his hands up to stem the tide. "Alright, alright. Would you like to come, then?"

Jacob's mind sang with an enthusiastic yes, but he merely shrugged and nodded. "Sure, I guess."

Edward's head cocked slightly and then his eyebrow hiked. He gave his brother a curious look and then shrugged one shoulder and turned his dark eyes back to Jacob. "Why don't you see if Seth would like to come. Maybe Sam as well? Round the hunting party out?"

Jacob gave Emmett a curious look. The big vampire didn't seem to realize he was being scrutinized, so Jacob transferred his gaze from Emmett to the ghost standing half behind him. Even for a vampire, Jasper lacked color. His gaze was dull and unfocused where it had always been sharp and half-crazed before. He seemed completely unaware of his surroundings.

He considered the vampire carefully and then turned away and jogged back into the forest. Leah was the only one phased and Jacob whined in irritation. She flinched away from his negative emotion and waited quietly for his message. He hesitated, the strange tenor of her mind making him uneasy.

_Are you near Seth or Sam?_

_Sam will be on patrol soon. I don't know where Seth is. _

Jacob was just considering asking her to go after one of them when their pack alpha seamlessly entered the pack mind.

_Go home, Leah._

Leah wordlessly shifted out and disappeared.

_Is she okay...?_ Jacob asked reluctantly.

_She's waking up. She wasn't really integrated into the pack before... It never crossed her mind that betraying your secret could have gotten you killed. _

_ Edward would not have killed me!_ Jacob snapped immediately, thoughtlessly defending his imprinted against what he saw as an insult. His eyes widened in horror and his mind went blank in the aftermath of his statement.

_She'll come out of it,_ Sam said after a minute, voice carefully neutral. _We'll help her._

_Right... Do you know where Seth is?_

_ At home, probably._

Away from Edward, Jacob suddenly felt awkward suggesting what he was about to suggest. No, he felt _insane_.

_I'm sure he'd love to. I'll pick him up on my way over. _

If wolves could blush, Jacob was fairly sure he would have been crimson. _My mind will never me mine again, will it?_

_ Not a chance. We'll be there in twenty minutes or less, and I'll call Billy and tell him where we're going._

_ ...Thank you._

Jacob phased out before Sam could respond. He was greeted just outside the line of the trees with a pair of pants to the face. He caught them just in time to get another piece of clothing tossed in general direction. Sputtering, Jacob glared at Emmett, who seemed to be very amused.

"What the hell?"

"We're driving," Edward explained hopping lightly off the porch. "You're a little taller and... smaller..." His eyes drifted down to Jacob's waist and lingered for half a second. "Yes, you'll need a belt." He turned around quickly and went back into the house, Emmett starring bemusedly after him. The big vampire hiked his shirt up and looked down at his well-muscled stomach. He glanced from his stomach to Jacob's lean, toned waist and back again.

Jacob watched him uncomfortably, trying to decide if he wanted to cover himself or not. Before he had made a conscious decision on the matter, Emmet shrugged and dropped his shirt. He took two steps forward, grabbed Jacob by the shoulder and hauled him towards the garage.

"Ever hunted a bear?" he asked, voice toned low, conspiratorial.

"No..." Jacob admitted, leaning away from him slightly. Emmett's scent was sharp and tangy and, while not unbearable, it was not pleasant either. Beyond that, his physical proximity felt...wrong. Jacob pulled away from him under the pretext of putting the loose jeans on. Even though they were obviously intended to be worn long on Emmett, they still barely brushed his ankles. He pushed the waistband down further on his hips to lessen the effect and pulled the black tee over his head. Holding the baggy jeans up with one hand, he followed Emmett around the house to the garage.

Edward met them in garage, belt in one hand and bag in another. He tossed Jacob the belt without looking and threw his bag into the back of the SUV. Emmett disappeared from his side to retrieve his brother, still sitting lifelessly on the porch.

Before the silence could become awkward, the sound of tires on gravel turned Jacob's attention to the driveway. Seth hopped out of the car before it had come to a complete stop, a wide grin stretched across his face.

"This is going to be fun!" he declared, nearly colliding with Jacob in his enthusiasm. "What are we hunting?!"

"Bears!" Emmett declared, rounding the house, one hand on Jasper's arm.

"Awesome! Can we eat it?"

Jacob looked at Seth so quickly that he felt his neck crack. Seth grinned back, unrepentant.

"We are not hunting bears," Edward corrected before Emmett could give Seth an excited affirmative.

Emmett groaned. "Why not?!"

"You _know _we have to let their population recover."

"Only the grizzlies," Emmett argued. "Brown bears are still okay!"

"_No_, Emmett." Edward spread a map over the hood of the SUV. "The caribou herds here have had an unusually prosperous year. We're going to thin the herd a bit."

"Uhg. Caribou. I hate caribou," Emmett moaned.

"You just don't like to have to work for your dinner," Edward shot back. He took out a pen and a straight edge and inscribed a set of lines. "The herd ranges wide... could be a fair amount of tracking."

"Sounds fun!" Seth rejoined, bouncing slightly. Sam put a hand on the back of his neck to calm him down.

"Questions?"

"Why not the bears?" Emmett asked again with a forlorn look.

Edward rolled his eyes and folded the map up, hitting the hood once. "And now, we're going to have to figure out seating arrangements..." He looked dubiously at the SUV. "Emmett and Sam up front," he decided, glancing at each of them. "And Jasper in between."

"We could just take separate vehicles," Sam suggested reasonably. He looked pointedly back at his own Jeep.

"Not where we're going. Get in."

Sam was ready to protest. Jacob could see it in his face and Edward could hear it clearly in his thoughts. Edward laughed suddenly.

"The back seat can be pushed back further. Giving Mr. Black more leg room." He raised an eyebrow, seeming to communicate something more with his amused eyes than he was conveying with his amused voice. Sam's eyes narrowed and their gazes locked. The world seemed to freeze for a second while the two squared off. Jacob eyed them suspiciously, wishing he had Edward's particular ability for just that moment.

The tension was interrupted by the driver's side door opening. Emmett was urging a still unresponsive Jasper into the middle seat and Seth was talking animately as he climbed into the back. Sam broke eye contact and yanked the passenger side door open.

"What was that?" Jacob asked, looking at Edward sideways.

Edward blinked, his lips drawing into a tight line as he considered the exchange. "I'm not sure," he admitted. He rolled his shoulders and wouldn't meet Jacob's eye. The vampire pulled the back door open and jumped in lightly, settling himself in the middle of the bench seat, forcing Jacob to follow.

The engine roared to life and Emmett swung the SUV out of the garage, pressing his already tightly squeezed passengers into each other. Jacob reached out automatically to wind his arms around Edward, who had been thrown into his lap. The man was deliciously cool, even through the layers of clothing separating their bodies. Jacob's heart pounded hard in his chest and he was unable to help himself from taking a deep breath of the intoxicating scent that was suddenly all around him.

Why had he ever thought Edward smelled bad? He smelled like.. winter. A fresh snowfall in deep woods. Cool and clean and calming, with a strong rich undercurrent.

"Can I drive?" Seth asked excitedly, breaking through Jacob's Edward-induced coma.

"No."

"Sure!"

Jacob quickly took his hands off of Edward's arms and let the vampire resettle himself in his seat. He could feel the blood pounding through his face and knew Edward had heard everything. He felt like groaning, but it would only give him away further.

"Why can't he drive?" Emmett asked, leaning forward to look at Sam over Jasper.

"He's fourteen!"

"I don't _look_ fourteen," Seth argued.

"That doesn't mean that you're _not_ fourteen. Looking twenty-five won't get you out of hot water when the police officer asks for your license."

"Pfft! Like _we're_ gonna get pulled over!"

Sam glanced at the speedometer. They weren't even out of city limits and already doing eighty. "I wouldn't be so sure of that. I promised your mother I would keep you out of trouble. Don't make me into a liar."

"He_llo_!" Seth reached forward to knock on the top of Sam's head. "Living, breathing cop radar back here." He motioned to Edward. Emmett and Edward both laughed and Seth flushed. "Except... not living..."

"Or breathing," Emmett added in. "Not necessarily."

"Well, yeah, that either. But still. Edward'll tell me if there are any cops!"

"What makes you think that?" Edward asked blandly.

"Aw, come on!" Seth turned imploringly to Edward, hands folded in the universal signature of begging.

"You're not a puppy, Seth," Jacob said, suddenly irritated.

Seth grinned, showing off his teeth. "Wuff!"

Jacob rolled his eyes and Sam twisted slightly to look back at them. "He _is_ kind of a puppy," he said reasonably, making Seth grin. "That doesn't mean you should beg for table scraps!"

"You two are no fun, seriously! What happened to your sense of adventure? Jacob, you're not that much older than me and you've been driving for years!"

Sam sighed, seeing the argument building. He was already looking forward to too many hours spent locked in a confined space with too many vampires. Seth whining the whole way did not seem like an improvement on the situation.

"It's Emmett's vehicle. Ask him."

"_Yes!_ Can I, Emmett?"

Emmett grinned brightly, eyeing the backseat in the rear view mirror. "Sure thing. As long as you keep it over 90 on the highways." He winked at Sam's exasperated expression, grinning broader when Seth pumped his arm victoriously. "You just better make sure you're on Edward's good side."

"Edward... you'd tell me if you heard any cops, right?" He was giving the vampire his best impression of puppy-dog eyes. They had worked well when he looked like a scrawny fourteen year-old. Not as well when he looked like a well-built twenty-five year-old.

"What makes you think I would hear one in time?"

"Oh, come _on_! I will be your slave forever, promise!"

Edward laughed and Jacob barely kept himself from snapping, _That's my job!_ Edward froze, turning to look at Jacob with both eyebrows raised. Jacob covered his face with one hand and turned towards the window. _This is going to be a long week..._

"Alright, I'll tell you when you're coming up on a cop. But once we get into snow country, you're turning it back over to Emmett. Got it?"

"Totally!" Seth beamed excitedly and Emmett took his foot off the accelerator. He let the SUV coast down and pulled over. They were already well out of Fork's territory, as Emmett had hit 110 as soon as they made it to the freeway.

Sam sighed and got out of the car. Seth had once again jumped out of the vehicle before it had even come to a complete stop and Emmett was laughing good naturedly as he rounded the car and climbed into the passenger's seat, Sam squeezing gingerly into the back seat.

"You do know _how_ to drive, right?" Emmett asked finally. Edward's laughter made him groan.

"Piece of cake," Seth promised, rubbing his hands together.

"Alright kid... lets see what kind of cake you are. Ease on to the pavement before you take off, huh?"

The big SUV stalled once before Seth got it moving. He obediently eased back onto the road and then gunned it, whooping as he shifted quickly through the gears.

Edward was again pressed into Jacob's lap and the wolf suddenly wondered how bad it would hurt to hit the ground from a vehicle moving at 100+ miles per hour.

"Probably a lot," Edward whispered, righting himself.

_Kill me now_.


	10. Carnivorous

EIGHT:: Carnivorous

Jacob and Seth were both sleeping by the time Emmett pulled the vehicle off the road. Jasper was still all but dead to the world and Edward had his eyes closed and head tipped up and away from Jacob, who was curled against his side.

"Why didn't you tell us what was going on?" Emmett asked quietly, looking over at Sam. Edward could hear him, of course, but he was used to his brother being able to hear private things. So used to it, in fact, that he didn't generally try to keep things private.

For several minutes there was nothing but the sound of the snow beneath the tires and the soft breathing of the two wolves.

"Jacob asked us not to," Sam murmured. His face was turned towards the window, breath fogging the glass briefly with each exhale.

"Why?"

Sam made a soft sound that Emmett identified as a laugh of sorts. "He had no reason to believe that Edward would respond in any way that was positive."

Emmett nodded slowly. "Guess not."

"And Bella..." Sam's voice trailed off and didn't pick up again. Emmett continued the drive in silence, occasionally glancing at the car's other occupants in the mirror.

~*~

Jacob woke to a blast of cold air and moaned in protest, cuddling closer to his similarly cold, but far better smelling pillow. His eyes snapped open at the first touch of Emmett's hands, but not fast enough. He was torn away from Edward and sent flying into the snow.

"Wakey-wakey sunshine!" Emmett sing-songed, far too cheerful for how cold and dark it was. "Welcome to Alaska!" he boomed.

"You're going to scare our prey off," Edward warned, punching his brother in the side as he climbed out of the vehicle.

"Where the hell are we?" Jacob demanded, rising to his -bare- feet.

"Didn't you hear me? Alaska!" He took a deep breath of the fresh air and gave Jacob an infuriatingly pleased look.

Jacob rolled his eyes, looking around pointedly. They had parked in a copse of trees in an otherwise barren stretch of snow and ice.

Seth had already stripped out of his clothing and was running happy circles in the snow. Before Jacob's incredulous eyes, the younger wolf flopped over and rolled vigorously. Sam laughed, watching his pack mate's antics with an amused, tolerant expression. Jacob sighed.

Emmett slapped his hands together loudly. "Let's get a move on! Jasper! Wake-up! Huuuuntiiing, Jasper. Blood. There ya go..."

Jasper was looking marginally more alert as he looked around with the first signs of curiosity. Edward pulled his pack out of the back of the SUV and closed the vehicle up tightly. He and Emmett pulled a white and green tarp over the vehicle. Seth bounded over to inspect their actions, head cocked and ears flicking in curiosity.

Edward laughed suddenly. "There is not a single person here who doesn't have an excellent sense of direction, Seth. I'm sure we'll be able to find it again."

The wolf barked cheerfully and turned, sprinting back over the snow.

"Boy is going to run himself out before we even _find_ them," Emmett observed, watching the tan wolf run with a fond expression.

"Not very well camouflaged for the snow, is he?" Edward asked, tipping his head slightly to watch him.

"Jacob and I will be worse," Sam pointed out. The pack leader stripped quickly and handed his clothing to Edward, who knelt by his pack to stuff it in. Again, showing a serious lack of modesty, Sam stretched once before dropping to his knees and closing his eyes.

None of the rest of the pack were as natural at shape-shifting as Jacob was. Whereas Jacob took to his wolf form with all the ease of breathing, the rest of them had to concentrate a bit. Sam let the all-consuming heat of the change run through his veins, groaning at the unique combination of pleasure and pain as his wolf was pulled out of his human body. He shook himself, stretching luxuriously, enjoying the freedom and simplicity of his wolf body and mind.

Seeing him shifted, Seth changed direction mid-stride and pounced on him. Sam allowed the play-wrestling for several minutes before pinning the smaller wolf and holding him down while he squirmed and whined.

"Never seen one of them do that," Emmett whispered, watching the two wolves wrestle. Edward had also been watching the change with a reluctantly fascinated eye and admitted that it was something wonderful and strangely beautiful to behold. Unlike Emmett, he had the added benefit of being able to experience some of what the change was like through Sam's eyes.

"Your turn, bud. Chop, chop!" Emmett had turned his attention to Jacob and seemed to have no intention of looking away.

Edward glanced over to Jacob, aware that the other man was examining him and had been keeping his thoughts quiet. He couldn't keep himself from watching as Jacob stripped down and tossed him his clothing. Unlike Sam, for whom changing was a complicated, if amazing experience, Jacob slid into his wolf body so smoothly that it was hard to believe that all humans weren't capable of it.

"Breathtaking," Edward whispered very softly. The copper wolf stretched his long body and trotted up to his pack mates. He gently bit the underside of Sam's chin and his leader responded by nipping his ear. They sat shoulder-to-shoulder and watched Seth playing in the snow drifts.

"Alright, let's go!"

Jasper was again stirred out of his apathy and they took off at a modest jog, Seth running exuberant circles around them as they traveled northwest across the tundra.

~*~

Seth waited impatiently, his mind bouncing with his excitement, even as his body stayed perfectly still in the snow. Fifty yards away from him, Sam and Jacob crouched, immobile and silent in the snow. The vampires waited, crouched and curious a little ways a way.

Seth's ears twitched. He took a bite out of the snow and let it melt on his tongue, muscles tensing even as the liquid slid down his throat. The ground was fairly shaking now with the approach of the herd. A very soft whimper escaped him and he shifted, muscles bunching.

_NOW!_

Sam exploded out of the snow just as the herd approached him. The lead beast screamed in terror and turned away from the massive wolf. He strayed too far east and Jacob was suddenly up and running, snapping at the thin legs of the runners. The herd turned obediently, running straight for the waiting vampires.

_Go, Seth!_

Gleefully, Seth leapt from his hiding place, running straight for rear of the herd. Seeing him coming, the line split and the herd divided into two unequal parts. He snapped his teeth at the new head of this smaller group, herding them towards his pack mates. Sam curved around and appeared suddenly beside him, Jacob sliding in easily on the other side so the herd was kept in tight formation.

Edward waited silently on the top of a snow drift, awed by the cohesion he was experiencing through the pack. He had felt this only once before, when he had seen the whole pack gathered in the clearing. That felt like a lifetime ago, but here was a strong reminder. They ran like clockwork, each responding immediately to the others' positions and thoughts.

"Here they come," Edward said, but he needn't have. Emmett was already tensed for the attack and Jasper looked alive for the first time in weeks.

The reduced herd came thundering between the two large snowdrifts with the wolves snapping at their flanks. Edward took quick stock.

"Run three of the females back to the herd!" he called out. There was a moment's hesitation and then Seth cut into the herd forcing two of the females out of the pack. Emmett leapt, snow flying like a miniature storm in his wake. Close behind, Jasper shot down the slope.

A third female was quickly drawn out and Seth barked as he drove them out of the shallow canyon towards the larger herd, which was just then curving past them. The females made a dash for the herd and Edward turned his attention away from them. Seth was already coming back around.

Edward hit the ground just in time to see Emmett land on the back of a large bearded male and grab its antlers. The beast stumbled beneath him and went down, neck snapped before it had even hit the snow. Edward gave his brother an appreciative grin and turned his attention to his own target.

Jacob could feel the thrill of the chase pouring through him like fire. He and Sam lined up automatically to corner a huge buck against one drift. Sam leapt for its throat and the beast reared, flashing its hooves out like dark streaks of lightening, aiming for the wolf's head. Sam ducked neatly and Jacob shot for the distracted creature's throat.

His teeth found their mark and blood filled his mouth, sweet and coppery, even as the buck screamed and dropped to its knees. It struggled to get up, but Jacob's jaws were locked. Sam pounced on the beast from the side and closed his massive jaws on the caribou's neck. There was an impressive snap and the creature fell still.

Jacob released the dead animal and looked up, surveying the rest of the pack. Seth was weaving around an agitated young buck's flashing hooves. The caribou was probably less than two years old and still very strong, if inexperienced. He and Seth were evenly matched in that, but the wolf's greater speed and agility won out quickly as Seth nimbly dodged a hoof-strike and slid around the buck's flank. The tan wolf took the buck down with a graceful tackle and got his jaws around the thrashing caribou's neck.

Jasper was straddling a still thrashing female, the ground around them turning dark red with the spilled blood, even as the vampire drained her of her life essence. Nearby, Edward was neatly bleeding his own kill. He was cradling her head in a strangely gentle manner while he fed. Emmett, seemingly having no qualms about neatness, was gleefully tearing into his dinner.

_A little disconcerting to watch..._ Sam said quietly.

_Any different than Seth over there?_

Seth was enthusiastically ripping through the caribou's fur and messily pulling out the meat. He glanced up and growled at his packmates before returning his attention to the quandary of stripping his dinner of its hide.

_But they look..._ Sam glanced back at the vampires. Edward had apparently had his fill and was cleaning his face with handfuls of snow.

_Human_? Jacob suggested grimly.

_Interesting double standard,_ Sam agreed with a mental chuckle. He finally turned his attention back to their own buck, considering the best plan of attack.

Jacob laughed, the mental sentiment transforming into a series of quick little wuffs. Sam gave him a withering look and Jacob sat back on his haunches, waiting patiently for his leader to make a choice of meat.

Edward appeared suddenly in his line of sight and he looked the vampire over. He had been successful at keeping himself from worrying -too much- over his imprinted, knowing Edward was more than capable of handling himself. Especially against something relatively harmless like a caribou.

But it was still a relief to see him sated and, more importantly, uninjured.

Edward gently laid his doe at Jacob's feet and walked away without a word. Jacob stared at it, caught between being offended and touched.

_He's sharing his kill_, Seth announced distractedly. _Take it._

Sam agreed with the younger wolf's sentiment. He had plopped down next to the felled buck and was taking his time tearing into the caribou's soft underbelly.

Jacob watched Edward's retreating back and felt a wave of fondness rush over him. _Thank you_, he thought loudly. Edward paused, head turning slightly. He nodded and continued walking. Jacob settled next to the doe and bit into her still warm neck.

~*~

Jacob lifted his nose to the air, an instinctive growl ripping out of his throat before he could even identify the scent.

A pack of wolves. Real ones.

Edward, who had been standing silently at his side, reached down and laid a calming, almost absentminded hand on his head.

"We're done, are we not?" Edward glanced briefly around the group. They were all stretching and ready to head back for the car.

_Yes, but..._

"This is _their_ territory. Consider it a tax." He turned and started moving, Emmett and Jasper following after him immediately.

Seth whined, taking half a step towards the approaching pack.

_No,_ Sam growled. He turned deliberately and trotted off after the vampires. _Come._

Seth huffed and followed obediently. He quickly lost interest in the rival pack and chased half-heartedly after a rabbit. Jacob paused a moment longer, eyeing the remains of their meal. More than enough to feed the small pack. Three males and a female were standing just on the horizon line, eyeing him warily.

_They must know the vampires' scent,_ Jacob realized with a start. _And follow it to their meal._

_ Strange that our mortal enemy is their dear friend, is it not? _ Sam's voice was quiet. Jacob gave him a soft affirmative and then tipped his head back, howling a greeting to the pack. They did not respond and did not move, but Jacob turned and jogged after his pack.

_The Cullens aren't our enemies,_ Seth argued somewhat belatedly, rejoining the pack, the rabbit still alive though no doubt bordering on a heart attack.

Jacob struggled with the sentiment, knowing it was true but at the same time...

_Oh, stop it!_ Seth suddenly checked into his side and they went tumbling into the snow. Ahead of them, Edward stopped and turned around. Emmett and Jasper realized the change within a few seconds and turned as well.

Seth and Jacob were squaring off. The tan wolf was barely more than half the size of his larger brother and had little chance of victory, but was snarling fiercely, his canines exposed. Jacob snapped at him and growled a warning, his tail low and flicking in agitation, ears pressed against his head.

_Both of you, break it up!_ Sam snapped, trying to intervene.

_Not until he stops sulking!_ Seth leapt, going straight for Jacob's throat. Jacob knocked him away with enough force to send him flying through the air. He skidded to a halt, plowing a large furrow in the hard snow.

_You don't know what this is like!_ Jacob's voice, furious, agonized, gave him pause, but not for long. Seth charged at him again, body angling slightly to the larger wolf's side.

_Shit happens and you move on!_ He leapt again.

Jacob turned to meet his attack, but Seth hit a protruding boulder and spring-boarded neatly off of it, landing on the bigger wolf's other side. He darted forward and got his teeth into Jacob's shoulder.

_Now, I'm pissed!_ Jacob turned and grabbed him by the throat, tearing him away and slamming him into the ground. Seth snarled and thrashed, but Jacob held him down securely. Finally, Seth conceded, laying limp beneath his much larger brother.

_It's not like he's being bad to you_, Seth whispered, still held in Jacob's jaw. He was reasonably sure that his brother wouldn't hurt him, but anger was rolling off of Jacob in palpable waves. Anger and hurt and helplessness.

_I _know_ that!_ Jacob released him and turned away.

Realization dawned on the younger wolf much too late and he rolled slowly to his feet. _...I'm sorry_. He approached his brother carefully. Jacob turned away from him twice, but finally allowed the persistent wolf to grab the underside of his chin in the pack sign of affection and obedience. Seth licked his throat twice and Jacob sighed, finally turning to swipe his tongue over the younger wolf's cheek.

_I forgive you. And apologize. Are you hurt?_

Seth took quick stock and shook himself out. There was a fast-fading pain between his shoulders where he had hit the ice, but otherwise he seemed to be in one piece.

_All good._

_If you two are quite done?_ Sam was sitting between Edward and Emmett, Jasper watching the two wolves from behind the alpha. His voice dripped with exasperation and Jacob shook himself out and trotted over to the rest of the group. He nudged his leader's shoulder in playful affection before continuing past him.

Jasper watched him with curious golden eyes and turned to run with him. Jacob mutely allowed the company and the rest of the group picked up after them. He could feel Edward's eyes on him the entire way and clenched his teeth. He broke suddenly into an all-out run, startling Jasper. The vampire grinned and chased after him.

The trip back to the car was going much faster since they were able to take a more-or-less straight line to its location. But they were in no hurry and the wolves were ready to bed down for the night. They caught up to Jacob and Jasper, sitting calmly against a sheltering swell of snow and ice. Jasper was looking at Jacob intently, as though trying to solve him. Jacob was manfully not expressing his irritation at the scrutiny and pretending to find something in the snow very interesting.

A smile cracked over Edward's face as Jasper tentatively reached out and ran a hand through Jacob's frost-coated fur.

"I always wanted a dog," Jasper whispered very quietly.

Jacob bristled, his shoulders hunching up. Before his young second in command could appropriately overcome the shock of the statement and react, Sam installed himself on the vampire's other side. He lay down and nudged Jasper's hand with his nose, setting his giant head in the vampire's lap. Sufficiently distracted from Jacob, Jasper turned his attention to Sam.

Jacob stood and trotted away before the vampire could change his mind. _Now who's the puppy?_ he asked in parting.

_Unlike you, _I_ enjoy being touched._ Sam relaxed into Jasper's cautious petting and all the sentiment he had been successfully holding back flooded into the packmind. He missed Emily... a lot. His depression hit Jacob like a bucket of cold water. _Yes,_ Sam confirmed quietly_ I also act like a teenage girl when I'm separated from my imprinted._

Abruptly, Jacob felt light as air. Happiness rolled down his back, making his hair stand up and his tail start swishing joyously back and forth.

_Good to see that you get enjoyment out of my suffering_, Sam teased.

Jacob bounded across the small valley that made up their campsite and landed next to his leader, sending bits of snow and ice showering over him and Jasper. He yipped playfully, the sound strange coming from the massive wolf. Jasper misunderstood Jacob's action and smiled slowly, reaching out to scratch the top of his head.

Jacob corrected him, pouncing on his alpha. Jasper was caught up in their wrestling and he actually laughed as the three of them rolled through the snow.

~*~

Edward sat a short distance away from the camp. Emmett was watching the wolves' antics with a fond, grateful expression. Jasper's laughter was like a gift after the weeks of dead silence from the vampire.

Seth was seated patiently next to Edward, occasionally biting off mouthfuls of ice.

"Who knew I could be happy seeing one of my brothers rolling around with yours," Edward murmured quietly. Seth's ears turned towards him, even though the wolf didn't move his head.

_We're a pack_, Seth told him matter-of-factly.

Edward understood that the word had somehow reached out effortlessly to cover him and his brothers. He felt a small smile pull at his lips and reached out slowly to set a hand on Seth's shoulder.

"Do you also like being touched?" Edward asked, almost playfully.

Seth turned to give him a wide wolfy grin, liquid golden-brown eyes meeting glimmering topaz.

_You should ask Jacob that._

Jacob made an indignant mental noise. He tried to escape the wrestling match, but Jasper grabbed him and dragged him back down, flipping the tawny wolf onto his back. Jacob squirmed, pushing at the vampire with all four paws until Sam crashed into Jasper's side, knocking the vampire sideways off his packmate. With a great battle-cry, Emmett joined the fray.

"They really are like puppies," Edward told his quiet friend.

Seth wuffed, pitching his voice high and sweet.

Edward laughed, scruffing the wolf playfully. "Go on. You can join them."

The wolf yawned and stretched, body trembling faintly as he extended his tail. He shook himself slightly and set his head down between his paws. _Had enough wrestling for today,_ the wolf told him sleepily.

~*~

They all gratefully climbed out of the cramped SUV, stretching and taking deep breaths of the fresh air.

"That was fun," Emmett said, grinning at Sam who smiled indulgently back. Sam was perfectly playful in his wolf form, but less likely to engage in Emmett's brand of playing outside of it. Seth, however, had no such compunctions, so Emmett gave the boy a little shout of warning and chased after him, tackling him well before the giggling teenager made it to the trees.

Jasper watched their wrestling with mild curiosity. His gaze was already unfocusing again as he withdrew. The tall vampire turned without a word and went back into the house. Alice was waiting for him just inside the door and he compliantly put his arms around her.

"He doesn't have to entertain him like that," Sam said after a moment. The three of them were still watching Emmett and Seth play-fight.

Edward snorted in brief laughter. "Are you kidding? Emmett is getting a kick out of this. He and I don't play much anymore and Jasper..." He tipped his head and looked at Sam speculatively. "How did you manage to get Seth released from school for so long?" he asked abruptly. The thought had occurred to him before, but he hadn't asked. It was easy to forget that Seth was still in school.

A wide grin stretched across the pack leader's face. "I told his mother I was taking him out for a training exercise."

Edward laughed. "Would she approve so much if she knew what the exercise was?"

Sam cocked an eyebrow. He shrugged, though his expression conveyed the answer easily enough, and turned towards his Jeep. "I'm going to call Emily."

And just like that, Jacob found himself alone with his imprinted, a feat he had successfully managed to avoid most of the trip.

"Afraid I'm going to bite you?" Edward asked, a small playful smile pulling at the edges of his lips as he caught the thought. He looked sideways at the wolf.

Jacob shifted somewhat uncomfortably. He didn't want to admit that images of Edward biting him were not as upsetting as they should be, all things considered. "No."

"Thank you for coming with us, Jacob." Edward offered him a smile. "We make a good team."

"Sure, sure."

Edward rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. "You'd best go pry Seth away from Emmett... Sam would like to get back to his mate."

Jacob nodded quickly and took a step forward. He paused, hesitating, his breath drawn to speak. He let it go finally, shaking his head minutely, his thoughts closely guarded. Edward watched him jog towards the still wrestling pair and sighed softly. Maybe telling Jacob to be his friend hadn't been the best idea after all.

He turned and went into the house, heading straight for the shower.


	11. Simple Gestures of Affection

NINE:: Simple Gestures of Affection

Alice curled up against Jasper's chest. He was laying on his back, one arm absently curled around her, the other stretched above his head. His gaze was trained on something she couldn't see, something above and beyond their ceiling.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly.

"I don't want to... do this anymore, Alice..." He turned his head slowly so that he was looking in her direction, but he wasn't seeing her.

Alice's hand clenched slowly into a fist where it rested above his still heart. "Do what, my love?"

"This... this thing we call living."

She sat up quickly and caught his face between her hands. "Please don't say that, love," she pleaded, feeling vulnerable and lost and so alone with his body right beneath her, but his mind thousands of miles away.

Jasper's brow creased. "It's nothing anymore, Alice. Nothing. No color... no smell. It gets worse everyday... becomes less." He raised a hand to touch her face. "I can hardly see you anymore." His voice was a soft whisper, flat, toneless.

Body shaking, pain and rage flowing through her like blood, Alice leaned forward to kiss him hard. He opened his mouth compliantly, but otherwise may have been nothing more than a strange granite sex doll.

It had been almost four months since Isabella's little trick had taken her lover away and hate had slowly been winning over the remnants of her affection for Bella. Now, hate broke through the dam, swollen and angry red.

"We're going to Italy," she said tightly, pushing herself away from the bed. Jasper's arms fell back to the mattress and he didn't respond, gaze returning to that distant point so far above the ceiling. Alice sat hard on the edge of the bed and closed her eyes, concentrating on her future now that the decision had been made.

_Alice dropped to the ground like a stone, clutching her head hard, trying desperately to keep it from splitting open. Jane's pretty smile was vicious in the candlelight and beyond her, the three Volturi brother's watched Alice dispassionately. _

_ On Caius' right side, Isabella stood, face contorted in misery, but lips sealed. _

_ The pain stopped abruptly and Alice took a slow breath and climbed to her feet._

_ "Your lover made his choice. Go home before my affection for your father runs short," Aro suggested. _

_ Alice swallowed hard and turned slowly. Behind her was a heap of black silk and pale white...pale white... _

Alice's eyes shot open, a scream lodged in her throat. Her resolve wavered and the future disappeared. She turned quickly, verifying that Jasper was still whole and _there_. She threw herself back to his chest and trembled while she clutched him.

~*~

Jacob stumbled back from patrol, body aching. He hadn't slept well the night before and it had been three days now since he'd last seen Edward. He felt morose and depressed anytime his imprinted was absent, and yet he couldn't bring himself to do more than stalk the grounds just outside what the pack had identified as Edward's "range" when they were still at war with the Cullens.

Every day that Edward was gone, the ache in his limbs got worse, his dreams more graphic. He was almost afraid to lay down, but his body was demanding the sleep he had been doing his utmost best to deny. He walked into the house like a zombie and closed the door automatically. He heard Billy stir, the way his father always did when he returned from patrol, and he tried to be quiet as he made his way to his room. He collapsed on his bed, pulling his pillow to his chest.

The dream came almost before he'd dropped off into sleep.

He sat beside Edward on the living room couch, pressed closer to the vampire than what would normally be considered polite in a friendly relationship. He could feel Edward's chill like coldfire wherever they touched and he reached out impulsively to touch the other's thigh. When Edward didn't move, he squeezed gently and then spread his fingers and moved his palm slowly down towards his knee over the rough fabric of his jeans.

"You're rather going the wrong way," Edward told him in his quiet voice that made Jacob shiver.

Jacob twisted on the couch and switched hands, running his right hand up Edward's thigh toward what he could now see was an impressive bulge in the other's pants. He bit his lower lip, eyes glued to Edward's lap. He was so fascinated by it that he didn't notice Edward's face getting slowly closer to his own, and was shocked when the vampire's lips suddenly met his. Edward wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him over gently so he was straddling his hips, and that amazing bulge that he had been so fascinated with pressed enticingly against the answering bulge in his own pants – why was he wearing pants again?

Edward's fingers were in his hair and he moaned as they kissed, lips and tongues gliding together in a dance that was gentle and comfortable and so damn easy. One of the vampire's hands left his hair and drifted down his body leaving a trail of shivers down his side. His hand disappeared into Jacob's shirt and spread over his stomach, thumb tracing a small line just under the line of his waistband.

"I want to touch you, Jacob," Edward whispered against his lips and Jacob gasped and bucked upwards.

"Please," he moaned.

"I want to fuck you, Jacob."

"_God-_"

He was yanked, protesting, out of his dream and slammed his fists into either side of his bed with a furious snarl. He'd barely been asleep for an hour and his eyes still ached with the need for rest, but somehow he could only rarely sleep past that point and what had been a guiltily pleasant dream months ago was fast becoming a nightmare that was only banished by Edward's direct intervention. The night after Edward came to see him his nightly wet dream – in whatever manifestation it chose to take- would come to a screaming conclusion, and Jacob would drop off into real slumber. He didn't even mind that he woke up in the morning uncomfortable and sticky.

~*~

Jacob relaxed slowly back into the sofa cushions. He was exhausted; his chest ached and his limbs felt heavy. But he was waiting for Edward, so he was willing to withstand the discomfort.

"You're unhappy."

His eyes turned towards her soft voice. Several weeks had passed since the successful hunt and his brothers had gradually ceased sitting vigil over him. Why Leah was sometimes just _there_, he didn't know and hadn't asked.

"I don't understand why...?"

He combed over her words again, listening for any signs of malice or the smug pettiness that had always colored her voice before. He found none and slowly turned to look at her.

She had changed a lot since her embarrassing punishment. Her face was more serious, her eyes more alert. For the first time, she seemed to be involved with the world beyond her nose.

"Edward comes to see you," she continued softly. "He's your friend, isn't he?"

"Leah... Edward comes to see me exactly every three days. He sits with me for exactly four hours and then leaves. I'm not his friend, I'm his obligation." Jacob took a slow breath. "And for those four hours, I am happier than I think I've ever been." He left out that he also slept better, and why.

He didn't know why he was confessing this to her. Even with her recent changes, she still had a tract record of being untrustworthy with these sorts of things. But her earnest eyes held only confused sympathy.

"And when he leaves, I'm so crushed I could just..." He laughed derisively. "I could just die, right then. But I stay alive because in three days, he'll be back. And I'll be happy for four hours. How is that any way to live?"

"Have you talked to him?"

"What am I supposed to say? Should I do to him what Bella did? _I can't live if you're away from me for even a moment?_" Jacob rolled his eyes and took a shuddery breath. He glanced at the clock. They had never discussed an actual schedule for these "visits," but Edward had been appearing on the porch every three days promptly at three o'clock. He was already an hour late.

Leah reached out hesitantly and touched him on the arm, trying to convey some sort of sympathy or support. Jacob didn't respond and she stood slowly, easing around him and heading for the door.

Jacob waited on the couch for the rest of the day, his face covered with one hand, unwilling to admit that Edward wasn't coming, but all too aware of how heavy his chest felt.

Billy touched his shoulder finally to call him out of his stupor. "It's time for your patrol," his father said quietly. "Would you like to eat before you go?"

Jacob took a slow breath and levered himself off the couch. "No."

Billy took a breath to argue, but Jacob was already out the door.

He stayed out well after Leah had relieved him. She was thankfully quiet and Jacob roamed the territory listlessly, reluctant to return home, even though his body ached with exhaustion. His thoughtless path eventually lead him straight to his own backyard though, so he sighed and padded around the house, ears alert for visitors.

There was a strange tarp-covered shape in the driveway. Jacob froze and eyed it from the shadow of the lean-to. That definitely hadn't been there when he left, but it smelled familiar...

Jacob quickly shifted out and yanked his shorts on. His jeans and tee shirt were still draped over the railing, but he ignored them as he rushed into the house. He already knew who he would find, but froze in the doorway anyways, eyes locked onto the back of Edward's head.

The vampire was sitting calmly at his kitchen table, talking politely with his father and drinking... tea? Or maybe just hot water... Jacob gathered himself and schooled his expression into something more casual before Edward turned around to smile and greet him.

He nodded coolly to the vampire and closed the door, trying not to feel awkward in his shorts as he walked past the table to the kitchen. He was starving.

"You should take him hunting more often," Billy said, jerking his thumb towards the kitchen. "Boy eats like a lion."

Jacob suppressed his juvenile impulse to stick his tongue out at his father, but from Edward's amused expression, he must have let the thought leak through the barriers he had erected all around his mind.

"That's not a bad idea." He smiled at Jacob. "I would suggest taking the whole pack, but I'm reasonably sure the local wildlife population wouldn't survive such a mass hunting expedition."

Jacob pilled leftovers on a plate and threw it into the microwave, keeping his back stubbornly turned to Edward while he warmed his food.

"Go put some clothes on, boy," Billy ordered, twisting in his chair. "Your food will still be here when you get back."

Jacob grumbled under his breath, eyeing the microwave longingly, but he obligingly left the kitchen and headed for his bedroom. When he returned, fully clothed with his face and hands washed, Edward and Billy were planning some kind of joint outing. Jacob suddenly wondered why he had thought leaving the two of them alone had been a good idea.

He retrieved his food from the beeping microwave and took a seat. He managed to keep himself from looking up at Edward and tucked into his meal without a word.

"Don't mind his manners," Billy excused, though his tone was heavy with annoyance. "He didn't eat yesterday."

The weight of Edward's gaze fell on the top of Jacob's head and he wanted to growl at his father for mentioning it. Edward would know why right away, as if he didn't look weak enough in front of the vampire already.

"I have something to show you, when you're done eating." Edward waited calmly for Jacob to look at him before smiling encouragingly.

Luckily, Jacob was almost done and didn't have to try too hard to keep himself from stuffing the remains of his breakfast down his throat. He forced himself to take those last bites slowly, chew, swallow. Edward watched him while he took his plate to the sink and carefully cleaned it off. Just for good measure, he took a glass out and filled it from the tap. He drained the glass and set it on the counter before he turned to meet Edward's inquisitive gaze.

"What did you want to show me?" he asked, successfully maintaining a casual tone.

Edward smiled, eyes dancing in excitement. "Follow me."

Billy wheeled after them, but stayed on the porch when Edward hopped down and walked calmly across the yard to the vaguely recognizable shape beneath the tarp. Edward stopped and gave Jacob an expectant look.

"Well?" he asked when Jacob didn't move. His brows were drawing down slowly, smile faltering as Jacob just stared at the tarp, his jaw clenched.

Jacob had a sudden waking nightmare of pulling that tarp aside and finding Bella's truck under it. He took half a step backwards and Edward frowned more deeply.

"I'm sorry," the vampire said after a second. His expression was puzzled, but closely guarded. Jacob recognized a mask when he saw it and realized that he was managing to hurt Edward, and that Edward couldn't see his thoughts to know what was bothering him.

Jacob took a breath and stepped forward, grabbing a fistful of the canvas tarp. Edward was no longer excited, but Jacob's heart was still pounding. He pulled, dragging the tarp off what he knew to be a truck...

His eyes met the battered gaze of an old Jeep and he froze, relief rushing through him, quickly followed by confusion.

"What is this?"

"Happy birthday," Edward said dully.

"You got me a _Jeep_ for my birthday?" Jacob asked incredulously. He quickly did some math and realized that it _was_ his birthday. And he had forgotten – but Edward hadn't. How did Edward even _know_?

"My apologies. I'll take it back." Edward waved dismissively at the vehicle. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

"Wait." Jacob reached out and caught his wrist, closing the phone and holding Edward's palm around it. "I'm sorry... I just... forgot."

Edward frowned. "Forgot what?" His voice was still cold.

Jacob blushed faintly. "That it was my birthday."

The vampire's eyes narrowed. He didn't appear to be impressed by Jacob's explanation, so the wolf gave him a bright smile and turned back to the old Jeep. "This is... amazing." He reached under the hood and pulled the lock, pushing the hood up to look at the engine. Most of which was missing.

He gave the vampire a confused look.

"I had thought you might enjoy something to work on." Edward paused, expression still closed tightly. "Or that you might like some company doing so."

"You want to build a car with me?" Jacob was in a state of shock.

Edward's lips pursed. "Well, you obviously don't enjoy sitting on the couch and staring at the television for four hours, and you won't come see me. I thought it a... reasonable alternative."

It had begun snowing, fat fluffy flakes falling all around them. Edward was some kind of beautiful, misplaced yard statue and Jacob had never felt so warm in his life. He realized abruptly that he was still keeping his thoughts guarded and hastily took the walls down. Edward blinked as the flood of shock, excitement and joy was released. He gave Jacob a slightly suspicious look.

"You thought I would bring you Bella's truck?" He looked pointedly at the vehicle, which was significantly shorter than Bella's monster Ford.

"Uh... yeah, guess I wasn't really thinking... But this..."

"You like it?"

Jacob smiled brightly. "I can't think of anything better."

Seemingly appeased, Edward melted a little and finally stepped up next to Jacob. The Jeep was lifted a good eight inches, so Edward braced a foot on the front bumper and pulled himself up so he could look down into the engine compartment. "The tires are good- new, I think. And the engine is all top of the line... the parts that are here..." He gave Jacob a sly look. "I was thinking that we could do a little bodywork... maybe push the seats back so you fit into them. It would reduce the cargo space, but..." He shrugged.

"This is perfect!" Jacob could barely think, he was so stunned by the gift. All he wanted to do was drag Edward off the vehicle and kiss him senseless, but he restrained himself to a soft, "Thank you."

Edward smiled and hopped lightly backwards. "What are friends for?"

"Not Jeeps, usually," Jacob returned with a laugh.

"Would you have preferred a Mercedes?" Edward asked blandly.

Jacob choked on a laugh. "Uh... no...thanks."

A strangely charged silence fell over them, neither man looking at the other, but both acutely aware of the other's proximity. "Should we get it back to the shed?" Edward asked finally, breaking the tension.

Jacob nodded quickly. The engine didn't run, but it wasn't an issue for the two men to push the hulk around the house. They pulled the tarp back over the Jeep and Edward gave the shed a dubious look.

"You'll need a bigger garage," he decided.

Jacob was not as bad as Bella when it came to accepting gifts. But he was uncomfortable with the thought that this might become a common thing for Edward. The words _sugar daddy_ floated through his head and he flushed brightly, horrified at himself for even thinking it.

"Why is it that you humans seem to be incapable of accepting simple gestures of affection?" Edward asked, picking up the thought. His voice was a little sharper than the vampire intended, agitation clearly displayed in every syllable and the line between his brows.

Jacob flinched away from the tone, but the word 'affection' sent clouds of butterflies loose in his gut. He blushed again and cleared his throat, shaking his head in mild irritation at his own... simpering. He shuddered faintly and Edward sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Consider it a selfish gesture. _I_ don't want to work outside in the rain. So I will get the supplies and we will build a real garage. Drag your pack along, I'll bring my family and we'll make it a team-building exercise."

Well... that didn't sound like a half-bad idea...

"Glad you approve." Edward smirked at him. "I have to go for now... I would like you to come to my home tonight, if you wouldn't mind."

The vampire had phrased it innocently enough, had even seemed a little uncertain. But Jacob's elation was tempered with a decent amount of suspicion and he hesitated, earning himself another eye-roll.

Edward gave him a long-suffering look and suggested, "Bring Seth."

"It's a school night."

"So? That doesn't stop you from staying out late and leaving whenever you please," Edward pointed out.

Jacob made a show of crossing his arms over his chest and giving Edward an exasperated look. "I graduated over the summer. Dad put me on home school when..." He gestured vaguely to himself.

Edward's almost hostile expression cleared and he gave Jacob a small smile. "I suppose more congratulations are in order then." His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out, flipping it open. He closed it again without answering and gave Jacob a patient look. "So are you coming?"

"What for?"

"The pleasure of my company?" Edward asked, his tone gaining a playful edge, even though his expression remained serious.

Jacob rolled his eyes again, but nodded, agreeing like they had both known he would.

"Good. Seven good for you?"

"Sure."

"See you then. And Jacob?" He paused, already several paces away from the wolf before he turned to look back at him. His expression gentled and his smile was enough to stop Jacob's heart. "Happy birthday."

~*~

Seth was excited. This was nothing new, really, but Jacob found it a little more irritating than usual.

_It's unnatural how much you like rolling around with Emmett_, Jacob thought, not considering how the words would come out. Between their minds, it wasn't like he really _could_ consider how the words would come out, but Seth was suddenly bright with laughter. The purely mental sensation translated into a vocal almost-growl.

_Don't get pissy with me 'cuz I _get_ to roll around with a vampire and you don't!_

_ Shut up!_

_ Can't!_ Seth pointed out. With a sideways look at his friend, he added, _Wouldn't if I could._

_ Figures._

Jacob concentrated on keeping his mind blank. If he were in his human form though, he probably would have blushed, at least a little.

_What do you think we're doing?_ Seth asked excitedly for the dozenth time.

_I don't know_, Jacob told him for the dozenth time.

_Think we get to go hunting again?!_

_ I don't. Know. _

Oblivious -or immune- to Jacob's tone, Seth's mind flitted quickly from one happy scenario to another. Jacob was a little disgruntled by how often a few members of the Cullen family featured in Seth's mind. Playing with Emmett came up a lot. Alice and Jasper appeared too, but Jacob couldn't really see if there was an action attached to those two, just a general feeling of affection.

_Affectionate with vampires_, Jacob moaned with a mental sigh. _What a pair we are. Our granddads would have multiple strokes. _

_ Good thing they're dead then!_

Jacob whined. Did Seth have to be so unnaturally happy about _everything_? The timber of the younger wolf's excitement picked up and Jacob realized that they were closing quickly on the house. He couldn't deny that his own heart was speeding up a little bit, joy rising fast in his chest.

Something struck him as suddenly wrong and he came to an abrupt halt, a growl ripping out of his throat. Instantly alert, Seth froze half a pace later. If Jacob wasn't so intent on his surroundings, he would have been a little impressed with how fast Seth brought himself up, how quickly his overflowing joy became intense concentration.

_Something's not right!_ Jacob's head swiveled quickly from one side to the other. _Something's not right!!_

The course fur at the back of Jacob's neck was standing on end, his back curling up automatically. Everything was too still. Far too still... lifeless. Silent. He took a cautious step towards the house, ears pricked and straining for the slightest noise. Nothing moved inside the much-too-dark house.

Upper lip pulling away from his teeth, Jacob stalked slowly into the clearing. Seth was a smaller, equally tense shape at his flank.

_It smells like the pack. They've been here – recently._

_ No...NononoNO! What have you done?! _ Jacob wasn't sure who he was screaming at, but a sick feeling had uncoiled hot and insistent in his gut. His pack had been here. The vampires' scent was completely subsumed. He couldn't hear even the whisper of Edward's breath. He suddenly started putting things together, the strange tension of the pack, the way they would suddenly think very hard of other things when he phased, or change the conversation when he entered the room. All were things he had noticed over the past weeks, but none were things he had connected.

_NO!!!_ He broke into a run while Seth threw his head back and howled in furious agony. The younger wolf was fast at his heels and together they sprinted across the clearing and vaulted onto the deck. Jacob landed first, heavy body sliding across the smooth planks of the deck and plowing into the door. He barely felt the impact, but the door shattered, splinters of wood exploding into the silent house.

Everything was dark.


	12. Glow in the Dark

TEN:: Glow in the Dark

Panic was crushing everything as Jacob's eyes flew over the much-too-still living room, trying to pick out any signs of his imprinted. Behind him, Seth was whimpering. His nose was stuck to the ground, his tail swishing in agitation, hitting the door frame in a frantic rhythm that exactly matched Jacob's frenzied heartbeat.

Suddenly, lights came up. To Jacob's shocked, desperate eyes, the sun might have just risen in the middle of the Cullen's living room. He yelped in surprise, immediately dropping into a defensive crouch, both shielding Seth and preparing to take a leap at his enemy's throat.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"

Jacob froze. Blood rushed through his head, thumping loudly in his ears. His vision went black. Among the dozen voices was one that was so familiar that he whined in relief. Edward.

_You're not dead. You're not dead. You're not dead. You're not dead. _ It was all he could think, a frantic mantra like a prayer.

Edward's eyes widened as Jacob's walls went crumbling down and the man's feverish mantra hit him. He darted forward, dropping to his knees in front of the still-frozen wolf. He wrapped his arms around Jacob's neck and thoughtlessly petted his head.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I didn't think of how you would perceive this. I'm sorry!" He kept his mouth close to Jacob's ear and whispered to him soothingly. Jacob's body was trembling in his arms and his muscles were still locked tight.

Seth snarled as his own mind finally grasped the situation. His full compliment of too-sharp teeth were displayed prominently, his hackles raised.

_YOU SCARED US!_ he screamed at Edward. He took a snap at the vampire. _Leave him alone!_

The attack on his imprinted finally called Jacob out of his shock and his fur melted away, leaving Edward awkwardly kneeling over him, arms holding onto air. The vampire sat back on his heels and looked at Jacob, face marred by concern.

"How could you?" Jacob asked quietly. His voice was filled with anguish, eyes searching Edward's face in disbelief, fear, and heart-crushing relief so poignant that it made Edward wince.

"I didn't think that you would come to that conclusion. It's just a birthday party, Jacob. Surprise?"

Jacob's gaze darkened. "Asshole." He stood quickly and turned away from the still-kneeling vampire. Edward rose hastily, but didn't follow him as he walked stiffly out the door and around the corner. Seth glared at Edward and wheeled around, trotting after his packmate.

"What happened?" Alice asked finally, obviously puzzled.

"The pack's scent was overriding ours, and we were being so careful to be still. He thought we were dead."

Esme gasped, eyebrows drawing together in sudden pain and concern. She took half a step toward the door, but Carlisle held her back.

Alice's mouth was pulled into a little 'o' of understanding. She sighed heavily. "I really wish I could have _seen_ this," she mourned.

"Jacob thought _we_ had killed you?" Embry asked quietly in the ensuing silence. His voice was soft and filled with disgruntled insult. The whole pack, gathered on Edward and Alice's request, was silent and still. Those, like Embry, who were not imprinted looked hurt by the implication. But the set of Sam's jaw advertised that he understood. His arm was curled protectively around Emily's shoulders and she was clinging to him, the scarred half of her face pressed into his side.

When Jacob and Seth returned, clothed in their shorts, they both looked better. Seth was making a valiant effort to regain his former enthusiasm, and would probably be back to normal by the end of the night. Jacob, obviously embarrassed by his reaction, tried to look calm and nonchalant as he smiled at the gathering.

"I've never had a surprise party," he said, finally looking around the room. It had been decorated simply in streamers. A banner that said _Happy Birthday!_ in a full rainbow-compliment of colors was stretched across the room and balloons floated innocently everywhere.

Alice had obviously been reined in, and he was immediately grateful.

"Sorry," he added. "I should have suspected something like this..." In retrospect, he really _should_ have, and wasn't quite sure why the thought of a birthday party had not occurred to him once on the run over. Since his mother's death, birthdays and holidays hadn't been a big affair. He and his father still celebrated them, but in small ways. Maybe a cake, a few presents, some jokes, but over all it was just another day to mark another year.

"Not to worry," Carlisle soothed, smiling brightly. His smile eased Jacob's tense shoulders a little and the room seemed to relax. Conversation picked up and the celebrants gathered around Jacob to wish him a happy eighteenth. The mood of the party had been dampened, but it picked back up.

Alice grabbed him by the hand and dragged him down the hall. With a sweet smile, she pushed him into the bathroom, where he found a stack of clothing. The door closed firmly, and beyond he could just make out the sounds of Seth being herded up the stairs, presumably to a similar arrangement.

Jacob dressed quickly, immediately noting that the clothing was new and trying not to think about it too much. He did have to admit that it felt nice to be wearing something that _fit_ right and wasn't made to sleep in. The jeans felt like they had been tailored perfectly to his long body and the black silk shirt felt amazingly cool and soft against his skin. He ran his hands slowly down his torso and then shrugged and yanked the socks over his feet.

When he emerged, he found Seth struggling with Alice, who was trying to get him to leave his shirt unbuttoned so the tank beneath was visible. He was whining at her and squirming like the puppy he was, but he didn't look that upset to have the vampire's hands on him. Jacob rolled his eyes once he was past them.

The party had picked up. Music blared out of the speakers, just loud enough to liven the mood, but not so loud as to preclude conversation. The pack was mostly staying together in an isolated corner, but a few were making a brave effort to mingle. Colin and Brady were shoulder-to-shoulder as they faced off with a grinning Emmett just on the edge of what seemed to be wolf territory. Sam and Billy were talking quietly with Carlisle near the sliding door, and Esme and Emily were seated a short ways away from their husbands. Emily seemed comfortable enough, but Esme had that effect on most people. Charlie had arrived while Jacob was getting dressed, and the police chief looked a little uncomfortable in the social setting, but was making an effort to mingle. He still seemed confused as to why the door was missing.

Jacob felt a smile stretch across his face as he took the scene in. His two families, coming together over him. It felt nice. Right.

"I _am_ sorry."

Jacob tipped his head slightly. He had known Edward was behind him, of course. Generally, any time he was within a hundred yards of his imprinted, he knew exactly where Edward was. Unless said imprinted was playing dead. He shrugged, thoughtlessly attempting to erase Edward's guilt. Even if it was earned. "It's alright," he said sincerely. "I'm just..." He exhaled loudly, trying to think of how to phrase what he 'just was.' _Weak_ was true, but painfully difficult to admit. "It's just hard for me to be away from you."

He blushed, wishing fervently he had gone with _weak_.

"I understand. I wish you would take your walls down a little," he added softly. "It's hard for me not to be able to hear you."

Jacob really hated it when Edward turned his words back on him. He glared a little. "You don't need to know my every thought!" he snapped. A large part of him disagreed. He wanted Edward to know _everything_ about him all the time. But the rest of him couldn't wrap itself around the idea. Couldn't help but whisper _what if he hurts you_? Even with as amazingly accommodating as Edward had been, it wasn't too difficult to imagine his reaction if he _really_ knew what Jacob was thinking most of the time.

Edward sighed softly and then brought out a gentle, glowing smile that made Jacob's knees melt a little bit. "Let's not fight tonight," the vampire suggested. "Come on – there's cake. And presents."

Jacob reluctantly let himself be hauled back into the center of attention, taking the teasing with good-natured grace. Embry seemed a little sullen, so Jacob smiled at him and tried to convey his apology with his eyes. Embry seemed uncertain of whether he was going to accept or not, but finally nodded. He returned his friend's smile, and just like that, everything was okay again. Embry had always been like that – easy to offend, but quick to forgive and forget.

Finally, Jacob was pulled insistently to a table laden with brightly colored packages. There were several impeccably wrapped and conspicuously shaped packages from Alice. His suspicions of the thin boxes were proven quickly correct and he found himself looking uncertainly at the mountain of clothing boxes and wondering where he was going to _put_ it all.

Despite his dubious expression, Alice looked jubilant and danced forward to kiss his cheek. "You don't have to open them all," she said, patting him reassuringly.

"Maybe I should leave them here," Jacob suggested hopefully. "Since _here_ is where I _need_ them," he added more quietly, hoping Charlie created his own explanation that had nothing to do with Jacob being naked in the Cullen's front yard.

Alice's smug look almost made him groan aloud. Laughter scattered through the room even before she announced, "That's why you have a dresser full of things upstairs."

His pack was giving him mixed looks of sympathy and mirthful glee. He was going to be teased about this for the rest of his natural life. He could already hear Paul's new line: _Lap-dogs get pwetty pink dwesses when they're good wittle puppies._

"Thanks, Alice..."

She seemed blissfully ignorant of what her gift was going to mean for him once the pack was all shifted again. Then again, maybe this was some obscure revenge for something. He could see it from her...

"Alright, enough of that!" Emmett declared. He dug through the stacks of boxes and pulled out an envelope.

Jacob sighed in relief as he took the card. Trust Emmett to be a _guy_ and get him a _guy's _gift. Sure enough, the cover of the greeting card displayed a woman dressed provocatively in a typical garage jump-suit. Well... half of a typical garage jump-suit. Most of it seemed to have been cut off. He glanced over her briefly, barely noticing her seductive pose and exposed breasts except as a passing observation. He _did_ notice the sleek black Jaguar she was sprawled over. Sliding his thumb into the card, he flipped it open.

The expected cheesy, suggestive line was printed in bold letters on the left-hand side of the card.

**I bet you wish **_**your**_** car purred like this pussy-cat**.

Jacob snorted at it briefly and then frowned. Something he _hadn't_ expected was tucked into the card's fold. He flipped the photograph over and puzzled at it. It seemed to be a picture of random engine parts. Okay, he liked cars. A lot. But how did a photograph of scrap parts qualify as a birthday present?

"Uh... thanks?" He gave Emmett a puzzled look. There was more laughter, Emmett by far the loudest. Quil, who seemed to be in on the joke, was laughing so hard that he couldn't get any intelligible words out. He was just alternately pointing at Jacob and curling over to clutch his knees.

"You're so dense!" Rosalie snapped finally. From the way she was glowering at him, it was obvious that though her name was on the card, she had not been involved in the strange present at all.

"It's your _engine_, dork!" Emmett roared.

Jacob blinked at him. "...What?!"

"Did you not even lift the hood to find out if there _was_ a engine?" Emmett pressed.

"There wasn't a _whole_ one," Jacob growled, growing quickly irritated.

"_Duh_. The parts should get here tomorrow morning."

So much for an unassuming gift. Jacob stared at him gape-jawed which only seemed to make the man laugh harder.

"We have a garage to build first," Edward pointed out, cutting through Emmett's laughter.

Sufficiently distracted, Emmett straightened up and grinned. "Oh, yeah!" He looked ridiculously thrilled at the prospect of manual labor. From the look he gave Edward, Jacob got the impression that there was some kind of wager involved and felt like sighing.

"Thanks, Emmett..." He glanced at the scowling blond. "Rosalie."

"Whatever," Rosalie growled under her breath. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned pointedly in her chair so that she wasn't facing him anymore. Jacob shrugged and carefully put the card back in the envelope, setting it down with as much reverence as if it _actually_ contained the engine to his new Jeep.

After that, every presented gift was greeted with blanket suspicion. His new Jeep seemed to be the theme of the evening; although absent himself, a card from Jasper promised a stereo system, and most of La Push seemed to have pooled funds to present him with two slips of paper that would eventually be paint and upholstery jobs.

"I don't even know what to say..." Jacob stared numbly down at the card. There were at least two dozen names scrawled over every available surface of the nondescript birthday card.

Edward nudged him slightly, smiling. "'Thank you' works," he suggested.

Jacob tossed him a brief glare, and then grinned up at his packmates and friends. "Thanks!" There was the requisite cheering and smiling and the flashes of cameras going off. He gave them cheesy smiles and stuck his tongue out.

After a second or two of mostly patient waiting, Charlie finally shoved a box at him. The thing was suspiciously light. Dinosaurs pranced across the tan paper, making Jacob lift an eyebrow; it looked like Charlie had just glued strips of paper onto the box. Charlie shrugged apologetically, and Jacob laughed. He tore the paper off and opened the lid.

And very quickly closed it again, blushing bright red.

"_CHARLIE_!" His voice was almost a squeak

Charlie and Billy both laughed uproariously, earning them horrified looks. Behind him, Edward joined the laughter, picking the gift out of Jacob's embarrassed thoughts. Jacob tried to stuff the box under the table, but Quil darted forward and snatched it from him. Jacob was on his feet, reaching for it, but Quil lightly tossed it to Embry. Before Jacob could even turn around, Embry reached into the box and yanked out a pair of pink furry handcuffs and a handful of novelty condoms.

Jacob sighed and glared uselessly at the gathered crowd as the laughter swelled. It wasn't that he was really too embarrassed by the gift itself – hey, those things could come in handy one day... right? - it was just the fact that _Charlie_, who Jacob had always thought was a little prudish, had given them to him. And apparently his father was involved. He didn't want to think about where they had gotten them, either.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Give 'em back."

Embry compliantly handed the box back, one handcuff still dangling over the side. "Got a plan for those already?" his friend asked with a sly grin.

"Surerightyoubetcha." Jacob pulled one of the foil packets out and turned it over. "Glow in the dark?" He lifted an eyebrow at Charlie, mouth open to speak. On second thought... "I don't want to know," he decided, a fine shudder passing through him, which only brought on more laughter.

Charlie finally calmed himself enough to fish another box out and hand it over. He patted Jacob companionably on the shoulder and winked. "Couldn't resist, Jake."

"Sure, sure. Kinda wish you had tried a little harder though." He made a suspicious face at the box and transferred his narrow-eyed gaze back to Charlie. The box was much heavier, but Jacob gave it a little shake just to be sure it didn't clink.

Charlie held up his hands innocently. "Legit this time. Promise."

The box was wrapped in the same paper. Jacob eyed the dinosaurs for another moment and then carefully peeled back the paper and pulled the top of the box open. Inside was a black electronic box. Jacob looked at it curiously, pulling it out to inspect it closer.

"Is this a police radar?" he asked, looking up at Charlie in shock.

Charlie shrugged, feigning incomprehension. He winked and Jacob grinned, nodding his thanks. "Just keep the tires on the pavement," the police chief suggested. His face contorted briefly in a wince and Jacob knew he was already regretting his gift a little. Edward confirmed his suspicions with a soft chuckle.

Alice quickly cleared away discarded shreds of wrapping paper and piled his presents into the corner. She skipped gracefully back to him and covered his eyes with both of her tiny, frigid hands. He flinched a little, her sharp scent hitting him full-force; he could almost _taste_ it in the back of his throat. It reminded him of the taste of dishsoap and he concentrated on not breathing too deeply. His eyes were uncovered again and he was momentarily blinded by the bright glow of candles.

Jacob gapped slightly at the cake. It was a three-tiered monstrosity of fluffy white frosting and edible decorations. The lights had been turned off and the candles were like miniature suns in the semi-darkness.

The crowd sang the birthday song in their loudest, most obnoxious voices, and Jacob waited patiently for the smart-ass comments to pass while he carefully shielded his thoughts. Edward frowned slightly, his expression a little disappointed. No one else seemed to notice the silent exchange and then Jacob took a deep breath and blew across the top tier. His wish was undefined, but he knew he wanted more than anything: Edward. Or at least an end to the man's strange torture.

The tiny flames bent under his breath and then winked out, the tips of the wicks glowing orange for a brief moment. Smoke curled in the air, silver and barely visible in the darkness. His eyes lifted and met Edward's across the table while the celebrants cheered. His heightened vision picked out Edward's curious smiling face as easily as if it were daytime. The light of the full moon was making him glow like something divine.

_God, you're beautiful_, he thought, the way he always did when he saw this man. He was grateful his thoughts were still shielded and turned away when the lights went up.

~*~

Charlie left shortly after finishing his cake. Alice sent the entire middle tier home with him, and though he claimed that he would never be able to finish it by himself, he didn't complain about taking it with him either. Billy stayed long enough to wish his son another happy birthday, and then Jacob's presents were hauled out to Sam's Jeep and Sam and Emily drove him home.

In ones and twos the pack drifted out, leaving Jacob and Seth alone with the Cullens. Seth and Emmett were absorbed in the TV, Seth chatting animately about whatever they were watching. Jacob collapsed into a recliner and closed his eyes, still trying very hard not to think of the pain and terror that had washed through him upon finding the house apparently deserted and devoid of the vampires' smell.

"You're locking me out again."

Jacob opened his eyes slowly. Edward was reclining elegantly on the floor, the soles of his expensive Italian shoes almost touching Jacob's chair.

"Habit," Jacob lied, closing his eyes. He quickly turned his thoughts to the forest, thought of nothing but miles and miles of trees, underbrush, soil. He slowly lowered the barrier and continued to concentrate on the trees, the way the rain clung to pine needles, rain drops hitting his face while he was cradled in Edward's arms...

His eyes popped open and Edward chuckled softly, making Jacob groan. The vampire said nothing though and Jacob did not go about the process of shutting himself down.

"How did you learn to do that?" Edward asked finally. "Close yourselves off like that?"

Jacob shrugged. "When we're shifted... there's so little privacy. We do what we can to protect little pieces of our minds." He sighed. "Doesn't work that well when we're phased, but the same techniques work wonders against you." Jacob grinned and winked.

Edward looked like he was going to say something else, but was interrupted by Esme's quiet appearance. She smiled apologetically for interrupting and approached Jacob, a small box held in one hand. She perched on the couch and offered it to the wolf with a sweet smile.

Jacob looked at it curiously, wondering why she hadn't given it to him with the rest of the presents. But he carefully pulled the heavy silver paper off and opened the small box. The perfect face of a silver wolf starred back at him. He gently pulled the heavy ring out and a long, sturdy looking chain came with it.

"This is... really beautiful." He gave Esme a quick look and brought it closer to his face, examining the patiently worked grooves and perfect tigers eye gems set for the eyes. "Did you make this...?" he asked quietly, looking back at her. His fingers ran over the intricate Celtic knot that formed the band.

Esme smiled and reached forward, lightly taking the ring from him. She let the heavy piece drop, holding on to the long chain. Jacob compliantly leaned toward her and she slipped the chain over his head. "In ancient times," she explained in her musical voice, "The wolf was the friend and brother of the warrior. A guardian and kindred spirit." She touched his face and kissed his forehead softly, her icy lips not entirely unpleasant on his skin. Esme was everything a mother should be and he felt a sudden stab of longing as she withdrew. "Happy birthday from Carlisle and I."

"Thank you," he whispered ardently, reaching down to clasp the heavy ring. With the length of the chain, the ring rested between his ribs in the cradle of this solar plexus. But if he shifted it would probably fit snuggly around his neck.

Esme squeezed his hands briefly in hers and then rose fluidly and walked away. Jacob watched her leave, nodding in thanks when his eyes caught Carlisle's. The blond vampire smiled at him and then took Esme's hand and the couple disappeared up the stairs.

Jacob was aware of Edward's scrutiny, but he didn't acknowledge it or try to hide his thoughts from the vampire. He didn't think of his mother often: he was so young when she died that he didn't really have much of a reason to. But he suddenly wished that he had known her. That she was still there to be soft and sweet and caring like Esme.

_Let her know how much I love this_, Jacob thought quietly, knowing that Edward could hear him. The vampire nodded, offering him a small smile.

"Jacob."

He was instantly alert to the far too-sweet tone in Rosalie's voice, but turned casually, smirking in what he hopped was a superior, infuriating way. Her smile didn't falter and she sat elegantly on the arm of his chair. Jacob's lip curled back and his nose wrinkled. He moved minutely away from her, but she didn't seem offended.

With a smile that was far too wide, far too sweet, far too intentionally seductive, Rosalie handed him a thin, paper wrapped box. He weighed it in his hands, judging the insult of just handing it back to her against actually having to see what she thought of as a gift. Any other night, he would probably be happy to start a fight with the blond, but he was a little too relaxed and a little too tired to put much effort into it.

With a resigned mental sigh, he pulled off the garish gold bow and shredded the blue paper. The mahogany box was about three feet square and a few inches thick with an ornate gold clasp and matching hinges. He pulled the little latch and cautiously opened the box.

Laying innocently enough in the velvet lined case was a massive black leather collar with silver studs and dog tags. Jacob took a slow breath and half a second to be furious. But before the snarl could rip out of his throat, another thought occurred to him and a smile stretched slowly across his face.

"Wow! Thanks, Blondie!" He eagerly took the huge collar out and pulled it over his head, flicking the dog tags to make them clink musically against one another. By now, Emmett and Seth's attention had been pulled away from the TV and Alice was peeking at the scene from the kitchen.

"Hey, you think this will be big enough to stay on when I shift?" Jacob asked Edward with mock enthusiasm that sounded real enough. Next to him, Rosalie was seething. Her body shook faintly and he could hear her teeth grinding together.

"Oh, hey!" Jacob snapped his fingers, real enthusiasm drifting into his tone. "Hey, Seth, come look at this!"

Happy to be officially invited into the gathering, Seth leapt over the back of the couch and approached him eagerly. His face clouded with confusion when he noticed the collar. "She got you a … dog collar?"

Emmett exploded in laughter and Edward chuckled.

Jacob grinned, winking at his friend. "And I bet it's big enough to stay there when I shift." He reached down and untied the cord from around his ankle. Rosalie was still shaking in mute fury as Jacob quickly pulled the collar off and lashed his shorts to the inside of it. He grabbed the furious blond by the wrist and hauled her up.

The group followed him curiously out the door, Rosalie stomping after him none too happily. "Don't you rip those jeans until at least tomorrow, Jacob Black!" Alice called after them, her voice chasing them outside. Jacob thrust the collar into Edward's hands and compliantly stripped, hopping briefly on one foot while he peeled the unaccustomed denim off. As a precaution, he slipped Esme's gift off and handed that over as well.

Jumping off the deck, Jacob shifted in mid-air and wheeled around. Edward knelt at the edge of the deck and Jacob remained patiently still while he clasped first the necklace and then collar around his throat. As he had predicted, the chain was snug enough to be secure, but not uncomfortable and the ring rested neatly against the base of his throat, concealed and protected by his thick fur. The collar was a little tight, but did close. It wasn't even that unpleasant, though he could tell it would probably make his neck itch after a while.

Jacob padded up the steps and lifted his head, showing off the collar. He stepped up neatly to Rosalie and, steeling himself for his last triumph of the night, licked her face. She tasted horrendous and he pulled a face, shaking his head distastefully, but if the victory had come at a high price for him, it was worth it. Rosalie shouted in wordless disgust and hissed at him. If she were human, Jacob thought she might have started crying from the rage.

"That was nice of you, Rose," Emmett commented, patting Jacob roughly on the shoulder, his big fingers slipping around the collar to test how tight it was.

Rosalie hissed, stamping her foot hard enough to break the plank. Her leg went right through the deck and she snarled as she pulled herself out and stomped away. "I'm surrounded by _idiots_!" she screamed as she stalked loudly through the house.

Jacob waited with his head cocked for more breaking, but it seemed she was still enough in control that she was going to tear down the house. Pity.

Emmett chuckled under his breath and unclasped the collar. He rolled his eyes and waited for Jacob to shift out. "Nice," he congratulated, winking. Jacob grinned back at him and pulled his pants back on. Seth, who had been snickering quietly, finally broke into laughter.

"I thought you were serious for a second!"

"Who says I'm not?" Jacob asked, keeping his voice neutral. It was a trick he was picking up from Edward, a fact which did not escape the amused vampire.

"Oh, _please_ tell me you're not going to suggest we wear collars?!"

The boy looked so distressed that Jacob caved. Edward tsk'ed quietly, shaking his head. "Too soon," he murmured. Seth seemed to agree, smiling impishly.

"Whatever – no collars, but it did give me another idea." He winked at his young friend and took the collar back, turning it over in his hands to look at the tags.

_Jake_ _Cullen_ had been engraved into one with the Cullen address on the back. Jacob flushed in equal parts embarrassment and strange pleasure when he pulled the next up and realized that it had Edward's name on one side and the vampire's cell number on the back with the words, _If found, return to..._

Edward made a strange shocked noise and grabbed the collar out of Jacob's frozen grasp. He bared his teeth, reading over the diamond-shaped tag himself. When Emmett reached for it, he handed it over fast enough.

"What is it?" Seth asked anxiously.

"Oh, that's low," Emmett agreed, wincing. Jacob snatched the collar back before Seth could get his hands on it. The younger wolf whined pleadingly, turning his attention to Emmett when it became obvious that Jacob wasn't going to tell him.

No such luck though, as Emmett was already halfway up the hall stairs. Seth sighed, giving Edward a questioning look. When the vampire shook his head, Seth reluctantly gave up and went back inside, shoulders bowed a little. He knew he would find out as soon as Jacob shifted anyways, so he wasn't too upset.

"I'm sorry about Rose..." Edward tried. He seemed to be apologizing a lot.

Jacob shook his head, snapping the tags off the collar. He handed the collar back to Edward and stuffed the tags into his pocket. Edward didn't say anything and Jacob didn't try to explain, knowing his thoughts were giving him away anyways. Part of him really liked the idea of being owned by Edward. That part scared him a little, but mostly it made him feel warm. Edward's uneasy expression said that he didn't agree.

"I had my fun, she had hers. All good." He offered the vampire a smile and then looked towards the trees. "Seth and I should get home. He has school tomorrow."

"Would you like me to give you a ride home?" Edward offered quietly.

Wanting to say no, but remembering Alice's order not to tear his clothing, he sighed. The things wouldn't be easy to carry home... maybe he could just leave them here? That would probably constitute him having to find the promised dresser of clothing though... "I guess so," he admitted finally, wanting to put that off as long as he could manage. He leaned back into the house and called for Seth, shouting out a goodbye to Alice.


	13. Hurricanes

ELEVEN:: Hurricanes

In the aftermath of his birthday party, Jacob wasn't exactly sure how to act around Edward. There was something alive and charged between them that felt electric and uncomfortable. Edward feigned ignorance and resumed his pattern of appearing at the house every three days.

Six days after the party, the sound of trucks roused Jacob from his exhausted slumber and he blinked blearily for a moment before he realized that it must be Edward. He wasn't quiet conscious enough to have full control of his mind, so he couldn't stop from jumping up excitedly and running for the door.

He was ankle-deep in snow before he realized a few important things. First of all, he was dressed only his boxers. Secondly, it was still dark. And lastly, the entire Cullen family was gathering in his driveway, with half of his pack close behind. Jacob contemplated running back into the house, but that would only give him away, so he strolled casually up to the huge pickup Emmett was climbing out of. The massive truck had been backed down the steep driveway with Emmett's usual careless precision. He grinned at Jacob while he pulled the ties off his load.

"Working in your underpants today, Jake?" the vampire asked. His eyes had a strange knowing glint that Jacob hopped he was imagining. He shrugged, looking down like he hadn't noticed he was mostly naked.

"Go get clothes on!" Rosalie snarled. She was irritatedly pulling her hair up and Jacob assumed that she had been forced to come along, probably to make up for the collar incident. Jacob already wished that she would just go home. He sneered at her and purposefully spread his stance so that the already-tight fabric stretched across his hips. She made a gagging noise, but of course, couldn't help looking down.

Her eyes widened slightly and then a grin split her face. She looked suddenly smug. Jacob was immediately suspicious and darted his eyes down at himself. He realized his error as soon as he caught the glint of his necklace.

Sharing the chain with the big ring were the two dog tags he had removed from the collar. He wanted to groan out loud, but grinned instead, winking at her. He was sufficiently satisfied by her eye roll and turned away, heading back for the house.

"What's going on?" Billy asked, rubbing his eyes. He was usually a pretty heavy sleeper, but Emmett's gigantic F650 was about as quiet as a tank in an antique shop.

"We're building a garage," Jacob told him in passing, already half-way to his room.

"Oh, okay." It took Billy's half-asleep mind a few seconds to process what his son had actually said. With his brows drawn together, he wheeled back into the hallway. "Do we have a permit for that?" he asked dubiously.

Jacob snorted. "Hell if I know. It's the _Cullens_."

"Right." The older man shrugged, dismissing the matter as he wheeled back towards his room. He stopped and pushed himself back again. "Why are you building a garage, by the way?"

"Because precious Edward doesn't want to work outside." Jacob tried to make his voice sound sarcastic. He tried to sneer.

He failed.

Billy grinned at him and wheeled away again, chuckling under his breath.

"Get enough beauty-sleep, gorgeous?" Emmett teased when Jacob reappeared, fully clothed. Jacob stuck his tongue out, pretending that he didn't notice Rosalie's self-satisfied smirk, or the way her eyes quickly picked out the shape of his ring and dog-tags through his clothing.

"Emmett wanted to come over about two hours ago," Edward told him over one shoulder. The vampire was hefting massive bags of industrial cement like sacks of potatoes. He dropped them in the neat stack that was accumulating by what would apparently be the site of the new building. "I had to remind him that you and your father still sleep."

"Not to mention the rest of the Res. Seriously, got a big enough truck there, Em?"

Emmett seemed pleased that Jacob was shortening his name, though it made Rosalie growl. "Was going to bring the 750, but wasn't sure if it would fit in the driveway." He shrugged, winking at Jacob's struck expression.

"You have a _bigger_ one?"

Carrying a dozen heavy steel pipes, Alice paused behind him long enough to laugh her sweet tinkling laugh and tell him, "He owns three semis."

"_Why_?"

Emmett shrugged again, yanking more cement out of the back of the truck. "Why not?"

Shaking his head, Jacob dragged one of the huge bags out and hoisted it over his shoulder. "How big is this going to be... exactly?" he asked, starring at the amassed cement.

"I told you, you got too much, Em," Edward agreed, standing next to Jacob and looking down at the bags.

"Better safe than sorry," Emmett quoted, almost singing. Jacob came to the sudden, startling impression that Emmett probably had a good singing voice.

"He does," Edward confirmed, smiling at him.

"You all are.." Sam's words were momentarily lost in a yawn, "..._way_ too cheerful for this early. It's ungodly."

"You patrol at night," Jacob argued, eyeing the other man's steaming coffee. His eyes were red and puffy from lack of sleep, his lips pulled down in an exhausted grimace.

"_Exactly_."

"Well, go home."

"And lose the bet?"

"What bet?" Jacob's eyes narrowed and he turned to Edward. The vampire was the very picture of innocence and merely smiled.

"Leeches think we're gonna crap out and not be able to help," Embry supplied, not seeming the least bit afraid to use the normally derogatory term. Jacob worried briefly that someone would take offense, but Emmett just laughed and pounded Embry enthusiastically on the back.

"You don't have to be ashamed, my friend. It's not your fault that you are soft and weak."

Embry gave him a solid punch to the jaw, which only made the wolf's hand ache and Emmett laugh harder.

"Hey! Get a _move_ on!" Alice ordered. She was already clearing out the section for the foundation.

"You heard the lady!" Carlisle agreed, stepping between Embry and Emmett and setting a hand on each of their shoulders. "We're going to have to break anyways for the cement to set, so shall we?"

The rest of the pack drifted in over the next hour and they worked steadily. Only one cement fight broke out and it stopped promptly when Blondie ended up with a handful of it in her hair. She stomped off to wash it out and they made sure they were working by the time she got back. Esme didn't help with the cement, but walked straight into the house with her arms full of groceries to start cooking. Emily and Kim joined her when they arrived shortly after 6 am. Coffee and water appeared regularly, and the scent of cooking breakfast hurried all the wolves along.

"This is going to be bigger than the house," Jacob observed, one eyebrow pulled down.

Next to him, Edward straightened and glanced over the cleared area. He looked back at the house. "Not quite. Close though," he teased.

"You said a _garage_," Jacob reminded him. "Not a warehouse."

"It won't be that big once we get the Jeep and everything in," Edward reasoned. "And it won't be _taller_ than the house at least."

Actually, they had picked a perfect place for the 'garage.' Far enough away from the house not to overwhelm it, but close enough to be convenient. The forest also stretched along three sides of the building, keeping it well hidden.

With fifteen of them working, laying the foundation took only a few hours. Edward was carefully cutting grooves in the cement when Esme appeared on the porch and called for breakfast. The wolves cleared out almost before she could get the words out, and were summarily halted by Emily and hosed down before they were allowed anywhere near the house.

Esme had considerately stretched a canvas tarp over the carpet and they lined up, buffet style, to collect their breakfasts.

Jacob watched them from the yard, shaking his head slowly, an amused smile playing on his lips. Sometimes it counted to have a big family.

"Aren't you going to go eat?" Edward prodded. He didn't look up from his careful work.

"I'll let them clear out a little. Guy could lose a limb in there, looks like."

Further conversation was cut off by the sudden roar of a massive fan. Jacob blinked at it, startled by its size. Emmett had attached the giant thing to a generator and seemed very pleased by the outcome.

_Sheesh. In much of a hurry?_

Even over the fan he picked up Edward's chuckle. "We're going to have waves in the cement, guaranteed. But Emmett isn't really the patient type."

"It's not like there's any way this will be dry today, why push it?"

Edward stood and walked around Jacob. Ignoring Emmett's whooping, he pulled the plug on the massive fan. Sure enough, the wind had created little ripples on the surface of the cement. "Now _you_ get to even it out."

"Heeeeey," Emmett complained.

"People are still _sleeping_, Em."

The big vampire at least had the decency to look abashed. With a long-suffering sigh, he began taking the giant fan apart.

"What on earth is that for anyways?" Jacob rubbed vigorously at one ear, opening and closing his jaw in an attempt to get the pressure to equalize.

"Movie sets. Hurricanes, tornadoes... that sort of thing."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. Emmett likes his toys. Go get your breakfast before its gone," Edward suggested. Jacob agreed reluctantly, not wanting to admit out loud that he just didn't want to leave the vampire's side. Edward kindly ignored the thought and Jacob turned quickly away, hurrying for the house.

Each with a mountain of food, the various members of the pack had spilled out of the house and were arranged on the deck and even in the snow as they downed their more than ample breakfasts. Jacob picked his way between them, but was met at the door by a smiling Esme with plate in hand. He grinned at her and gratefully took the heaping plate.

After another couple hour's work, Alice called a halt, examining their work with a critical eye. She announced it satisfactory and they started setting up the tent that would protect the wet cement from the weather and keep it clean.

"See you _dark _and early, boys!" Emmett called out when they were finished, smiling with a sort of viciousness. "And girls," he added at Leah's disgruntled look. "_If_ you think you can haul your cushy asses out of bed." His grin was clearly a challenge, and from the general mood of the pack, it was a challenge that had been accepted.

Jacob hesitated while the site was cleaned up (less than half of the dry cement had been used) and loaded back into the trucks. He wanted Edward to stay, but wasn't sure how to ask him, how to convey that it was getting harder every day _not_ to see him.

Of course, just by thinking it he _had_ conveyed it. Edward dropped a bag of cement in his arms and nodded, smiling slightly. Jacob blushed faintly and obediently took the bag to the truck and returned for more.

"What was the point of making this a competition?" Jacob asked once the last of the trucks had trundled away. They were moving back towards the house with mute agreement.

Edward watched him quietly, his mind a little distracted. He made an effort to be involved in the conversation though and said, "Emmett is far more intelligent than you give him credit for."

Jacob turned to look at him and Edward was strangely caught by his eyes. He came to the sudden conclusion that Jacob Black had pleasant eyes, and was so shocked by it that he missed the other man's reply and had to ask him to repeat himself.

"What do you mean?" Jacob repeated slowly, those beautiful eyes lit up with his amusement.

"Emmett understands the pack better than the rest of us. He knows that friendly competition is our only road to friendly relations." Edward shrugged. "But of course, Emmett would turn breathing into a competition if he could."

Jacob laughed, his rich voice registering oddly on Edward. The vampire shook his head very slightly, trying to puzzle out why he was suddenly paying so much attention to small things about Jacob Black. Things he shouldn't be caring about. Things he shouldn't even be noticing _to_ care about.

He hadn't said anything when he picked up Jacob's silent request, but the truth of the matter was that _he_ was finding it equally hard to stay away from the wolf. And that frightened him. Badly.

_If you don't want to be here _that_ much, you should just leave._

Edward looked up sharply and realized that Jacob must have been speaking again. He smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. I guess I am distracted."

"So... go home. I don't need you to babysit me." Jacob sounded at once both sullen and sad.

"Jacob, if I didn't want to be here... I wouldn't be."

Jacob didn't seem convinced, but his thoughts betrayed his relief. He sighed and sank into the couch, picking up the remote. Edward hesitated a moment, but finally joined him on the couch. He leaned back slowly, more aware than usual of how close Jacob was. How warm he was.

He reduced his breathing rhythm and settled in to whatever program Jacob had found. It was still early enough that there wasn't much on, but he had found some old action movie. Edward smiled fondly, remembering when the flick was in theaters. He and Carlisle had gone to see it together, both amused by the special effects and the choreography. Edward considered the development of the media to be intensely fascinating, and wasn't faking his interest as the movie rolled past his eyes, deftly dredging up the memories of that night.

He and Carlisle had been masquerading then as brothers in a small town in eastern Canada. That night they narrowly missed being run out of town, though not because of someone discovering their supernatural nature. But because Carlisle held his hand through the whole movie, and Edward had thoughtlessly lifted that hand to kiss it.

"You're really into this," Jacob observed. His voice was soft with discovery and a touch of wonder. Edward had been paying such close attention to the movie that he'd only vaguely heard Jacob's suspicions about him feigning interest.

"I remember when this movie was in theaters," Edward admitted, still smiling fondly at the screen.

"Oh yeah," Jacob said, rolling his eyes slightly. "I keep forgetting that you're old enough to be my great-grandfather."

Edward laughed. "I'm not_ that _old," he protested. "Besides, this movie hit theaters in 1984. You only missed it by seven years."

Jacob snorted. "Only." He relaxed a lot after that, sprawling casually so their knees touched.

Edward didn't mind as much as he should have. Jacob fell asleep soon after that and Edward let the station run, sitting still and silent while he listened to Jacob's heart beat.

Jacob slept most of the day. Edward had considered leaving only briefly, but Jacob was using him as a pillow and he didn't want to disturb the obviously exhausted shifter. And so he was left with no escape when Billy wheeled into the living room and placed himself deliberately between Edward and the television.

Edward tipped his head slightly, politely curious. He was already being bombarded with the older man's thoughts though, and his brows creased as he was overwhelmed by a sudden crash course on Jacob Black's life.

"I know you can read my mind, boy, so I'm not going to speak," Billy whispered. He folded his hands calmly in his lap and looked for all the world like there was nothing abnormal going on. Edward nodded jerkily and closed his eyes, leaning his head back.

Billy's mind was better controlled than the average human's. The human memory was an imprecise thing. It recorded only a fraction of the actual events, and as a security mechanism, it then filled in the gaps with things that were _most likely_. Those false scenes were usually a little blurry around the edges. They lacked details, sometimes even whole faces. But Billy's mind contained very few of those. It also did not skip around from one scene to another; each new scene was sparked by a trigger memory in the previous one. Jacob's life -and consequentially, Billy's- cycled through his mind's eye in a very controlled, precise manner.

The stream finally deteriorated and Edward's eyes opened slowly.

_Don't hurt my son_, Billy thought very clearly. His mental voice was strong and somehow elegant. For the first time, Edward was able to reconcile this old man with his heritage. He nodded solemnly, eyes leaving Billy's kind gaze and traveling, almost against his will, to Jacob. The young shifter was still dead asleep, his expression soft and unguarded.

The floor creaked softly as Billy pushed himself toward the kitchen. He gave Edward another second to watch Jacob sleep and then reached out and grabbed his son's arm. He shook him a little roughly, making Jacob moan in his sleep. Jacob's brow furrowed and he yanked his arm out of his father's grasp, turning his body so that he was out of Billy's range and draped across Edward's chest.

"He's got patrol in an hour – I don't want him out there without dinner again," Billy told Edward, even though he was already moving away from the couch.

Edward shifted slightly, automatically reaching out to catch Jacob when the shifter lost his precarious perch and pitched forward. He stretched slightly, flexing the arm Jacob had been pressed against for most of the day. He felt strangely warm and limber, but before he could contemplate it too much, Jacob was stirring. He reached up to rub at his eyes, pulling thoughtlessly out of Edward's arms.

"What time is it?" he asked through a yawn, blinking at the window. The shades were still drawn, so the window wasn't very helpful.

"Dinner time!" Billy answered cheerfully from the kitchen before Edward could locate a clock.

"Dinner... have I been asleep _all day_?" he demanded, giving Edward a wide-eyed, incredulous look.

Edward shrugged, smiling wanly. "I wasn't keeping track."

Jacob stood and stretched, long body rolling with unconscious seductiveness. Edward watched him for a moment, trying to reconcile this creature with the fiery adolescent Billy had introduced him to. Jacob had aged so much in so few years, it was hard to believe they were the same person at all.

"What?"

Edward blinked and realized he had been caught staring. He shook his head minutely and stood as well. "I guess I should get going. I'll see you in the morning. Have a good evening, Mr. Black." He nodded briefly to both men and quickly excused himself.

In the damp weather, it was taking the cement a lot longer to set than Emmett was pleased with. They had all arrived at the Black residence just like the morning before, Emmett's massive truck loaded with steel siding and Edward's more practical F350 burdened with more supplies. They found the pack already waiting for them, grinning wolfish grins as they lounged in the snow.

"Well, God fuck it all!" Emmett swore, glaring at the still wet cement.

"I told you it wouldn't be dry," Esme reminded him, her eyes sparkling a little at her son's displeasure. "Not that you don't have enough construction experience to _know_ that," she added in an undertone. Besides her and Edward, she wasn't sure that anyone else realized how expertly Emmett was succeeding in getting their family and the pack to interact.

"Well!" She clapped her hands together, getting everyone's attention. "Everyone make a hand -or paw- print and I'll get breakfast started!"

There was some hesitation, so Esme stepped around Emmett and placed one small hand into the moist cement. It would probably be ready to work with by that evening or the next morning, she reasoned silently. Her hand print was just far enough away from the edge that it would still be visible when the walls went up, but close enough to be out of the way. She inscribed her name beneath the print with the tip of one finger and backed up to look at her handiwork.

"There!" She smiled, and squeezed Carlisle's hand with her clean one, then released him and headed back to her car to get the groceries.

Carlisle was the next to approach the cement block, and only after he had made a mark did the others crowd around.

While the rest were making their prints and inscribing names, Seth approached one corner, still in his wolf form, and sniffed at the cement curiously. With twin mischievous looks, Colin and Brady barked simultaneously, jumping at him. Startled, Seth jumped straight up.

And landed in the middle of the cement foundation.

He whined, standing stock still and glaring at the two young wolves. Unaffected by his ire, the two collapsed in the snow, squeaking in puppy-like delight.

_Saaaaaaaaammm_, Seth pleaded.

_I saw. Get out of there._

_ I can't!_

_ Of course you can,_ Embry said, his mental voice laced with something that translated to an eye-roll. _Walk_.

_But I'll mess it up!_ Seth complained. He snarled at Embry's mocking laughter. By this time, Sam had rounded the foundation and had Colin by the back of the neck. Brady was already cowering beneath him, belly pressed into the snow.

"Don't worry Seth. It will actually make a very nice artistic design. Esme would approve," Edward reassured the still-frozen wolf. Seth took a hesitant step toward the edge, placing his paw down precisely so it wouldn't smear.

Edward's words, however, were all the encouragement the pack needed and suddenly two larger wolves went shooting across the foundation, leaving a wide arc of massive paw prints. Edward sighed and Seth snapped at them when they came close enough. He hurried out of the cement, worried that a wrestling match might break out, which would not qualify as a "nice artistic design."

Seeing the impending rush, Sam stilled the rest of the pack with a sharp bark and a firm mental command. He chided Embry and Paul and the two trotted obediently back to the group, Paul nipping at Embry's side the whole way.

"Well," Alice said, looking down at the pattern of wolf-prints. "It does sort of look artistic."

"What looks artistic-?" Esme asked appearing suddenly beside Alice. She froze, looking down at the foundation. "Oh! How beautiful!" She smiled appreciatively and Paul preened, calling her attention with a self-satisfied _wuff_. She laughed joyously, and closed the distance between them, reaching out to scratch him behind the ears. He seemed startled by the touch and froze under her hands, but she continued her scratching and he capitulated, pushing his head harder into her hands.

_Found a new owner? _Embry teased. The pack barked and wuffed in playful jeering.

_Shuddup. Feels good._

_Yeah, I bet Rachel will accept the same excuse, huh?_

Paul growled low in his throat, turning abruptly away from Esme. He gave Embry half a second's head-start and then took off after him.

"What did I do?" Esme asked, looking up at Edward with a small frown.

Edward reassured her with a smile, patting her shoulder with his clean hand. "What did you need?"

"Can you come help me in the kitchen?"

Edward groaned. "You know I hate the smell of cooked food," he whispered quietly, though his whispering was probably unnecessary, as most of the pack -as well as Emmett and Alice- had been dragged into Paul's wrestling match.

"So don't breathe. You're the one with the culinary experience," Esme reasoned.

_She has you there_, Carlisle put in, his eyes glittering with amusement. Edward felt like sticking his tongue out at the man. When he was younger – and human – he had wanted to be a chef. Culinary school had been his attempt to both fulfill that dream and, hopefully, overcome his aversion to cooked meats.

"You don't need culinary training for eggs," Edward argued.

Esme crossed her delicate arms over her chest and looked up at him, lips set in a stubborn line. She didn't actually need the help, but more wanted the company. Billy wasn't awake yet and she hated cooking alone.

Edward was just bracing himself to agree when his head was suddenly flooded with bright greetings from the pack. The wrestling came to a halt and Edward followed the direction of their gazes to the woods. A shadow detached from the surrounding darkness of the woods and took on the form of Jacob Black's massive tawny wolf, back from patrol.

The pack greeted him with warm affection and playful nips as he trudged through their battleground toward the house. Seeing them all together, Edward realized for the first time exactly how much larger Jacob was than the rest of the pack. Next to him, Colin and Brady looked like common domesticated dogs, and he stood a full head taller than Leah. Even Sam was comparatively small.

He remembered the hunting trip and how little Seth had looked squaring off across from him. So when the sandy wolf trotted up to his friend and barely had to stretch to bump their muzzles together, Edward received another small shock. They all grew so fast...

"Are you coming?"

Edward looked down at Esme, ready to respond, but stopped. He smiled smugly and said, "Emily, Kim and Sue will be here in two minutes."

Esme laughed easily, accepting Edward's out. She wagged her finger at him a little and then turned and headed back into the house. He watched her go with a fond smile; he had hated Esme for all of two months when she had first been changed. With one look, she had taken his lover and mentor away. But Esme was a rare soul, and impossible not to love.

A sudden ripple of warmth ran up his back like a shudder and Edward cocked his head slightly. He knew even before he turned around that Jacob was behind him. If he had admired -admired?- Jacob's size from a distance, the wolf was far more impressive close up.

Slowly, like he was trying not to frighten the vampire, Jacob stepped up close. He was tall enough that he could lay his massive head on Edward's shoulder without strain if he wanted to. He didn't, but gently nudged his nose against Edward's jaw.

Without thought, Edward reached up and wound his arms gently around the wolf's neck. Esme's gift pressed into his arm and he smiled slightly, reaching down automatically to wrap his hand around the ring. Two other flat, warm shapes pressed into his palm along with the expected ring and he frowned.

"You're hiding from me again," he chastised, trying to move the necklace so he could see what had been added to it.

Jacob dipped his head slightly, his breath releasing in a soft _woosh_. He hesitated, then took a step back. Edward released the chain and frowned slightly, waiting for Jacob's walls to come down. They did not, but Jacob brushed gently against his side as he passed, leaving a trail of ticklish warmth in his wake.


	14. Dances with Devils

A/N: Sorry about the confusion earlier in the week. I actually posted the prologue – go check it out if you haven't already. The best place to keep up with updates, new up and comings, etc., is at my livejournal: http: // ladyshadowdrake . Livejournal . com / Here you will find occasional ramblings, new announcements for stories-in-the-works and just generally be able to keep track of me.

TWELVE:: Dances With Devils

Seth Clearwater was in a good mood. But then, that wasn't exactly uncommon. He knew he was driving his friend a little mad, but he also knew that Jacob needed all the positive distraction he could get.

He nudged Jacob's shoulder, pleased that he was almost tall enough to do it right. Minimal jumping required. Jacob rolled his big, glossy eyes and nudged him back, hard enough to make him sidestep. Seth didn't mind and let his amusement infuse the packmind. When he had first phased, he had been really small. Really, really small. His mother actually saw him in the back yard and thought he was someone's golden retriever that first night. But he had remembered how Jacob and Embry and Quil had suddenly gotten so big so fast, and was willing to wait.

He didn't get big though. At least, not fast like the others. Sam speculated that it had something to with how young he had been. All the others had pretty much grown into their human bodies before they had to grow into their wolf bodies, but Seth hadn't even hit his first real growth spurt yet. He was always small.

Resigning himself to the fact that he was going to be stuck in the body of a pre-adolescent boy for the rest of his life, Seth had tried very hard not to be bitter about it. To look on the bright side, he'd be able to get away with a lot more, right? He had almost convinced himself that it was a good thing when he woke up one morning to find that all his pants were too short by two inches. He'd matured quickly after that and was taller at the shoulder than Leah now. She had been pissed.

_How's your car coming?_ Seth asked, turning his mind away from his triumphant growth spurt. Jacob was preoccupied and not paying a lot of attention to him anyways, but half the reason he invited himself along on this little field-trip to the Cullen house was to keep Jacob company, not preen about his size.

_What's the other half_? Jacob's massive head was turned slightly to look at him, his jaw parted in a sly grin.

Seth was okay being teased. He had been teased all of his life and had gotten good at transforming the teasing into something more positive. So he didn't even feel embarrassed when he happily projected thoughts of bounding around with Emmett into their shared consciousness. Far off in the distance, Colin made himself known with something like a snicker.

Jacob only sighed, rolling his expressive eyes again. They continued running, Seth taking his usual circuitous route that expended four times the required energy to get from La Push to the Cullen house.

The bigger wolf stopped just inside the line of the trees and shifted, pulling his boxers on. Seth reluctantly did the same, but raced in front of Jacob into the clearing. Emmett was already sitting on the porch with his big playful grin and Seth smiled in response. He always felt a moment of awkwardness, realizing that he was acting like a little kid going over to see a friend. _Can Emmett come out to play?_ But then again, Emmett was the one who was waiting for him with a big excited smile.

Before he could make it all the way to the porch, though, Alice dropped out of a second story window, forcing him to pull up short in order to avoid running straight into her. She seemed a little... off. Tired. But she smiled at him anyways and pointed to the door. "Go get dressed first. And _then_ you two can go play."

Seth groaned and shifted his weight anxiously. He didn't want to go get dressed! Why bother, anyways? He was just going to have to take it off again. But Alice enjoyed dressing him up and he enjoyed making Alice happy, so they both knew he would do it. He gave Emmett a dejected look in passing, exaggerating his mournful expression. Alice rolled her eyes and gave him a push and Emmett laughed, winking at him. Behind him, he could hear Jacob getting similar orders and quickly ran up the stairs. He almost literally ran into Esme in the hall and quickly pecked the startled woman's cheek before he darted into the guest room that he seemed to have adopted. He could hear Esme laughing softly and smiled: he liked Esme, and she had a nice laugh.

Alice had chosen his outfit and laid it out on the bed, as was her custom any time he came over. He knew the closet was probably filled with clothing, but he'd never been too interested in really exploring it. He was content enough to play life-sized dress up doll if that made Alice happy, but he didn't have to be excited about having a 'wardrobe!' Plus, he would never risk Alice's wrath by questioning her choice of outfit.

By the time he made it down the stairs again, Jacob was already dressed and had joined the majority of the Cullen family in the living room. Carlisle and Esme sat on the love seat facing the stairs, both of their expressions serious. As soon as Esme saw him, she sat up a little straighter, trying to clear her expression. What resulted was a slightly more perfect rendition of the same look his mother got when she was worried about something but trying not to let him know.

Emmett, who was seated beside Edward on one long couch, turned to look at him. He pulled himself to his feet and grinned like a school boy. "Ready?" he asked excitedly. Seth wasn't fooled by this tactic anymore than he was fooled by Esme's attempt to look like nothing was bothering her. He jumped down the last few steps and stood there with his arms crossed.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, Seth. Go outside with Emmett." Jacob's voice was deep and somber. Sad even when he was less than three from his imprinted. He didn't like that Jacob was always so depressed, but he wasn't going to let the bigger wolf get away with babying him.

"I'll give you twenty years and a kid to try that tone again," Seth suggested. He tried on a glare, knowing it probably wouldn't be as effective as he wanted: he wasn't good at being angry or mean.

"Seth..." Edward started, turning minutely to look over his shoulder.

_I'm not a little kid!_ Seth interrupted him. He may not be good at being angry, but he knew how to communicate.

"Yes, you are," Edward argued back, finally turning all the way around. He braced one arm over the back of the couch and opened his mouth to say something else, but paused, cocking his head back towards his family.

"We were just discussing Jasper," Dr. Cullen said calmly.

Seth looked up in some shock at his unexpected ally: he wasn't used to having someone on _his_ side during this type of argument.

"Is he okay?" Seth asked, hoping he didn't sound too eager. He hadn't seen the tall vampire since the hunting trip, and mostly just tried not to think of him. There was silence for a moment while those strange glances flew across the room. It was like everyone gained a whole new wordless language as soon as they were 'adults.'

"No," Alice said quietly before the silent conversation seemed to come to a conclusion. "He's getting much worse. He hasn't left the room in over a week now."

"Oh...what can we do for him?"

Surprisingly elegant for all his bulk, Emmett folded himself sideways onto the couch so he was still facing Seth. "We're thinking about getting him a dog," the big vampire admitted, shrugging his big shoulders. It was obvious that Emmett didn't think that would help. Neither did Alice.

"He did well with Sam," Edward argued, spinning the other way so he was facing his brother.

"_Sam_ isn't a dog!" Jacob snapped. His shoulders were pulled back and his knees were dragged towards his body. Edward seemed oblivious, but Seth could tell instantly that Jacob was holding onto his control by a thread.

"I'm not saying he is," Edward countered through his teeth. "Do you have a better idea?"

"What if he harms the poor creature?" Esme asked, her eyebrows drawn together. Carlisle put a hand on her back and rubbed it in small, soothing circles.

Edward ran his hand roughly through his hair. "I don't know. But we've got to do something!"

The argument Seth's arrival had interrupted picked back up. Seth starred at them with his head cocked, a bemused frown spread across his face. He sighed and dropped his head, shifting his weight. He really wished there was something...a glint caught his eye and he turned slightly to look at the little table next to the stairs.

The thought barely crossed his mind before it was out of his mouth. In fact, the lag between thought and speech was so small that Edward had only a fraction of a second's warning before Seth declared, "Hey! _I'm_ not a dog!"

The room fell dead silent.

"Of course you're not," Jacob said with a scoff. He was trying to make it sound like he didn't understand what Seth was talking about, but the sudden stillness of his body gave him away.

"And he can't really hurt me," Seth continued in a rush, taken with the idea now that he'd come to it.

"Yes he can!" Edward snapped.

Mind already made up, Seth snatched the big leather collar off the side table and darted back up the stairs, taking them four at a time. There was a great ruckus behind him as people leapt to their feet to chase after him. He yanked his tee shirt off with one hand and then pulled the collar down in its place. He wanted to take off Alice's nice designer jeans, but that would take too long and he only had seconds – maybe even just parts of _a_ second – before someone caught up with him.

Seth shifted noisily in the hall, trying to avoid knocking anything over. Jacob was so close behind him that he could feel the other shifter's warmth, but the room Alice and Jasper shared was closer and he burst through the partially open door.

Jasper was arranged on the bed like a corpse. His arms were stiff at his side and he stared sightlessly at the ceiling. Seth had only a heartbeat to take in his dull eyes, notice that his chest didn't rise and fall in the comforting pattern of breathing, and pick up the strange powdery texture of his skin. If he'd had time to hesitate, he probably would have. Maybe he would have even chickened out and turned back. But with Jacob close enough to scruff him, he didn't have the time to be appropriately frightened by Jasper's lifeless appearance and jumped straight onto the bed. It was a credit to the bed's craftsmanship that it didn't even shudder under his weight.

Jasper's coal black eyes turned very slowly to look up at him. The stillness of his face gave the strange impression of a pair of living eyes caught in a statue, which also probably would have frightened Seth, but the young werewolf barked a happy greeting and licked his face.

The world seemed to freeze in anticipation. Edward was poised on the edge of the bed to pull Jasper away if he went for Seth's throat, and Jacob had a big shaking hand fisted in the tough fur at the back of Seth's neck. For a long second it seemed like Jasper was going to greet this with the same apathy he had displayed toward everything since Isabella's gift, but slowly, he raised a hand and ran his fingertips over the dark collar hanging around Seth's neck. It was a little loose and a little thick on him, but it served its purpose.

Jasper's gaze transferred slowly to Alice. His face had gained a little mobility and he gave her a questioning look. "You got me a dog?"

Alice smiled immediately and pushed past Edward to sit at the bedside. "What do you think?" she asked quietly, her voice filled with tremulous hope.

"I like dogs," Jasper whispered. He turned back to Seth and petted his head gently.

~*~

"What on earth was he _thinking_?!" Jacob seethed. He couldn't believe they were letting this continue! Even after Jasper's seeming acceptance of his new 'pet,' Jacob had wanted to yank Seth off the bed and drag him far away.

"He wants to help," Edward answered quietly. He was obviously trying to calm Jacob down, but it was equally obvious that he agreed with the irate shifter.

"We are _not_ pets!!" Jacob roared, rounding on the vampire. Emmett was standing cautiously in the background and Carlisle was watching from the porch, his brows pulled together in a tormented expression. "How am I supposed to explain this to Sam? How am I supposed to tell _Sue_ that her _son_ has just become someone's pet puppy-dog!?" Jacob's body was trembling, but he was too enraged to even phase. "He's _fourteen!_"

Edward was poised to reply, but he froze in that curious way that Jacob had come to understand meant he was communicating with someone silently. Along with all the other emotions rolling around in Jacob's head, jealousy was quickly added to the list. It didn't matter that he was intentionally shielding himself from his imprinted.

"Sam already knows," Edward announced. He turned slightly just as Sam exploded into the clearing. He was flanked by Leah and Jared, and all three of the wolves had their hackles up.

Not caring one whit for modesty, Jacob hurriedly stripped and took several slow breaths. Phasing was usually so easy for him that he growled in frustration when the heat refused to release him from his human body so he could communicate with his pack. Seeming to realize his plight, Edward reached out and placed a cool hand on his shoulder. Jacob felt some of the rage seep away and moaned gratefully when the all-consuming swell of the change overtook him. Edward jerked his hand back quickly and moved away just fast enough to avoid getting injured.

_What is going on?! _Sam demanded immediately. His voice was rife with alpha dominance and Jacob felt momentarily crushed by it.

Seth was snarling angrily in the background that he was just helping his friend, and Leah and Jared were both adding their clamorous protests to the argument.

_SILENCE_. The heavy alpha command silenced not only the whole pack, but all the birds and animals in hearing range as well. _Come down here, _now_, Seth._ Sam's voice was thick and strong and practically vibrated in the air. The pressure of his ire made Leah whimper and she slowly lowered herself to the ground, Jared following suit. Jacob remained stubbornly standing and kept himself between his alpha and his mate.

Padding on all fours, Seth emerged a moment later. His head was bowed and he moved like he was a hauling a massive weight. Jasper appeared seconds later, his brow creased in confusion and concern as he watched his 'dog' struggle to move.

_You will go home now,_ Sam snarled.

_I...can't!_ Seth panted harshly. He trying valiantly to remain upright under the horrible press of Sam's command, but his chest was inches from the ground and his flanks trembled with the effort.

_We are not pets to these leeches! Jacob's actions are excusable – yours are not. Go. Home_. His voice took on the double timbre of the edict and Seth whimpered, crawling forward against his will. Jasper followed after him. "What's the matter, puppy?" he asked, his voice strangely small, somehow innocent. An enraged snarl ripped from Sam's throat and a wide strip of fur stood up straight down his spine. He crouched low, preparing to spring.

_Sam, please!_ Jacob pleaded, putting himself between Sam and Jasper with great effort. _Don't do this!_ A horrible thing had been revealed to Jacob the moment Sam dropped into his crouch; if his alpha attacked any member of the Cullen family, he would defend them. He would defend them and he would win.

Sam hesitated, realizing the same as soon as Jacob did. But he couldn't stand by and let his pack become pets for a vampire's whim! They were a great and noble people and had been demeaned by the association too much already!

_You don't believe that!_ Jacob argued frantically. He knew his alpha really _didn't_ believe that, and Sam did as well, but the responsibilities of the alpha, the instincts that came with his heavy position were urging him that this was true. Fighting those instincts was proving difficult.

_Let me...go..._Seth pleaded. He was still inching slowly forward, but fighting back with all his might. Blood was trickling slowly from his nose and his mouth was open and panting.

_I will not_, Sam told him coldly. His urge to attack the vampire may have been successfully repressed, but the reasons remained.

Seth whined and tossed his head. _Please!_ he pleaded again. It was obvious to the entire pack that not even Seth fully understood why he was fighting against the alpha's pull so hard, but just as Sam couldn't abide by the arrangement, Seth was equally unable to rescind it.

Seth clenched his teeth and then threw his head back and howled. Very suddenly, the bright glow of warmth that had been Seth Clearwater blinked out of the packmind and Sam was left reeling, staring wide-eyed at the still-shifted member of his pack who he could no longer feel.

He darted forward and this time, stunned, Jacob let him pass. _He can't _not_ have an alpha!_ Sam all but screamed. The packmind didn't work that way; there were no lone wolves. The shifter's mind was unable to handle the strain of being both human and wolf without the alpha's grounding presence. It was the only reason Sam himself had become the alpha; because he had been _forced_ to, for his own survival.

~*~

Seth didn't know what he was doing. He knew he should just obey his alpha and go home. He could always come back later, when he had a chance to reason with Sam and explain that it wasn't something permanent. He was just trying to help Jasper come out of his weird apathy. But something strong was holding him back, something larger and stronger than even his alpha. He couldn't begin to comprehend what it was, but it led straight back to Jasper, or maybe past him.

The conflicting pulls were threatening to tear him apart. He had to chose one, and he had to chose soon, but he didn't want to!

_Please!_ he pleaded helplessly, yet again. If Sam would just let him go... The alpha's pull remained insidiously strong and Seth clenched his teeth against it. If he was going to survive, something had to give. He tossed his head back and howled out his agony, even as he reached out and pulled back on the cord tying him to his alpha.

Suddenly there was darkness. Silence. Seth stumbled backwards as though he had actually cut himself away from a physical anchor. He was alone! Alone! A great crushing madness overwhelmed him and he couldn't think because his thoughts were too loud and they echoed strangely against his mind that was all at once suddenly too small and far too vast.

The shock of the sudden silence propelled him out of his wolf form and he screamed, clutching his head like he could physically hold it together. He dropped to his knees and curled to his side, vaguely aware that a giant wolf was pacing helplessly around him, whining. The wolf approached him and he reacted with instinctive violence, reaching out with a bare hand to smack the giant's muzzle. The wolf backed away sharply and then approached again, slower this time, his body close to the ground.

Seth heaved his aching body off the ground and backed away, swatting at the wolf again.

He understood, vaguely, that Sam was trying to bring him back into the fold. He understood, vaguely, that time was moving slower for him than it seemed to move for everyone else. He understood, vaguely, that he was dying.

And still, he hit the wolf away.

~*~

_He can't not have an alpha!!_ Sam shouted again. His mind was a mess of worry and self-damnation. _Jacob! You have to try!_

_ I'm not the alpha!_ Jacob argued, horrified at what was already forming in Sam's mind. If Seth didn't allow himself to be brought back in, Sam was going to kick Jacob out of the pack. Force him to take his birthright. He was sick at the thought, but knew he would do it if it came down to it. If it meant Seth's life.

Sam was just readying himself to do exactly that when Edward suddenly shot between the frantic alpha and Seth. He moved so fast that he was little more than a silver-black blur, and by the time anyone realized what he was doing, he was already across the yard and closing his mouth around Seth's throat.


	15. Here Comes the Moon

THIRTEEN:: Here Comes the Moon

The clearing was a mess of charged stillness as Seth went limp in Edward's arms. Shaking, Edward slowly pulled away from him. His mouth shuddered and his tongue lingered on the young boy's smooth, warm skin. Venom was filling his mouth like saliva and he quickly snapped it shut, praying that he hadn't broken the skin.

_Please, tell me I didn't break the skin_, Edward pleaded silently. He slowly opened his eyes. Less than a second had passed since he had grabbed Seth away and, hopefully, saved Jacob from being removed from his pack.

_You didn't break the skin_. Seth's mental voice was a soft balm and felt like sunlight and deep forest as it invaded his mind. It was so different from just overhearing his thoughts; Seth was speaking directly to him. It was an awe-inspiring thing.

Somewhere behind him, he heard Alice gasp, but couldn't turn his eyes away from the wonder that was little Seth Clearwater staring calmly up at him. His packmate. He gently set the boy down and Seth leaned on him heavily, body trembling.

_What did you do?_ Sam's voice, much like Seth's, entered his head directly. If Seth had been sunlight and deep forest, Sam was a volcano. His voice, which had always been pleasant to Edward, was now a sheer force of nature, terrifying in its beauty.

Edward hesitated for a moment. _You said he needed an alpha,_ he tried, wondering if Sam would be able to hear him. From the wolf's startled jump, he did.

_What gave you that right?!_ Sam snarled.

"He wasn't accepting _you_ back!" Edward snapped, wrapping an arm protectively around Seth's shaking shoulders.

_You could have _killed_ him!_

"I saved his life," Edward pointed out coldly.

There was another moment of tense silence while Sam tried to decide what to do. His mind was pushing him to attack. Another alpha was in his territory and had stolen one of his packmates!

"This is _my_ territory," Edward reminded him with a predatory growl. In all honesty, it was really more _Carlisle's_ territory, if anyone's. Like he had noticed before though, Carlisle might be _their_ leader, but in the eyes of the pack, _Edward_ was alpha.

The statement sent a little shock coursing through Sam's body and the alpha instinct shut down as fast as it had welled up. He shifted out smoothly, standing slowly. Jacob was still crouched between him and Edward, and for the first time he realized that his second's ruff was raised and his body was arranged in the classic defense posture. If he had tried to press his claim, he would have lost Jacob anyways. He glanced down. At his side, Leah was fighting to rise and he realized he still might lose her.

"I'm sorry," Sam whispered, hoping to divert the further destruction of his pack. "Instinct..." he started, but Edward nodded, already relaxing. Seth was a trembling mess against his chest and Sam felt a little shock of remorse. Why hadn't he been able to control himself better?

"Is there any way to rectify this?" Edward asked softly.

Seth gasped and looked up at him with wild eyes. Edward looked down at him again, shocked to find the boy's eyes were no longer their customary soft brown, but a startling icy blue. "Don't turn me away!" Seth pleaded, breath hitching. "I can't take that again!"

"Shh," Edward soothed immediately. He put a hand on Seth's head and dragged the sobbing boy's face to his chest. "I won't abandon you. But you belong with your pack. Can you go back to him?" he asked quietly.

Seth shook his head in immediate refusal. "I won't leave Jasper!" He pried his head away from Edward's chest and looked back at Jasper. The blond vampire was already losing interest in the proceedings and the far-away expression on his face made Seth's heart ache. He pulled away slowly, holding on to Edward's outstretched arms until he was sure he could stand on his own.

He felt for the heat and pulled it up forcefully. His wolf leapt eagerly from his shaking body and relief flooded their small packmind. He didn't want to admit that he had been afraid that he might have lost his ability to phase when Edward claimed him. It wasn't that unreasonable a fear: he had been human when he was pulled into the new pack, and had been able to hear Edward's thoughts when he wasn't shifted, and speak in return.

Refusing to meet either Sam or Jacob's eyes, Seth hurried back to Jasper. He licked the vampire's hand to get his attention, wincing when Leah and Jared both snarled in shock and rage. Jasper smiled down at him and petted his bowed head.

Edward watched Seth for a moment more and then stepped slowly forward until he was standing at Jacob's shoulder. The giant wolf was still bristling, his body still lowered in a crouch, ready to jump to Edward's defense if need be. He set a hand on Jacob's big shoulder, fingers digging into his fur in what he hoped was a soothing way. Jacob's thoughts were still shielded, so he had no idea what the shifter was thinking.

Sam watched him carefully, unmindful of his nudity. _Don't take him away from me too,_ the alpha pleaded silently.

Before claiming Seth, he might not have understood Sam's terrified tone. But even after only a few minutes, Edward realized how much pain Sam must be in, and didn't envy him it at all.

"_If_ there was a way for him to go back to you..." He was aware of Seth's anxiety and did his best to soothe it. He wasn't used to having to share his own thoughts; it was strangely disconcerting and oddly wonderful all at once. "If there was a way, would you let him stay with Jasper?" He couldn't pretend to understand what was so important about his brother that Seth would risk his life and sanity to stay beside him, but it was obvious that something _was_ that important.

_Thank you_, Seth whispered quietly into their shared consciousness.

"I don't know," Sam admitted after a moment. He wanted to say yes. Even when Seth had pleaded with him the first time, he had wanted to relent. But that powerful alpha instinct wouldn't let go of him, and he wasn't sure that it wouldn't do the same thing again.

Edward nodded. "Then I think it's best if he stays with me... for now." He was doing his best to be kind to all parties involved, but the clearing was awash in shocked, enraged and hurt thoughts and there was no one answer that solved all of them.

Sam sighed softly and nodded. He understood. It hurt a lot, but he understood that it was for the best. For now at least. "And Jacob?" Sam asked slowly. He transferred his gaze down to his guarded second-in-command. The thought of losing Jacob's support made his gut twist.

"I have no intention of breaking up your pack," Edward reassured him firmly. Jacob twisted slightly to look at him, but his walls stayed firmly in tact and Edward had no idea what the wolf was trying to convey. He sighed softly, hand tightening in Jacob's fur.

The La Push alpha nodded very slowly and turned away. He didn't quite trust himself to phase just then, so he walked, naked and barefoot into the forest. Jared followed almost immediately, but Leah hesitated. She took a slow step towards Edward, but a fierce growl from Jacob brought her up short. Her ears twitched back and forth. She glanced at Seth and took another step. Jacob bristled warningly, his lips peeling back to display his full compliment of sharp teeth. Leah froze, her tail tucking slowly between her legs. Jacob snapped at her and she finally turned and fled.

For a long moment, there was stillness. Edward was ignoring his family's queries, his eyes locked onto Jacob. Still radiating anger and agitation, Jacob refused to look at him.

"Let's go inside," Esme suggested finally, her soft voice breaking the delicate silence.

Another moment passed, and still no one moved. Finally, Emmett stepped forward, grabbed Seth by his lose collar and tugged him back towards the house. Alice glided forward to take her mate's hand and calmly led him back in. Carlisle hesitated, extending his concern to Edward, but at a small sign from the younger vampire, turned and followed his family back into the house.

They were left in silence and relative privacy, but still Jacob didn't face him. Edward was willing to wait and stood still and silent beside him. He still had one hand on Jacob's big shoulder, and thoughtlessly worked his fingers down into the course fur, scratching at his neck.

Jacob jerked away from him, finally shifting out.

"Is that all we are to you?" he asked tightly. He did not turn to face Edward, but stood stiffly with his hands clenched at his sides. For all that, his voice seemed more tired than angry.

"What?"

"Pets. Are we just... dogs to you?"

The question hit unexpectedly hard. Edward stared at Jacob's back in disbelief. The man's heart was thundering. _Thumpthump-thumpth-thump_. Edward mutely counted half a dozen quick beats before he could gather himself to reply.

"How can you even ask me that?" His voice came out a low growl.

"I'm not the mind-reader here!" Jacob reminded him, turning swiftly.

"_You're_ the one keeping _me_ out!" Edward snapped. His hand clenched automatically into a fist, but he stopped before he could follow through on the half-formed notion of knocking some sense the irrational werewolf. Jacob's face was a contortion of confusion and misery. Edward sighed and stepped forward to place a hand on the other's shoulder.

Jacob shivered slightly at the cold touch and closed his eyes. He knew his accusation was baseless. And yet, all he could see was _his_ imprinted's arms around someone else. All he could hear was Edward refusing to take him into his pack. Jealousy and bitterness coursed through him like fire, making tears prick annoyingly at his eyes.

"If you would just stop hiding from me," Edward urged quietly, "I would know what's really bothering you. I could fix it."

While Jacob had considered it briefly, Edward's last words snapped him out of it before he could take the walls down. He straightened and stepped back, pulling out from under Edward's hand. The vampire sighed, but Jacob forced himself to ignore him and stooped to collect his clothing. He took a steadying breath and reminded himself that his jealousy was unwarranted: Edward had saved Seth's life and he should be grateful, not upset.

_It's not like I have that much of a claim on him anyways._

"When are we going to start on the Jeep?" he asked, trying to keep his voice casual. From the way Edward's brow furrowed, he knew he had not been exactly successful. He realized that his habit of hiding his thoughts from his telepathic imprinted was not getting him closer to the man, and might even be having a severely detrimental effect on their relationship, but he didn't seem capable of giving up that last little pretense of control.

"We can start tomorrow, if you want..." Edward said finally. His voice was too soft and his tone was off, but Jacob grabbed onto the suggestion and held it with both hands. He summoned up a smile and tried to convey an apology his voice couldn't manage. Edward seemed to accept it, and nodded slightly.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Jacob said hurriedly. He handed Edward his clothing and offered him another sheepish smile, wondering briefly when he had gotten so comfortable being naked around this man. Edward returned his smile and he turned and phased neatly, running for home.

~*~

"What are you doing with these mutts?"

Edward looked up slowly. His fingers were lax on the keys, as they had been for over three hours. His conflicted eyes looked back at him from the surface of the impeccably polished baby grand.

"What are you talking about, Rosie?" Edward asked with a soft sigh.

"I'm talking about-" She sat down hard and grabbed the piano cover. Edward jerked his hands out of the way just in time to avoid doing damage to the instrument when she slammed the cover down. "You playing _buddy-buddy_ with these mutts! _Adopting_ one? Playing moony-eyes with another?!"

"Rosalie-!"

"Bella's been gone for less than a year, Edward!"

Edward's jaw clenched and his hands folded into fists. "Rose," he growled warningly.

"No, Edward. I didn't like her, but you put all of our lives at risk for her, time and again! And now she's gone and six months later, you're mooning over her best friend?!"

"ROSE!" Edward didn't raise his voice often and the sharp tone made her snap her mouth shut. She pursed her lips and glared at him. "Rose... I know that you're worried about me. I _know_, Rose. You can't realize what this does to me." He didn't like talking to Rosalie about these things; she wasn't the sensitive type.

"Try me," Rosalie said, her voice pitched low and colored liberally with scorn.

"Damnit, Rose! I need..." Edward took a slow breath. "I need to be needed right now, Rosalie." It was a hard thing to admit, but it was a conclusion he had reached some weeks ago. He needed a reason to stay checked in. Jacob was his reason. Seth was his reason. Jasper, hell, even _Sam_ were his reasons. They kept him sane.

For several seconds there was silence. Rosalie's mind was working like a clock. _Tick, tick, tick_ as it reached for its conclusions. _You're not the only one all of this is effecting_.

"I never am, Rosie."

Her expression softened slowly and she finally reached up and set a hand on his shoulder. She didn't speak, but her mind was softening as well, the icy exterior melting a little. He sighed, nodding slowly and then she stood and walked away, her heels clicking out a loud staccato rhythm that mimicked a heartbeat.

Edward closed his eyes and leaned his head back. His hands drifted out and he pushed the cover off the keys. His fingers lingered on the smooth curve of the cover and he took a second to appreciate the fine craftsmanship. He had purchased the piano in 1943. The masterpiece had come across the Atlantic from Russia in the 1800s, and he fell in love with it the first time his fingers hit the keys. The polished beauty had soothed his long hours for decades, but he hadn't played since the night Bella first opened her eyes and he found himself staring at a stranger. Yet something in the air was calling at his talent and his hands drifted across the keys, drawing out a slow melody.

In the far recesses of his mind, a wolf raised his remembered voice in a haunting counter melody.

Edward dropped his chin to his chest and let his old friend drag his agony out in lilting strings, crying for him when he couldn't.

~*~

Upstairs, Seth cocked his head and listened to the music. He'd never really appreciated music until the first time he'd heard it through his wolf's ears. He could pick out the soft click of Edward's fingers on the keys, the whisper of the ivory touching the wood, the soft thump of the mallets hitting the strings. He could feel the vibration of the strings in the air.

He could feel Edward's pain and stayed quiet why he listened to the simple haunting melody.

Next to him, Jasper was still and silent as though sleeping. Or dead. Seth nudged him gently and the vampire wrapped an arm around him. Jasper's grip was almost tight enough to be uncomfortable. A little tighter and it would be threatening, but Seth wasn't worried.

On his other side, Alice petted his head gently, almost absentmindedly. "Seth?" Her voice was soft and faraway, her eyes unfocused. He twisted his head a little to look up at her, but she wasn't looking at him. "Thank you, Seth. I know... I understand what you had to. I'm sorry."

He lifted his shoulders in a little shrug, his breath expelling in a long sigh.

"I can see you now," she whispered. Alice finally turned to look at him and her expression was troubled. "I guess it isn't a natural defense."

Seth shrugged again, shifting slightly in Jasper's arms.

"I wonder...."

The wolf tipped his head slightly, but she didn't continue. He pressed the top of head against her thigh and pushed gently. She smiled and resumed her petting.

Downstairs, the song came to an awkward halt on a discordant note. A moment later, the door swung quietly open and whispered closed.

~*~

Jacob stirred when the window opened. A cool breeze drifted across his naked body and he turned into it, relishing the cold air, even though he knew he'd have to get up and shut the window. Billy still ran at human temperatures and Jacob didn't want him to have to get up to turn the heat up.

He sighed and pried his eyes open.

Somehow, he wasn't quite as shocked as he should have been to see Edward leaning casually against his wall.

"Close the window," he muttered, turning away. The window obediently slid closed and latched.

"Do you always sleep naked?" Edward asked quietly.

"Why wouldn't I?" He stretched and grabbed his pillow, pulling it closer to his chest.

"Your bed is too small."

"I noticed."

The edge of his bed dipped and for the first time it really penetrated his sleep fogged mind that _Edward was in his room_. He rolled over and glared suspiciously at his imprinted.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to watch you sleep," Edward told him. He cocked his head slightly, deep topaz eyes wandering over Jacob's body. "But you woke up."

Jacob pushed himself up to his elbows. It hadn't occurred to him yet to be mindful of his nudity. "Do you do this often?"

Edward didn't answer, but his expression was strangely soft.

"We're friends, aren't we, Jacob?"

Jacob's brows drew together and he looked curiously up at Edward. His heart was pounding and his pulse was thick in his ears. "I guess," he mumbled, watching Edward intently. "Why?"

"I would like to see something..." He was suddenly half on top of the shifter, lips inches away from Jacob's parted mouth. The wolf was startled by the speed of the motion and drew in a shaky gasp. "May I?" Edward asked quietly.

"S-sure..."

Kissing Edward was quite possibly the best experience of his life. He moaned and pressed forward into the light touch, wrapping an arm around the vampire's neck and seeking to deepen the kiss.

Edward withdrew slowly and stayed hovering over Jacob's mouth, so close that Jacob felt him smile.

"That's what I thought," he said softly. He pulled back further and smiled gently at the flushed werewolf.

Jacob returned his smile tremulously. "What is?"

"Seth tastes sweeter."

The world collapsed and Jacob woke, sweating and tangled in his sheets.


	16. Bodywork

FOURTEEN:: Bodywork

Jacob's hand tightened on the wrench. He and Edward had been working silently side-by-side for nearly three hours. Jacob was covered in streaks of oil from forehead to thighs and Edward was still clean.

Somehow, that irritated him.

The bolt Jacob was tightening whined in protest to the torque and then abruptly gave. Jacob's arm continued forward with the momentum and he swore loudly as the motion carried half of his body into the engine compartment. He felt the small bones in his hand bend and break and swore again, yanking his arm out. The inside of the hood was dented where he'd hit it and his hand was already swelling beneath the blood and oil.

"Let me see it," Edward ordered softly, setting his tools aside and taking Jacob's wrist.

"It's fine," Jacob said tightly.

"It's broken," Edward corrected him. He wrapped his wonderfully cold hand around the swollen knuckles.

"I said it's fin-_fuck!_" With a single quick motion, Edward set the breaks before they could start healing. Jacob drew in several startled breaths through his nose, closing his eyes. He thought to drag his hand back, but even as angry as he was, he didn't want to give up the physical contact with his imprinted.

_Seth tastes sweeter._

He tensed, clenching his eyes tighter to stem the tide of jealousy. _It was just a dream. Get a grip!_ But his hand continued to tighten and Edward finally sighed. He withdrew his hand and gave Jacob a stony look.

"If you don't want me here, I don't want to be here, Jacob."

"So eager to get back to _Seth_?" Jacob snarled before he could stop himself.

Edward's eyes narrowed, his lips pursed slowly into a thin line and then he turned away and stepped around the Jeep, walking purposefully for the door.

"Edward! Wait!"

The vampire did not stop and Jacob ran after him. He caught Edward's wrist and held it, urging the other man to turn around, but he refused.

"This is hard for me," he confessed to Edward's back.

"What would you have me do, Jacob?" Edward inquired tightly.

_Kiss me. Tell me I taste sweet to you._ "Stay. Please." _I need you._

Edward sighed and then slowly nodded, his shoulders relaxing gradually. He turned slowly, making no attempt to break the hold Jacob had on his wrist.

Jacob meant to apologize, but the words stuck in his throat. Instead, he managed a smile. "Should we call the Jeep quits for now?" he tried.

"Unless you're planning on doing anymore bodywork?" Edward's eyebrow hiked, but his voice was still stiff.

"Why spoil all of Emmett's fun?" The joke was weak and Jacob grimaced in silent apology. Edward rolled his eyes and jerked his head towards the house. "Why don't you go take a shower?" he suggested. He gently shook Jacob's hand off and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

Jacob hesitated and then asked, "Are you going to stay?"

"I'll make you some food."

"What would you know about cooking?" Jacob asked and managed a laugh that didn't sound forced. He realized, belatedly, that they were still standing in the snow and watched a flake melt on his arm.

"I think I can manage leftovers." Without waiting, Edward turned and headed back for the house.

Edward went straight for the kitchen and Jacob hesitated in the doorway with his hand on the knob. He wanted to say something. He wanted to let down his barriers and make Edward _understand_ that he wasn't just jealous for jealousy's sake.

He felt like he was drifting, spinning free from any anchor. He felt disoriented and lost. He wanted to wrap his arms around his imprinted and just hold him. He wanted to throw him against the wall and show him how much he cared. He wanted to mark his territory and that wasn't as frightening as it should have been.

"Are you just going to stand there all day?" Edward's satin voice broke through the spell and Jacob shut the door and walked wordlessly to the bathroom.

Once safely locked in the bathroom, he undressed quickly and started the water, pulling the nob for the shower before the water had even had a chance to warm up. He glanced down at the lever; when it did warm up, it would be scalding hot.

He let the water run over his back and braced his forearms on the tiled wall. Hot showers had become something like an exercise in futility for him, but since the fiasco the day before he'd felt strangely cold. The hot water felt soothing and he breathed the thick air slowly.

If the situation were normal, he would have no excuse for how tight his chest felt, or the insistent urge to kill Seth Clearwater, or the tears he couldn't seem to stop. Edward's soft voice had surpassed the gray curtain of wakefulness to torment him in every quiet moment and every second his imprinted was out of his sight, gut-wrenching visions of Edward and Seth-

_Stop!_ he told himself firmly, forcing his eyes open. He breathed slowly and concentrated on the faded blue tiles. Paranoia was closing around his neck like a noose and if he didn't control himself... there was no telling what he might do.

He remembered skidding across the Cullens' deck on the night of his surprise party and knowing, even then, that he would kill every member of his pack if Edward had been harmed. What would he do if he decided that Edward was being taken away from him?

He remembered Seth's cheerful face and his hands curled slowly into fists, his jaw tightening until it began to hurt. If Seth Clearwater laid one hand-

_STOP_!!

He smacked the lever down, shutting the water off, and flung the curtain open. The bathroom was filled with steam and his own reflection was obscured by an opaque layer of fog. He dried quickly and nearly ran from the bathroom.

Dressed in clean sweats, Jacob emerged from the hallway a few minutes later. A collection of plates were arranged on the table, each supporting a small mountain of food. Edward was seated calmly on the couch, one arm draped over the side with the remote held loosely in his fingers. The flickering light of the television softened his features and made him look like something divine. Jacob wondered what it would feel like to run his fingertips over his face... down his neck....

"Your food is on the table."

For the first time in a long time, food was the last thing on Jacob's mind and he took a hesitant step towards the couch with a half-formed notion of grabbing Edward and kissing him. Claiming him. Marking him.

"It's going to get cold."

"Thanks." He changed direction mid-stride and headed for the kitchen table.

~*~

Edward flipped the channels while the werewolf ate and pondered his friend's -friend?- capricious moods. Jacob's unwillingness to share his thoughts had been nothing short of annoying for months, but the man had been a blank wall to him since he'd saved Seth's life. He didn't understand why Jacob was so upset over it. He could sense the jealousy, but his every attempt to start a conversation on the matter had been brushed aside with increasing hostility. He wasn't even sure if Jacob was upset with him or Seth, or if _Jacob_ even knew.

The shifter finished his meal and gathered his plates. The water ran briefly as each was rinsed and loaded into the dishwasher. Jacob seemed to hesitate again on the threshold between the living and dinning rooms and Edward remained still and hopped for a small thought to escape Jacob's barrier. For a moment, he almost felt like the barrier was thinning, but the moment passed and the darkness gathered even thicker around Jacob's thoughts. Edward sighed and the shifter finally rounded the couch and sat next to him. Usually Jacob took such opportunities to casually sit closer than the boundaries of 'friendship' dictated, but this time he kept a wide gap between them.

The space felt like a physical thing to the vampire and he glanced down briefly at the cushion that separated them, feeling strangely saddened by it.

Jacob watched the screen silently and Edward surreptitiously examined his profile. The light made him look oddly regal and he felt a sudden desire to trace the line of Jacob's cheekbones.

He turned away, clenching his jaw. A heaviness had been building in his chest for weeks and it was growing steadily worse. It was almost like steam was gathering inside of him and it would have to go somewhere eventually.

His hand curled into a tight fist as a sudden vision of pressing Jacob into the couch flashed through his mind. He could tear off their clothing easily enough. He could sink his fingers into Jacob's silky hair. He could -

He pulled his vision to a halt before it could go any further and held his breath.

_He wouldn't mind_, Seth's voice announced very softly. _If you wanted to touch him..._

_I have been too careful of him for too long to take advantage of his imprint now because I am a little lonely_, Edward responded tightly. Seth seemed a little stung by the comment and did his best to withdraw. Edward thought to call him back and apologize, but he didn't.

"What are we watching, anyways?" Jacob asked. His voice was a little tight and Edward tipped his head to examine him. His face was flushed and his heartbeat had sped up substantially. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry." Edward returned his attention to the television screen and tried to remember. Immediately, he realized why Jacob was so flushed and shifted a little himself. The camera was angled to catch the actor's most artistic side as he thrust enthusiastically against his female costar. The low light turned him a deep shade of bronze, muscles defined by heavy shadows. In comparison, she was the color of pale honey and bounced as he shoved against her.

Jacob would be beautiful in candlelight.

"King Henry the Eighth," he said, finally placing the movie.

Jacob was quiet for a second and then rolled his eyes and laughed a little. "Let me guess. You remember the good ol' days when Henry here ruled over all the world?"

"I'm afraid I'm not quite _that_ old... and he really never got far past England."

Jacob snorted, but his eyes were riveted to the screen. The royal couple were up against a wall. He had her hands pinned above her head and was sucking hard on her neck.

Edward found the image intensely erotic and quickly put himself in a similar position, his mouth on Jacob's throat... It had been so long since he'd experienced the thrill of another's body... of their blood running over his lips...

"Carlisle might," he said abruptly, trying to drag his mind away from the images that were threatening to drive him mad, and all the while the steam was building, building, building.

"What?"

"Carlisle. I think he and Henry were hunting buddies for a while."

Jacob managed a strangled laugh and shifted his legs. The room was filling with the combined scents of their arousal and it was all so awkward and wrong, but Edward wanted to take advantage of Jacob's hormones. He wanted the comfort of touching. He wanted the warmth.

~*~

_I want you to fuck me_. Jacob wished he had the courage to say it out loud. Nearly every night since imprinting on Edward Cullen, he had dreamt of little but what was being so graphically displayed before them. He thought he should tell Edward to change the channel– these weren't the kinds of things friends watched together - but he couldn't get anything out past his strangled throat.

The woman was screaming in earnest now, her lover grunting like some kind of animal. What sorts of noises would Edward make? Would he make noises at all? Edward was always so tightly controlled that it was hard to imagine him making noises, but Jacob thought he would like to hear his imprinted's voice raised that way. He would like to see him lose control.

The camera tumbled as though it had been knocked off the bed and laid there at an angle that just caught the man's feet. The pair ended their desperate struggle in a series of quick, loud screams and then her feet slowly joined his on the floor and the screen went blank.

Jacob cleared his throat uncomfortably and cautioned a glance at Edward. The vampire looked... furious. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were narrowed. Both of his hands were balled into fists in his lap. Even furious he was amazing. Even sitting stiffly on the dingy orangeish brown couch that had been in Jacob's living room for as long as he could remember, he looked like some kind of masterpiece, crafted and set there for the sole and singular purpose of driving Jacob insane. Jacob imagined leaning over – it would be so easy- and placing a kiss on Edward's tense wrist where the muscles were clearly showing beneath his pale skin. Kissing up his forearm until the vampire relaxed. He imagined sliding off the couch and slipping between Edward's legs and kissing his thighs. Looking up and pleading with his imprinted to let him kiss and explore his perfect naked skin. Pushing his hands up beneath Edward's shirt the way his dream-lover had done so many times to him.

He felt desperate and no longer above begging.

_Tell me I'm yours_. _Tell me you want me._

Edward glanced over at his companion again and frowned. Jacob's heartbeat was skyrocketing and his temperature had risen so quickly that Edward could feel the increasing heat radiating even over the space that separated them. He turned to the wolf and reached out to him, snapping his fingers to get his attention. Jacob's eyes were glazed and unfocused.

"Jacob? What's wrong?"

His name on Edward's lips sent shudders down his back and he leaned back against the couch with a breathy moan. _I need you to need me_.

"Jacob!" Edward's magnificently cool hands came up to cradle his face and the damn broke as he leaned into them. Beyond the dark curtain of his shield, every fantasy he'd ever had involving his perfectly fashioned imprinted flashed through his head like a riptide and he could barely keep up.

"Jacob, tell me what's wrong!"

He pried his eyes opened. Edward's face was close to his. So close that it would be an easy thing to kiss him. His breath fogged as it hit Edward's skin and curled around them like mist.

Edward shook him a little and it only made him cry out as his dreams morphed from the vague fumbling things they had always been to a very clear image of Edward throwing him to the floor-

"Open up to me!"

Caught by his imprinted's amazing voice, Jacob could do little but comply and let his walls fall. The whole mess spilled out between them and Jacob had no control, and couldn't get it back then even if he'd wanted to, but suddenly he didn't care. He'd been trying so hard to keep Edward out of his mind for so long that he was exhausted from the effort. He didn't wan to hide from his imprinted anymore. He didn't want them to continue in this strange tense limbo. He reached up to grab Edward's arms and set their foreheads together.

_Please_.

~*~

Edward trembled under the onslaught. His control was so precarious... he hadn't felt so close to attacking a human since he was newly made. Not even that first startling wash of Bella's scent had put him so on edge.

Bella. Bella. Her name made him suddenly angry. He felt so impotent. He had lost her with barely a fight; years of fighting to keep her, fighting other vampires and her own family and his own conscience and he'd watched her walk out of his life without a word raised in his defense. And because of her cruel little trick he couldn't even mourn her. She was an open wound that wouldn't heal because he couldn't reach it to lick it clean.

He wanted to banish her. He wanted to move on.

He wanted to feel alive again.

And Jacob's pulse was thundering under his fingers like some primal drum beat, pushing his blood through that enticing beat like the very song of Life itself.

"Those are not very... friendly thoughts," he managed through clenched teeth. He closed eyes, because if he saw Jacob's face just then, his fragile control would snap. He had to keep reminding himself that it wasn't Jacob's fault that he felt this way. Jacob couldn't help himself, but _he_ should have better control than this.

"Edward..." Jacob whimpered and it made Edward respond with a sort of immediacy he hadn't felt in decades. He had wanted Bella, yes, but the want had been different. He had wanted to protect her and keep her happy and loved and safe. He had wanted nothing but tenderness for Bella.

But Jacob...

"Go," he barked, pulling his hands away from Jacob's face and clenching them into fists. He grabbed onto his pant legs as some meager defense against grabbing Jacob and throwing him to the ground. Tearing off his clothing. Tearing into his body.

He'd never wanted to be inside another person so badly in his life and he was scared of what he might prove himself capable of. He was scared he might lose Jacob's tentative trust, a trust that had been so hard to win.

"...What?" Jacob asked faintly, confused. His mind was muddled by lust and overwhelmed by Edward's scent, strong and heavy with arousal.

"Get. Out."

In the back of his mind, he thought to remind Edward that this was _his_ house, and if anyone should be leaving, it should be Edward. Of course, his barriers were in shambles, so Edward heard anyways.

"Just put a wall between us!" Edward shouted, throwing himself away from Jacob as though disgusted.

Jacob reacted immediately to the shouted order and stumbled off the couch and fled. He had always known that Edward would hate him if he knew what he was really thinking, but he didn't quite understand; he could smell Edward's arousal!  
He ran to his bedroom and slammed the door shut. His heart nearly shattered when the front door echoed the sound and he let out a strangled sob.


	17. Tis the Nightingale!

FIFTEEN:: 'Tis the Nightingale!

Edward slammed through the front door and only barely remembered to close it gently enough not to shatter it. Even then, he was fairly sure that some damage had been done to the frame. His body shook and he managed to make it to the edge of the steps before the feeling caught up to him and he collapsed. Something hot and insistent was coursing through him, making his lungs seize. Even though he didn't need the oxygen, the sudden lack was causing instinctual panic to rush up and threaten his sanity. He clutched at his throat and fisted his hands in his shirt. The fabric ripped, loud and glorious in the silence and he fought to draw in air. The cold winter air carried the scent of snow and Jacob. Jacob with his long limbs and his warm body and his scent that was intense and intensely _male_. Jacob who was everything that Bella wasn't. Jacob who _wanted_ him, like Bella had, but was strong enough to take him where Bella had been incapable.

The pulsing surges of lust were as shocking and all-consuming as the first time he'd felt bloodlust. What would Jacob feel like? What would he taste like? Sweet and rich and molten hot sliding down his throat...

He shook himself hard and told himself that the last thing he wanted to do was turn around.

The last thing he wanted to do was run through the front door.

The _very_ last thing he wanted to do was grab Jacob Black and throw him against the wall.

And yet, he was already pushing himself to his feet. He swayed like a drunk man as he pushed the door open and stumbled back into the house. His legs shook and his hands trembled as he half-ran, half-crawled down the hallway that was becoming so familiar. He could hear nothing but Jacob's frenzied heartbeat as he threw the door open.

Jacob met him in the doorway and their bodies connected like they were meant to fit together. He turned and slammed the werewolf into the wall. The paneling shook and gave beneath Jacob's body, creating a depression he fit into neatly. His hands were like fire and they were everywhere as he pulled off the tatters of Edward's torn shirt.

The shifter pressed his cheek to Edward's and scratched his nails down the vampire's back. His breath was scalding hot against Edward's skin and his words made the normally calm vampire see red.

"I want you to fuck me." There. He'd finally said it.

Edward whimpered in a kind of helplessness and fisted his hand in Jacob's tee-shirt. He ripped it away with one easy motion. Jacob's sweats were like tissue paper in his hands and the remnants of flannel fell to the carpet. He pressed him harder to the wall and Jacob wrapped around him like a living, breathing fire-god given human form.

"I've wanted you for so long," Jacob moaned, his liquid eyes fiery and intense.

Edward made a half-strangled sound and caught his legs in a grip that was sure to leave bruises – for the two seconds it would take Jacob to heal them. He lifted the shifter off his feet and Jacob wrapped his legs easily around Edward's hips. Jacob curled his long body and tucked his head against Edward's neck. His lips were soft and warm and his tongue was wet and warm and his teeth against Edward's skin were like tiny heated daggers.

Instinct flared up and Edward opened his mouth to the return the favor. He grabbed Jacob's silky hair and jerked his head to the side, exposing the graceful curve of his neck and that alluring, visible thump of his pulse. Edward grinned and swooped down-

_STOP_!!!

Something yanked him back and he stopped, a growl ripping out of his throat. Jacob was whimpering, warm, _willing_ and something was holding him back!

_Don't, Edward!_ Seth's terrified voice.

Edward yanked away and slammed his fist into the wall, dropping Jacob's legs and pushing away from him. He spun back, shoving Jacob hard into the indent. "I could hurt you," he whispered. "I _want_ to. God help me, I want to, Jacob."

Jacob shivered and shoved his hands into Edward's hair, holding him there. He crushed his mouth to his imprinted's and moaned against Edward's lips. The vampire hesitated, but only for a moment and he was returning Jacob's fervent kiss.

"You can't hurt me," Jacob told him, breaking for air and setting his forehead against Edward's. "You _can't_."

Edward jerked him away from the wall with a deep snarl. They spun and ran into something – maybe the desk – and something shattered as it fell. Jacob was fighting with Edward's belt as they walked backwards to the bed and it was Edward who finally stopped to shove his pants down and kick them away. They fell to the bed, landing in an easy tangle that saw Jacob stretched out over his imprinted's perfect body. The bed groaned under their sudden weight and gave out. The legs buckled and the bed frame hit the the floor with a loud _smash_ that was barely noticed by either of them.

Jacob sat up and took a second to just admire Edward's perfect body. He spread his hands over Edward's chest and marveled at the contrast between them.

"You're beautiful," he moaned and it was almost a sob. Edward's strong hands closed on his wrists and he yanked, surging up to meet Jacob half way in another searing kiss.

"Tell me you want me," the vampire growled, and Jacob did sob. Frustration and need was boiling so close to the surface that he thought he was going to break apart.

"I've never wanted anything but you," he confessed. It was every bit the truth. He had never known the sting of real desire until he'd met Edward's eyes and felt the universe shift beneath his feet.

Edward fumbled at the bedside table and managed to knock everything off of it except the bottle of lotion he was looking for. He was a little terrified by his clumsiness, but everything seemed to be fuzzy and moving in fast-forward. He could barely see through the haze that had descended over his vision and all he could think of was Jacob and the need burning inside of him, the steam waiting to break him apart at the seams.

In a far corner of his mind, Seth sat uncomfortable and nervous, ready to yank him back again if Jacob's pulse grew too enticing. When he came out of his strange haze, he would be grateful to his packmate, but for now he just ignored him and Seth tried to make himself inconspicuous.

"This is going to hurt," he warned, and it was all he could do to restrain himself even that small measure. Even the lotion felt warm to his frigid skin and he coated himself messily.

"I don't care," Jacob whispered. His body was trembling and he had no idea if he was concerned about the promised pain or shaking in anticipation, but held on tightly to Edward's shoulders and rode through the waves of shudders.

Penetration was so swift and precise that Edward was seated flush against him before Jacob's body even registered the intrusion. His back arched automatically and he let out a startled string of curses. Edward was clutching him hard, face pressed into his chest as he drew in frantic breaths.

"_Fuckgodamnit_... Jesus, Edward!"

"Jacob-" He thought he should apologize, but he was so thoroughly overwhelmed by Jacob's scent and the sudden crush of being encased in his body that he was afraid to open his mouth again. It would be so easy... he wouldn't even have to reach his throat... the perfect swell of his pectoral would do, and his heart was _right there_ pounding, almost singing to him with invitation.

"Already healing," Jacob interrupted his thoughts breathlessly and Edward thought if he could just keep him talking he would be okay. Jacob seemed inclined to oblige him and kept up a litany of nonsense as he slowly lifted himself on trembling legs and fell back.

Edward braced one hand back on the bed and used the other to steady Jacob as they rocked slowly. Their pace had slowed to something less frantic while Jacob accustomed himself to the unfamiliar, overwhelming sensation and Edward fought to keep control of himself. Concentrating very hard on what he was doing, Edward paid strict attention to Jacob's face. The rapturous look there was almost enough to distract Edward from his increasing pulse, but only almost.

Jacob's thoughts mirrored his incoherent babble and Edward took it all in with nothing short of awe. When the shifter curled his long body and sought his mouth, the vampire was only too happy to stretch up into the kiss. If he could just keep his mouth busy...

He moaned into Jacob's mouth, holding him tighter as the other man sped up suddenly, slamming his body down to meet Edward's shallow upward thrusts.

"_F-fuck_," Jacob moaned, breaking away from their kiss and throwing his head back. He whined in frustration, hips moving in earnest and hand slipping between their bodies to stroke himself. He was already so close and his core temperature was rising steadily at the same rate as his pulse. Edward held his breath and thrust up hard, feeling himself getting swept up in Jacob's struggle. It had been so long...

"I'm coming," Jacob warned, sounding almost shocked. "God, I-" He caught the back of Edward's head with his free hand hand and kissed him hard, fairly screaming into his mouth as his orgasm washed over him. His body tightened and convulsed and Edward tore away from his mouth, gasping, his bloodlust momentarily lost in the tide. He held Jacob securely and flipped them over, dropping Jacob on his back even before the last waves of his orgasm had passed.

Bracing his forearms on either side of Jacob's body, he thrust almost desperately into him. A normal human would sustain considerable damage from his efforts, but Jacob merely wrapped his long legs securely around Edward's hips and moaned encouragement and pleas while Edward fought for his peak.

His orgasm was almost painful in its intensity and his muscles locked as he fought to withstand the debilitating waves. Jacob pressed small kisses to his jaw and neck and stroked his back in an almost soothing manner while Edward slowly spiraled down and gradually relaxed.

"Holy fuck," Jacob announced once it seemed like Edward was coherent again.

Edward laughed and gently withdrew from Jacob's warm body, but didn't give up his comfortable place between his lover's thighs. He set his head against Jacob's chest and listened to his heartbeat even out. Jacob ran his hands distractedly through Edward's hair while he caught his breath.

"Why haven't we done this before, again?" he asked.

"I think there was something about hate," Edward reminded him and he didn't mention Bella, but it was almost like she was suddenly perched at the foot of the bed.

"Oh yeah," Jacob agreed. He stretched and yawned, rolling them over smoothly so they were both on their sides. "Good thing I love you," he murmured.

And just like that, Bella Swan was banished and Edward stared at Jacob in mute horror. As the shifter drifted off into contended sleep, Edward laid in the circle of his arms amidst the carnage they had wreaked on Jacob's room and thought it was quite possible that he had never hated himself so much in his life.

~*~

Seth trembled against the wall, drawing in deep gasping breaths of moist heavy air. The evidence of his embarrassing introduction to voyeurism was quickly disappearing down the drain, leaving him with only the knowledge of his shameful participation and weak trembling limbs.

He guessed that he was lucky he was at least alone with Edward had snapped and decided fucking Jacob Black was a good idea.

_God, he's like my _brother_!_ Seth thought, horrified. Being in the pack had blurred a lot of lines and there was a strange undercurrent of sexual tension between all of them, because they all shared one another's thoughts and fantasies. But Seth had never had a direct fantasy about one of his packmates, and now he may as well have been in Edward's place for all the mystery that was involved in the situation. His face burned and he ran his hand roughly through his soaking hair.

His first sexual experience and it had to be vicarious through Edward with Jacob!

_I'm sorry_.

Seth jumped and swore, slipping and landing hard on the floor of the shower.

_Sorry again,_ Edward said more gently, softening his voice. _I didn't mean for you to be involved. I wasn't thinking very clearly_

_Yeah...kind of caught that_. Seth cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably on the shower floor. Water was hitting him straight in the face and it was starting to go cold. How long had he been in the shower now?

_I'm sorry for...er...interrupting,_ Seth managed, his face burning.

_Thank you very much for 'interrupting'.... I think I would have killed him if you hadn't. _

_Um... you're welcome? Just next time can you... I don't know... warn me?_ He couldn't even contemplate the disaster it would have been if he'd been in his normal place next to Jasper... in his wolf form.

_I'll keep that in mind_, Edward promised. His voice sounded subdued and Seth worried at it.

_You didn't do anything wrong, you know_, he tried. _I mean... you almost did something wrong with the whole...bitting thing. But the other stuff was okay. _Seth blushed and felt like he was the last person in the world that should be giving _Edward_ advice on sex. He was a virgin and Edward was a zillion years old.

_ Thank you, Seth.... and I'm _ really_ not that old,_ Edward added. There was just enough amusement in his tone to put Seth to ease a little and he managed a small vocal laugh.

_Sure thing, grandpa._ His eyes widened when he realized what he'd unintentionally correlated and he groaned. Edward kindly said nothing and fashioned himself a barrier, giving Seth a little privacy while he spiraled through a mini-breakdown.

~*~

Edward remained still and silent in Jacob's arms for hours and watched him sleep. He seemed so young and innocent with his face relaxed in repose.

And Edward had nearly killed him. Would have killed him if it weren't for his new little pack. How had he ever tricked himself into thinking that he was staying for Jacob's benefit? That he was somehow keeping him _safe_? How had he managed to convince himself that he had Jacob's best interests at heart?

The monster will always prove himself in the end.

Edward gently disentangled himself and slid off the bed. He cast a despairing glance at the wreckage of Jacob's room and looked back down at the sleeping werewolf. He barely remembered that he'd once hated this man, and could hardly understand why.

He reached down and stroked his fingers, feather-light, down Jacob's face. He had loved Bella and had been too selfish to stay away. His selfishness caused her death.

He wouldn't make the same mistake with Jacob.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, too softly for even a shifter to hear, but Jacob stirred nonetheless, brows drawing into a small frown. Edward pulled his pants back on and withdrew silently from the room, closing the door behind him.

Moving quietly through the house, Edward mutely took in the damage he'd caused on his hapless course to Jacob's room, each lopsided picture or displaced item reminding him of his horrible lapse in control. He silently retrieved each item and replaced them in their customary positions, grateful that he at least didn't break anything. Jacob's room was an entirely different matter.

"I know you haven't been human in a long time..."

Edward froze with his hand extended for the doorknob and cursed his preoccupation – he hadn't even noticed Billy in the kitchen.

"But it's generally considered impolite to sneak off in the morning," Billy continued.

Unable to think of what to say, Edward remained silent.

"I'm making breakfast," Billy told him, pulling things out of the refrigerator. "Why don't you take a seat and you can bring Jacob his breakfast in bed."

He suggested it so authoritatively, that Edward had to physically stop himself from turning automatically for the table. His hand dropped to his side and he didn't move.

"Trust me," Billy went on to say, "It's the little things that keep a relationship together. I still regret that I didn't bring my wife breakfast in bed more often. Little things."

Edward swallowed. "I am not staying, Mr. Black."

"Oh? Have something more important to do at five in the morning?" He knew. He knew what Edward was doing and he was giving him a chance to turn back.

The vampire straightened and reminded himself that _this_ was in Jacob's best interest. "There is no further reason for me to remain, Mr. Black. Good day."

He reached for the door again and winced when a spatula hit the counter hard. He could hear Billy's furious thoughts and closed his eyes against the tide.

"I never took you for so much of a coward, Edward Cullen," Billy spat. Edward had never heard so much venom in the elder Black's voice and was a little stunned by it.

"It is none of your concern," Edward growled through gritted teeth. Why didn't he just leave? There was no reason he had to explain himself to this man!

"What's going on?"

Edward's head dropped to his chest and he clenched his teeth hard, eyes closing tightly. He could feel the weight of Jacob's stare on his back and he thought he would prefer being torn apart.

"I'm leaving," he said, straightening and making his voice firm when he felt anything but.

Jacob's confusion and anxiety were like a heatwave, but the shifter made himself sound casual and said, "Okay. I'll see you later."

Edward could just say, "Sure," and walk out the door and keep walking. He could be long gone before Jacob realized he wasn't coming back.

_What are you doing?_ Seth's frantic voice suddenly intruded on his internal debate and he wanted to break something.

_Stay out of it._

"No, you won't," he told Jacob tightly. He turned the knob and jerked the door open. Billy's thoughts were a maelstrom of fury and Jacob was still open to him. The situation hadn't quite penetrated the shifter's confused mind.

Seth was having no such trouble and was snarling in wordless fury while he tried to gather himself into something more coherent.

He got one foot over the threshold before Jacob caught him and yanked him back, slamming the door shut. He was so startled by the sudden violence, that Edward allowed himself to be flipped around and shoved into the door. The tortured door protested the new abuse, added on to what it had already sustained between the two of them.

"What the fuck is going on?" Jacob demanded, an angry flush spreading over his face and naked chest. He was dressed only in his boxers and his necklace, and his temperature was rising so quickly that the metal felt cool against his skin. His heart was pounding hard enough to be painful and for the first time since imprinting on this infuriating man, Jacob wanted to hit him.

"You didn't think I would stay around forever, did you?" Edward asked, lifting his upper lip in a nasty sneer. It was easy to retreat back to cruel superiority. Jacob's eyes narrowed, Billy's mind went blank with fury and Seth shrieked. "You got what you wanted," Edward continued, glancing down at Jacob's half-clad body. "What you've been _begging_ for-" It was unnecessary, but he couldn't stop. The more it hurt, the easier it would be for Jacob to move on.

_No, it won't, Edward, damnit! Stop!_

Edward ignored him and ignored the stricken look slowly dawning on Jacob's face. Sometimes Edward hated that he had this weapon. He hated that he knew everyone's every vulnerabilities. He hated that he was enough of a monster to use them.

_I hate the kind of monster I am_.

_Then stop this! You don't understand what you're doing to him!_

"_I_ got what _I_ wanted, and now I'm leaving. This is not a difficult concept to grasp, even for a canine of your low intelligence." He smirked and Jacob's hands went slack on his chest.

Jacob searched Edward's face desperately. "What the hell are you... what about..." Numbness was washing over him and somewhere, he wanted to rage. He wanted to push away like he didn't care that Edward was tearing his heart out. He wanted to smirk and hand it over and pretend he didn't care while it got torn apart. He wanted to tear it apart himself, just to prove he could. He wanted to hit the man. He wanted to walk away.

He wanted to die.

"_Us_? Is that the word you're looking for, mutt?"

Jacob winced at Edward's soft voice and dropped his hands away from the vampire's perfect chest.

_Edward, please! He's never going to get over you! Don't do this!_

_ He'll get over me. He's strong enough._

_ NO, he's not! Goddamnit if I'd known you were going to do this I would have let you kill him!!_ Seth screamed.

Edward felt Seth's fury like a punch to the gut, but he was too far in and he couldn't stop. "There is no _us_," he whispered, softer now, his resolve fading in the light of the shattered look passing over Jacob's face.

"We shouldn't exist at all," Edward mourned and that was true enough. "Yet alone as an _us_."

Jacob was backing away from him and his mind was blank. Not because there was a wall, but because there was _nothing_.

"I thought..." Jacob hesitated, reluctant to voice what he _thought_. He remembered that little voice that had whispered _what if he hurts you?_ And hated that it was singing _I told you so_!

"I know what you _thought_. It was an amusing show," Edward managed. He didn't know how he was drawing in enough air to speak.

_You're killing him_,Seth moaned.

"You are the sun..."

Jacob heard the words faintly as he hit the wall. Next to him, a framed photo shuddered and fell, shattering when it hit the ground. It was obscenely loud over his pulse and he winced, staring sightlessly at his six year-old face, pressed close to Bella Swan's seven year-old face. They were smiling. He was missing one front tooth. Her hair was up in pig-tails that curled.

"And I am the moon."

_You are his whole world, Edward_!

"We don't exist in the same sky. Goodbye."

_Eclipses are not meant to last, Seth._

_You're a fucking coward!_

_ I know._

_~*~_

Jacob slid slowly down the wall and hit the floor. Strangely, the worst part of all of it was that Edward had never said his name.

_I love the way you say my name_. It felt like so long ago. How had he let himself become so vulnerable?

_I've died_, he had thought then. Maybe he had died then. Maybe this wasn't heaven at all. Maybe this was some weird hell and someone was punishing him for Bella.

Edward jerked the door open again and walked away. The door slammed and with all the delicacy of a battering ram on glass, Jacob's universe crumbled around him. He felt like his ribcage was being pulled apart. Abruptly, he understood why Bella had always hugged herself like she was trying to keep from falling apart, and he wrapped his arms around his ribs in a tight hug. He didn't understand how it could hurt so badly... but Edward was everything he cared about, his entire universe in one hateful, beautiful package, and the universe was ripping away from him.

He felt alone. Adrift.

He thought he saw his father flying past him and he didn't care. _Who did I piss off_? Jacob wondered faintly.

_Tell me you want me._

"I've never wanted anything but you," he whispered.

_I could hurt you... I want to, Jacob_.

Who knew that Jacob Black could be hurt? Funny. Imagine that. Surerightyoubetcha.

_I'm sorry_.

Had he said that? No, but the delusion was nice.

"It's a good thing I love you."


	18. Volcanoes and TugofWar

SIXTEEN:: Volcanoes and Tug-of-War

_Edward, stop, goddamn you! Go back! You can't just leave him and expect him to be okay! You are _everything_ he lives for. The _only_ thing he lives for!_

_ He'll find something else to live for, and he'll _ live_. _

_ Stop sulking, you asshole! What is the matter with you!?_

_ I almost _ killed _him, Seth! What am I supposed to do?! Ask your permission and have you babysit me anytime we have sex? _

_ You can't crucify yourself for one lapse in control! You can't punish_ him_ because of your lapse in control! What is wrong with all you fucking leeches and your goddamned quick fixes?! It's too hard to control yourself, so you just take away the temptation and fuck who ever you hurt in the process?! You self righteous bastard, you've really convinced yourself that this is for _his_ benefit when you're really just too fucking scared and too fucking weak to man the fuck up. Is this why you left Bella too, huh?! Because that turned out really damn well, didn't it? Fancy a trip to Italy, Edward?!_

Edward made it halfway through the yard. He froze, fury welling up in his chest like magma. If Seth was standing in front of him, he probably would have hit him.

_Go right ahead! You know where I am!_

He was right. Edward knew he was right, but it was every bit a lose-lose situation. If he stayed, one day he would sink his teeth into Jacob's throat and taste his death. If he left...

The first wave dropped him to his knees and he choked.

_What is that?!_ Despair was welling over him in cloying waves, lashing him to the ground.

_That's Jacob. That's what you're doing to him_.

_No..._ Edward moaned and grabbed his head. Jacob's helplessness was pushing into his pores, invading his lungs, filling up every free space. He imagined it was what burning would feel like and screamed. _No, it doesn't work this way! I can't_ feel_ things from people! I can't_ feel_!_

But he was feeling Jacob. "I'm sorry! Please, stop," he pleaded, curling onto his side in the snow. He was being consumed and he would have given anything for it to stop. Even Carlisle's venom had not burned this way! He tore at his skin like he could rip himself open and tear out whatever was causing this burning, shooting pain. His nails opened long rents in his chest and the snow felt _cold_ on the open wounds.

_Edward...?_ Seth asked quietly, fear creeping into his tone.

Darkness welled up and the silence was like blessed drowning. Edward gave over to it gratefully and saw nothing more.

~*~

Billy made it out the door just in time to see Edward drop to his knees and grab his head. He watched in stunned incomprehension for several seconds before it occurred to him that something was really wrong.

"Jacob! _JACOB!_" he shouted. Edward was tearing at his chest and coming away with long strips of pale white flesh. He turned and pushed himself back into the house. Jacob was staring at nothing like the world was burning around him.

For him, it probably was.

He reached out and shook his son's shoulder hard. "JACOB!" He slapped him and Jacob slowly looked up at him. It took only a bare second for Jacob to register Edward's screaming and he was on his feet so fast that Billy almost didn't see him move.

Jacob skidded to a halt in the snow, dropping to his knees at Edward's side. He was curled into a tight ball, his arms clutching his head as though to protect it. Or hold it together.

"Edward?!" He shook the vampire, but Edward was still as though dead. Jacob's heart was thundering brokenly against his aching ribcage and _god,_ it hurt, but he ignored it because something was wrong with his imprinted. He wedged his shoulder against Edward's knees and tried to pry him apart and force him to lay flat.

"Call Carlisle!" he screamed in his father's general direction. Moving an unresponsive vampire was, or so Jacob imagined, about as easy as pulling down a draw bridge that was locked in place, but he finally managed to get Edward's legs extended and pried his hands away from his face.

"My god..." Jacob stared in mute horror at the damage Edward had inflicted on himself. The snow was shivering as the pieces of flesh Edward had torn off were slowly pulling back to his body and for a second, Jacob thought he was going to be ill. He took several frantic breaths through his nose and started grabbing blindly at the pieces and piling them over Edward's chest along with whatever handfuls of icy powder he pulled up in the process. He pushed at the mess until the pieces sealed themselves back into the long cuts and his chest was once again the perfectly chiseled thing Jacob had admired the night before.

"I don't know what to do," Jacob confessed to his unconscious imprinted. For lack of direction, he started CPR, knowing that he wasn't helping anything, but needing to do _something_.

~*~

His fingertips drifted smoothly over the keys. Edward's music was stretched out across the stand, a new song that had been haunting him night and day since he'd first heard it drifting through the house. Carlisle was an effective, technical player. He could read music and play it exactly as it was written, with an ear towards memorization. He could hear a note and identify it immediately, identify a song he had heard only once before within two measures or less. But his skill was hard-won and the product of decades of practice rather than due to talent. Edward was enormously talented and had been even before the Change had given him an eternity to perfect his talent. Carlisle was frankly envious, but enjoyed nothing more than to listen to his oldest 'son' play.

A sudden racket behind him made him pause, the last chord hanging in the air. He turned to see Seth scrambling frantically down the stairs, his nails clicking and shrieking on the wood. Jasper followed behind him, trying to catch his 'puppy,' but Seth kept squirming away from him. He was amazingly talented at drawing Jasper into games and they had been playing chase and fetch almost non-stop since Seth joined their little family. There was something less playful about this, though, and Carlisle turned away from the keys and stood.

Seth came to a messy stop at his feet and Jasper pounced on him, bearing the wolf down the floor. Seth didn't fight away from him, but shifted in Jasper's arms, drawing a startled sound out of the vampire, who suddenly found himself holding onto a slender naked boy instead of a giant furry puppy. Jasper released him immediately and wandered away, calling after his dog.

"What's the matter, Seth?" Carlisle reached down to pull the boy to his feet.

"Edward needs you!" Seth gasped out, eyes frantic.

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure! He and Jacob got into a fight and then I was fighting with him and then he... I don't know... I think he passed out. I can't feel him anymore!"

"Passed out?" Carlisle's brow was drawn together.

"That's what it feels like," Seth confirmed, nodding.

"He's at Jacob's?"

"Yes. I'll come with you." Seth turned, intending to go find clothing, but Carlisle put a hand on his shoulder and turned him back around.

"You'd best stay here with Jasper, Seth, or he'll come looking for you." Carlisle smiled gently, gently squeezing the distressed teen's shoulders. "I can move faster alone," he said quietly and Seth opened his mouth to protest, but quieted and nodded. "The best thing you can do is keep Jasper occupied. You'll be the first to know when Edward wakes up."

That was true at least. Seth wasn't happy about it, but he nodded and stepped away from the doctor. He was getting very good at shifting in-doors and didn't disturb anything as he phased. He gave Carlisle a look over his shoulder and then barked loudly. Jasper appeared moments later and Seth took off, running for the back door which was now kept permanently open. Rosalie had made a sneered comment about needing a doggy-door the size of the door, but she'd been mostly ignored.

Carlisle was half-way to La Push before his phone rang. "I will be there presently," he promised before Billy Black could even draw in a breath to speak.

Despite the fact that he traversed the remaining distance in a matter of minutes, Jacob was still cursing and pacing anxiously when he arrived to find Edward laying motionless on the living room floor.

"What took you so long?!" Jacob growled. His eyes were wild and his body was trembling faintly.

Carlisle did not immediately kneel beside his son, but instead caught Jacob by both shoulders and forced the wolf to meet his eye. "Calm down. Take a deep breath."

"What the hell are you doing?! You should be looking at _him_!"

"Jacob! Breathe!"

Drawing ragged breaths in through his nose, Jacob glared murderously at the vampire, but he could feel himself reacting to Carlisle's calming presence and was slowly gaining control of himself. Once he felt a little less likely to phase in the middle of the living room, he nodded and Carlisle released him. The vampire glanced over at Billy, who was keeping himself out of the way. He looked outwardly unperturbed, but his eyes were a little on the wide side and his pulse was racing. The elder Black nodded at him and Carlisle gave the man a reassuring smile before kneeling at Edward's side.

He made a show of lifting the younger vampire's eyelids and feeling over his skull, though he already knew what had happened to his son.

"Tell me exactly what happened, Jacob."

Jacob ran both hands over his face and yanked at his hair. He swallowed hard. "Last night we... I mean..."

Carlisle took pity on him and didn't look up, but offered, "You had sexual intercourse." He could smell that much without having to be told.

Jacob blushed furiously, darting a glance over to his father. Billy might have been a statue for all that he reacted to the news. Jacob reasoned that he'd probably been loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood and blushed harder. He cleared his throat and continued.

"When I woke up this morning, he said he was leaving."

Carlisle glanced up, but Jacob was no longer looking at him. He looked miserable and withdrawn.

"He said that'd he'd gotten what he wanted and was leaving," Jacob whispered as though he was reminding himself of a nightmare.

"What happened then?" Carlisle prompted when Jacob fell silent.

The shifter shook his head angrily. "I don't know. It felt like someone was trying to pull my chest apart and then..." He gestured helplessly to Edward's unmoving form.

"Did he fall like this?"

"No... I...uh... made him lay flat. He was outside... I moved him." Jacob was chewing on his lower lip and clenching his hands. "Was that okay?"

"Yes. You did well, Jacob, but there's nothing to worry about." Carlisle offered the distraught shifter a reassuring smile. "He's just sleeping." It was not completely the truth, but the last thing Carlisle needed was a hysterical shifter.

"....Sleeping?" Jacob asked numbly.

"Yes."

"I thought you didn't sleep!" Jacob's voice rose with his temper until it was almost accusatory.

"Not like you sleep, no. In fact, this would be a little closer to what a human would consider a 'coma,' but it's as close to sleep as we get." He could see Jacob was struggling with himself and continued speaking as he crossed Edward's hands over his stomach. Jacob winced at the image, but Carlisle feigned ignorance. "The reason you sleep is, in part, so your mind has a chance to reset. While you're asleep, you convert short term memory to long term memory, among other things. Our minds still retain memory, but in a different way. For us, years of memories can still be considered 'short term,' but eventually it has to be converted." He sat back on his heels and set his hands on his thighs, looking up at the confused shifter.

"To that end, a vampire will go to 'sleep' once every decade or so."

"So... we get into a... a fight and he just... goes to sleep?" Jacob asked. His voice had lowered and his eyes were narrowed to suspicious slits even as he stumbled over the word. Carlisle guessed it was a little more than a mere fight, but didn't press.

The doctor made a slightly amused sound. "Well, I'm sure there was something else involved. He was ready to sleep, but not for a few months yet. For him to have just... passed out like this, there must have been some stress placed on his mind, forcing it to shut down to protect itself, much as a human will pass out when placed under undue stress."

"Oh." He didn't look convinced and Carlisle didn't envy his son the discussion he was sure to be having when he woke.

"We prefer to be kept warm while sleeping," Carlisle announced, temporarily defusing the storm gathering around Jacob's head.

"Why?" Jacob asked, his brows drawn together.

"A vampire that remains in one position for too long will begin to stiffen and settle, and eventually be unable to move. In fact, we are the source of most of the world's miraculous bleeding statues." Carlisle chuckled slightly. "The only way to wake a vampire left sleeping too long is to feed them gradual amounts of blood... depending on how long they've slept, it might take days or decades to free a frozen vampire."

Jacob's eyes widened anxiously and Carlisle hastened to reassure him. "Don't be concerned, I doubt Edward has reached such a stage of depression to sleep long enough to be dangerous. It is mostly the older vampires who let themselves stiffen. All the same, he should be kept warm so waking up is easier. Do you know the myth that a vampire must sleep in the earth?"

"Yes..." Jacob said slowly, his mind still trying to process the information while he struggled to reconcile his conflicting desires; something was wrong with his imprinted and he felt compelled to stay with him, but at the same time... Edward didn't want him.

"It was generated by a sleeping vampire's desire for warmth. In the past, we would bury ourselves before sleeping, both for protection and in an attempt to stay warm. Of course, this was almost exclusively in more equatorial climates, and often on the slopes of active volcanoes."

Seeming to have heard nothing else, Jacob interrupted, "We have to bury him?!" His eyes were wide with a sort of mortal terror that Carlisle understood, but couldn't feel.

"Certainly not," Carlisle said with a soft laugh. His manner was just unconcerned enough to keep Jacob from having a complete breakdown without crossing over the line and offending him. Later, the shifter would appreciate Carlisle's bedside manner immensely.

"Now we have far more sophisticated, not to mention safer means of keeping ourselves warm. Namely heaters."

"Oh."

Carlisle hesitated and then decided it would be safe to stretch the truth a little. "It's best if we don't move him... waking up can be very disorientating."

"Oh...umm..." Jacob looked helplessly over at his father. Billy was looking at Carlisle speculatively. The vampire smiled back benignly, but he sure that the other man had picked up on his little falsehood.

"Can he be moved into the bedroom at least?" Billy asked, his eyes never leaving Carlisle's face. The elder Black's jaw was clenched and his hands were tight on the arms of his chair.

Carlisle inclined his head slightly, acknowledging how difficult the suggestion must have been for Billy as a parent. "I think that would be safe."

"No," Jacob said after a minute. "He doesn't... He doesn't want me near him." He straightened, doing his best to keep his expression passive, but he looked perilously near tears.

Carlisle glanced over to Billy. The man said nothing but his expression was furious. "Ah... then I must ask you a great favor, Jacob." The teen wouldn't meet his eye, but cocked his head enough to show that he was listening. "Sleeping is common and natural. It is not unheard of for a vampire to 'pass out,' but generally only if they have been neglecting their sleeping patterns. I am sure there is no cause for alarm, but all the same, I would like him to be kept warm and monitored. I realize that what I am asking is very difficult, but I would consider it a great personal favor if you would consent to keeping an eye on him until he wakes up."

Jacob ran a hand over his face. He wanted to laugh, or cry or scream or any combination of the three. No matter what he gave, no matter what was taken from him, every time he was at that point where he was sure there was nothing more, another little thread was grasped at and pulled.

Carlisle was asking him to stay with someone who hated him enough to fuck him and leave him, and he couldn't say no, because it meant another few days with his imprinted, another few days of holding on to his universe before it walked away from him again. He nodded faintly and Carlisle reached out to grab his shoulder. The doctor squeezed gently and then passed him into the hall, leaving Jacob alone with his father and his unconscious lover.  
"Jacob..." Billy said quietly. He wanted to tell his son that he didn't have to do it. In any normal situation, it would have been unthinkable that Carlisle had even suggested it. But the situation wasn't normal. He sighed and said nothing more, and Jacob remained locked in his personal misery, staring down at Edward's relaxed face like a shipwrecked man sighting land and knowing he'll never reach it.

~*~

Carlisle pushed Jacob's bedroom door open and silently cataloged the damage. The bed was in ruins and it was unreasonable to suggest that two men well over six feet tall spend any length of time on the twin mattress. Edward was hardly in a position to care, but he doubted Jacob would find the arrangement comfortable. From the devastated look on his face, Carlisle privately felt that Jacob probably wouldn't care either, but he was asking enough of the shifter without imposing physical discomfort as well. He moved quickly, clearing away the debris from what looked like a miniature hurricane. He tossed the destroyed bed frame through the window, pushed the mattress against the wall and made a mental note to have the bed frame taken away and replaced. He stretched the blankets out over the cleared space and made his way back into the living room.

Jacob was standing where he'd left him, hands clenched at his sides. His shoulders trembled very slightly.

"I've taken the liberty of disposing of your bed frame," he said gently. "I thought you might be more comfortable with more space. I will replace it."

"Sure, sure.... whatever."

When Carlisle knelt at Edward's head and slipped his hands under the vampire's shoulders, Jacob hesitated only a moment before taking Edward's feet. They maneuvered the unconscious vampire carefully through the hall and into the room. They arranged him on the blankets and Jacob remained standing, staring around his room as though he didn't recognize it.

"How long is he going to sleep?" the shifter asked faintly.

"I can't say for sure. Maybe a few days... maybe a week or more. A lot has happened in the last few years that he needs to settle and come to grips with." He tried to think of something comforting to say, but Jacob merely nodded and knelt slowly at Edward's side. He hesitated and then curled around his sleeping imprinted.

Carlisle backed out of the room silently and hoped that when his wayward son woke, he would realize what a prize he had in Jacob and stop mistreating him and the possibility of their relationship over Bella.

Billy was still waiting in the living room, his expression serious and fierce.

"He's my son," Billy announced quietly. "Do you understand?"

Carlisle tipped his head and watched the man carefully. He had never sired a son of his own, a fact that had eaten at him for centuries, until Edward. "I understand."

Billy nodded woodenly and turned away. Carlisle smiled grimly at his retreating back and then turned and went home.

~*~

"I am worried about him, Carlisle," Esme whispered, wrapping her arms around him. "What could have made him just... pass out?"

"I spoke with Seth a little more." Carlisle curled his arms around his wife's shoulders and kissed her forehead. "He said Edward was feeling something from Jacob and just collapsed."

"Feeling something?" She pulled her head away from his chest to look up at him. "His talent isn't empathic."

"I know. That's what concerns me..." his voice trailed off and Esme set her head back to his chest.

"What was that boy thinking?" she asked after another minute of silence. "Didn't he learn anything from that debacle with Bella?"

Her ire was almost endearing, and if he wasn't so concerned for his son, he might have laughed.

~*~

Jasper was holding a rope. Knots had been tied in the thick rope at irregular intervals. Seth tipped his head curiously and watched Jasper listlessly swing the rope. He was laying in the yard, recovering from a vigorous bout of wrestling that Jasper had been watching from the deck. Now that he'd noticed the rope he found he was insatiably curious and crept forward on his belly, eyes following every swing. With a wolfy grin, he decided that he had never wanted anything as much as he wanted that rope and kept scooting closer to the deck.

Jasper pretended not to notice and he inched a little closer, his tail held carefully against the ground. The rope swung again, danging off the porch and Seth watched it closely. He was almost there... he lunged forward- and the rope was pulled out of his reach.

Growling in irritation, Seth looked up at Jasper. The vampire was giving him a faintly interested look, the rope held up above his head. Seth gathered himself and sprung, catching the lowest knot. He dropped back to the ground and gave the rope a triumphant yank. Jasper blinked as though he didn't quite understand the game. He pulled back experimentally.

Seth dug in and snarled, yanking back on the rope and shaking his head vigorously. Unseated, Jasper stumbled off the deck and into the yard.

"What's the matter?" Jasper asked, his brows drawing together in confusion. He let the rope go and Seth bounded into a victory lap, flinging the rope joyously. Jasper watched him with a bemused expression until Seth brought the rope back and sat patiently in front of him, the rope held firmly between his teeth.

Jasper reached for the rope again, but Seth backed away, spinning in a mischievous circle. He sat down again and waited for Jasper to approach. This time, he let the vampire take the rope and yanked hard as soon as he had a grip on the other end. The force would probably have pulled a human's arm right out of his socket, but Jasper merely stumbled forward half a step and pulled back. When Seth pulled again, he let it go and watched with a frankly baffled expression as the wolf performed another victory lap and circled back to stand in front of him.

~*~

Alice watched their antics from her bedroom window and smiled slightly. She had put the rope in Jasper's hands for exactly this result and it was nice to see him moving around, and yet... he was getting worse. He had no impetus at all and was losing touch with reality quickly, almost as though he was reverting more and more to a child-like state. He didn't move at all unless he was following his 'puppy' and even then, sometimes he seemed to forget the arrangement and stared at Seth like he didn't know him. How long before he forgot their names? Forgot that he was a vampire and needed to drink? How long before he forgot her and everything they had been to each other?

She turned away slowly and put her head in her hands. She had considered every possibility from writing Isabella a letter to going to Italy alone. Every turn seemed to end up with one or both of them dead. Several visions had even resulted in Seth crushed and bleeding at Isabella's feet.

She thought of little else, and could not come to an acceptable conclusion. And now Edward was _sleeping_. Without him, their chances spiraled down even further to guaranteed death, whereas Edward's presence created some ambiguity. There was a chance, with Edward, that Isabella might be more... receptive to their request.

Before Edward's little fainting spell, any time Alice attempted to look into their future with Edward's help, it vanished, indicating that Jacob was clearly involved. Now, the scene came in fuzzy and out-of-focus, but it was growing steadily more visible as the days passed. She felt a sense of mourning from the fuzziness and sighed, wrapping her arms around herself.

Her family was falling apart.


	19. Almost Easy

SEVENTEEN:: Almost Easy

Pretending wasn't as easy as Jacob wished it were. He lay next to his immobile imprinted and watched him sleep, as he had watched him sleep for the last week. He wanted to pretend that Edward had never said he was leaving. That Jacob woke up with his lover smiling at him. Edward cooked him breakfast while he showered. They went back to bed afterwards and didn't get up for the rest of the day.

But his chest throbbed and his limbs felt numb and it was far easier than he wished it was to remember Edward's smirk as he announced he was leaving. It was far too easy to remember the way he looked walking away.

"I don't understand," he whispered. His voice felt rough; those were his first three words since Carlisle had left a sleeping Edward in his care. In the silence, his voice sounded obscenely loud.

He cleared his throat and reached out experimentally to trace the lines of Edward's relaxed face. He remembered the way Edward's face looked contorted in pleasure, and while there had been no declarations of undying love from the vampire... there had been something in his eyes. Or so Jacob had mistaken believed.

The shifter slowly set his head on Edward's chest and curled around him. This was how Edward had lain with him when his fever was slowly cooking his brains. Did this count the same way? A reluctant ally reluctantly lending his body temperature?

No... no, even with the way he hurt, there was no reluctance. Jacob knew he would still be curled at Edward's side even if the man had put a knife in his chest before leaving. Damn his fucking imprint anyways!

"I don't even want to hate you anymore!" he sobbed. His fist clenched against Edward's still-naked chest. For the first time since the universe shifted again and shattered, he let himself cry.

~*~

Edward drifted listlessly through the years. Here, he and Carlisle sat in a movie theater. An action flick flashed across the scene, all explosions and bad special effects. Carlisle had his hand and it was natural to lift his creator's hand to his lips and gently kiss the knuckles. Carlisle squeezed his hand and very quietly reminded him that they were brothers just then. Edward deliberately kissed his hand again and let it go.

This memory was important to him. He didn't understand why.

They left the theater and he stepped into ten years later. Edward fell to the bed and pulled a pillow over his head while he listened unwillingly to Rosalie's thoughts as she and Emmett fucked in the upstairs bedroom. In the room next to him, Jasper made a slow sort of love to his mate and Carlisle's fingers whispered over the piano's keys while Esme listened; it was another sort of lovemaking and Edward felt loneliness stab at his chest.

He rolled over and fell into his second row seat in chemistry as _she_ walked in for the first time. Her scent hit him in the face like that stab of loneliness and he wanted to scream.

She pulled her chair out and the legs screeched on the linoleum. He looked up and found himself staring at her while she pounded her hands into the tile.

Edward dropped his head and Isabella's scent hit him sideways as she opened the door and walked away.

Somewhere in the far distance, someone whispered, "You're going to leave me again when you wake up."

Curious, insulating darkness wrapped around him and he fell into it.

~*~

"I have some things that I am going to tell you," Jacob said tremulously. "I know you're going to leave me again when you wake up... so I won't get another chance." He wondered briefly if Edward could hear him and then decided that he didn't care. What did it matter if Edward heard? They were things he would have told him someday if... if only. Edward could use these things to hurt him further, but what did that matter? The pain wouldn't last forever, just the rest of his life.

He took a deep breath and thought of everything he wanted to say, and then slowly whispered, "I was six when my mother died..."

~*~

Edward stood in the middle of a poorly decorated living room. The rug spread over the brown carpet was mixture of glaring red and sullen blue. A short set of shelves ran the entire length of one wall, painted in similar – but not exact- shades of glaring red and sullen blue. There were multi-colored bins shoved onto the shelves with careless abandon and no apparent attempt at a pattern. A collection of children's shoes lined up on the floor beneath them.

Strangely, it was none of these things that finally identified the room as belonging to a daycare; it was the small stack of alphabet-blocks in the corner. Edward looked around curiously, knowing he had never seen the daycare before. The room lit up with a bright flash of lightening and a crack of thunder heralded a child's scream. He turned towards the direction of the noise. A young -and unexpectedly tall- Billy Black limped into the room. Clinging around one leg was a small boy of maybe five or six. A woman walked half a pace behind the laughing Billy Black, smiling in the way of all mothers observing their children.

"Stop being a _baaaaby_," a girl said. She was a few years older and had straight black hair that had been pulled into a pony tail on the side of her head. Her little arms were crossed over her chest.

"Be nice to your brother, Rachel," the woman said, setting a hand on the girl's head. Rachel huffed and rolled her eyes. She turned and stomped out of the room.

Thunder rolled over the daycare again and the little boy shrieked. "I don't w-want you to _go_!" he screamed, holding fast to Billy's leg despite the man's attempts to gently dislodge him.

It took Edward longer than it should have to realize that he was staring at a six year-old version of Jacob Black.

The woman knelt beside the crying boy. Edward vaguely recognized her from the snap-shot show of Jacob's life Billy had provided. His mother, Jessica.

"Jacob," she soothed. She had a remarkable voice with a soft lilt. "Don't cry, my love." She pulled at him gently and he released his father in favor of throwing his arms around his mother's neck. He cried hysterically, rubbing his face into her shoulder. The thunder sounded again, seeming to punctuate his sobs.

"Listen to me, my little gem." She pet his hair and he reluctantly calmed, looking up at her with big, wet eyes. "Daddy and I love you so much!" she told him with a smile. "No silly thunder could ever take us away from you. Do you remember what I told you about thunder?"

Jacob hiccuped. "It's just the clouds laughing," he repeated dutifully.

She wiped his face with her hands and kissed his forehead. "And there's nothing to fear from laughter. We'll be back in just a couple hours, and you'll see."

Jacob nodded miserably and she kissed him again and then set him down. Billy bent down and swept him into a hug. "Be a good boy for miss Sarah," he ordered with mock severity and then smiled, tapping his son on the nose. He kissed Jacob's cheek and passed the small child off to the waiting woman. She was nondescript and shifted subtly from blond to brunette, her skin tone fading from dark ebony to pale white.

Jessica and Billy Black said a final goodbye to their son and walked out into the rain. The calender on the wall said it was a Sunday. The woman walked away with the crying child, saying some soothing nonsense while Jacob sobbed.

And so Edward was the only one in the living room when Billy backed the car out of the driveway and came to a stop at the corner. He was the only one to witness the truck that ran the stop sign and crashed into the passenger side of the old Civic.

Lightening flashed and darkness washed up in its wake.

~*~

"I was eight when my best friend left for Arizona, ten when my sister swore that she would never speak to my father again," Jacob continued quietly. He very slowly, almost guiltily set a kiss to Edward's chest, hand running up and down the vampire's arm and over his shoulder. He told himself he was just keeping his imprinted warm.

"One year later, Rachel left too. I was thirteen the first time I thought about kissing a guy," Jacob confessed, blushing despite his non-responsive audience. "And fourteen the first time I _did_ kiss a guy." He cleared his throat. "That summer I kissed a girl for the first time. And when I was fifteen, my best friend came back from Arizona and this... jerk stole her away." He laughed a little nervously. "One year later..."

~*~

Rain fell in sheets. Edward spun once; he was somewhere familiar, and yet it still felt like a memory that wasn't his. The wet hum of tires on soaking asphalt called his attention to the road seconds before Jacob's Rabbit swung around the corner, going too fast. Edward's weight shifted automatically as though to catch the memory-car before it rolled off the road. Jacob regained control of the vehicle quickly though, and masterfully enough to suggest that he'd never really lost control in the first place. Edward followed the vehicle at a jog and Jacob swung the car into the driveway with foolhardy grace. It slid in the mud and came to a messy halt, Jacob spilling out of the driver's side door almost before it had stopped moving. He stumbled away from the vehicle, the door left wide open. He was weaving like he was drunk, occasionally slipping in the mud and dragging the mess all over his face and chest.

Edward followed slowly, eyebrows pulled together in a worried frown.

Jacob made it to the deck before collapsing, one hand reaching futilely for the door. He cried out shortly in wordless agony and pulled his knees to his chest. Edward watched helplessly, knowing there was nothing he could do and yet feeling an intense _need_ rising in his chest to do something. Jacob was rolling slowly back and forth, whimpering in pain and it made Edward _hurt_.

He reached out, but the door jerked open before he could discover what trying to touch the memory version of his lover would do. Billy's face registered first shock and then, almost immediately, an overwhelming horror. Edward imagined that all parents knew the feeling and didn't envy the man that. Billy shouted something over his shoulder and pushed himself out of the way. Momentarily caught by his pained expression, Edward came to understand for the first time how helpless the elder Black must have felt these last years, unable to do anything for someone he loved who was hurting so much.

With a sinking sensation, Edward realized that the same look was probably plastered onto his face and he looked away.

Sam was pushing through the door and knelt to gather Jacob into his arms. The teenager moaned and reached up with muddy hands to clutch at his tee shirt.

"It's alright," Sam soothed. His expression was creased with sorrowful resignation. They must have all known that Jacob was closing in on joining the pack for sometime before this night. It seemed the knowing didn't help the sadness.

The pack alpha stroked one hand through Jacob's messy hair and held him while he cried. Edward felt a hot surge of jealousy rise up through his chest and suppressed it immediately; he was only an observer. At this point, he wasn't even part of Jacob's life except as a nuisance and an absentee enemy.

Slipping one arm under Jacob's knees, Sam lifted the younger man off the deck and effortlessly carried him back into the yard. Billy watched with that same pinched, helpless look and Edward stood beside his chair, remembering how proud and unexpectedly tall the man had been in Jacob's childhood memory. Then, Billy had been walking away from his son. Now, his son was being taken from him. The sky was almost the same color.

Sam dropped to his knees in the muddy yard and set Jacob down.

"I am sorry, Jake... this is going to hurt." He leaned forward and set his lips to Jacob's mud-streaked forehead before letting him go and backing away. Jacob clutched at him and begged him breathlessly not to leave him alone.

And so Edward watched in impotent helplessness as Jacob twisted and tore at himself. His tee-shirt came away in long strips and he gripped his hair, back arching impressively and legs kicking through the mud.

There was none of the easy fluidity in this transformation as there had been that long ago -how long ago?- day in Alaska. Jacob shrieked and his bones shattered while he thrashed, the sound heard even over the rain. His chest caved in and then expanded slowly, his ribs pushing through skin and muscle in a grizzly exhibition that was only barely blurred by the rain. His throat was being torn to ribbons and he arched up uselessly, twisting as though he could escape himself.

Next to Edward, Billy clenched the arm rests of his chair so hard that his knuckles whitened and his arms trembled. Edward was hardly in any better condition, but Sam was already shifting, his phasing far less traumatizing than the horror being visited on Jacob's suddenly fragile body.

The wolf burst through Jacob's ruined body with all the abruptness of birth and lay panting on his side. He whimpered, shaggy fur coated in mud and blood, his body trembling. Sam nudged him gently and lay down beside him, licking his pakemate's eyes until they cleared enough for Jacob to focus on him. A growl ripped immediately out of his shattered throat, sounding at once intensely menacing and pitifully broken. He pulled himself laboriously to his feet and Sam stood slowly. They faced off, Jacob's upper lip pulled back to reveal his canines. Sam was larger by a fair margin, but Jacob was something more.

_The true alpha_, Edward remembered. Sam remained still and calm. He ducked his head and stepped forward slowly to nudge at Jacob's chin. Jacob hesitated while he seemed to be puzzling out the situation. Edward wished dearly that he could hear them, but memories were like movies: all picture and no thoughts, two-dimensional in their way. He _did_ realize that Sam was offering Jacob leadership of the pack. That Jacob would have to either take it or accept Sam as the alpha before the madness took him. He could see the maddening pain in the shift of his milky brown eyes and remembered Seth's devastation. It had been so much more pronounced than this, but Seth was accustomed to having a pack, while this memory of Jacob did not yet understand what he didn't have.

After another second of deliberation, Jacob jerked his head away and dropped into a crouch. He wouldn't accept leadership, and he couldn't give it up, but he'd be willing to lose it to the much healthier Sam. The bigger wolf hesitated, but Jacob lunged at him, giving him no choice.

The fight was so brief that it could hardly be termed as such. In the blink of an eye, Sam had Jacob's smaller body pinned beneath his, mouth around the new wolf's throat. Jacob relaxed under him and whimpered in seeming gratitude. He struggled to his feet and cast a brief glance at the deck. Sam nudged him and they both took off, Jacob padding after his alpha with obvious difficulty.

Darkness crept up around the edges as Jacob disappeared into the woods and Edward turned into it, letting it wrap around him like a blanket.

~*~

"The worst part," Jacob confided softly, his body shaking slightly as the ghost of remembered agony drifted over his limbs. "The worst part was that I couldn't tell anyone." He laughed softly. "That I wasn't _supposed_ to tell anyone."

He had become more comfortable wrapped around the sleeping vampire and was letting himself run his fingertips over Edward's chest in senseless patterns. Somewhere, he remembered that Edward didn't want him, didn't want him to touch him or see him or be near him, and the thought made him a little nauseous. It made him feel a little guilty, a little dirty. It shouldn't have, but it did.

He spread his palm over the smooth expanse of perfect skin that should have concealed Edward's heartbeat. It was still, not even rising in the comforting motion of breathing. Jacob could almost convince himself that this wasn't Edward at all. It was a statue of Edward, some painful token left to remind him of what he'd lost.

"You never asked me," Jacob whispered, his lips close enough to Edward's skin that they brushed feather-light against him. Edward's cool skin was pleasant and felt ticklish against his lips. "I just kept wondering when you were going to ask, or if I should just tell you. It kind of..." he swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "It hurt a little that you didn't want to know. That you didn't care enough to be curious. I just thought that you were respecting my privacy or something." He laughed at himself. "But I guess the truth is that you really _didn't _care..." His voice trailed off and it took a second to reorient himself, to remember why he was putting himself through this strange torture.

"Last summer, my best friend married this jerk..."

~*~

Edward stood just inside the tree line of the Cullen property. He recognized the memory place, and felt a little shiver of pain pass over him. It was a distant sort of pain; no, less pain and more the anticipation of it. He stepped out from under the trees and stared at the dance floor. Lights were strung all around, bows on the white table cloths, each cloth tucked neatly and perfectly so it laid flat and smooth over its table. Alice had always had shown such magnificent attention to detail.

He had taken only a couple steps towards the crowd milling around the dance floor when a couple detached from the swirling mass of out-of-focus bodies and he found himself staring at the memory of himself, leading Bella off the floor. She was just as amazing as he remembered her, resplendent in her gown, her makeup a pale imitation of Isabella's perfect countenance. He clenched his jaw and turned around sharply.

The memory of Jacob nearly passed right through him, and Edward found himself compelled to turn and follow Jacob's progress. Bella's face lit up as she saw Jacob and their bodies connected with the ease of familiarity, despite Jacob's stiff shoulders. Edward watched in strange jealous agony as they danced slowly, but he couldn't be sure of whom he was more jealous.

Their voices were a soft murmur and Edward didn't make himself pay attention, not sure that he wanted to know this, that he wanted to take this from Jacob, but the werewolf's voice raised suddenly and Edward was forced to get closer, a strange sort of protectiveness rushing over him. His hand was extended with the half-formed notion of ripping Jacob away from Bella and getting between them when his memory-self rushed into the scene, forming like a specter from the unfocused haze that surrounded them. He grabbed Bella's arm and pulled her sharply away, putting his body between hers and her friend's.

Edward stared at his own face in mute shock. His expression was so filled with venom that he almost didn't recognize himself.

Jacob was shaking in a fit of his own fury, his body a mere heartbeat from exploding into his wolf form. His pack arrived with the same sort of misty-suddenness that the terrifying memory of Edward had exhibited. They wrapped their arms around him, restraining him, trying to calm him down, but Edward realized that the wolf was not going to be calmed. He could already see the bones popping and shifting and knew that in another breath he would break into his tawny wolf and leap for the memory-Edward's vicious face.

Edward felt his brows draw together. That hadn't happened, he was sure... He watched Jacob intently, recognizing all the signs of an impending transformation. To all appearances, there was no force that could have stopped the shifter just then, but he suddenly went lax, expression registering wide-eyed shock as he stared at the memory of Edward's sneering face.

Abruptly, he understood and felt his gut twist. Of all the cruel tricks fate had played on Jacob Black, this was probably the most sadistic. He had loved Bella fiercely and she had given him up. Walked away from him and then asked him to follow, and on the night of her wedding, he met his rival's eyes across a clearing and the world was pulled out from under him.

Worse, he had to watch them both walk away.

The memory shattered and Edward felt himself plunging downwards with a sickening sense of vertigo.

~*~

He landed hard and waited with his eyes closed for everything to stop lurching and spinning. He opened his eyes cautiously, half afraid of what nightmare he would wake to, but he found nothing but a perfect blue sky framed by soft stalks of golden wheat. He frowned and sat up very slowly.

He stood in an unfamiliar field that glowed subtly with bright sunlight too gold to be real. He turned slowly, trying to identify the landscape. It was no where in Washington, of that he was sure. And then he saw her. She spun with her arms out, her gown blossoming around her like an emerald rose. She was at once familiar, and yet subtly different.

She fell, laughing brightly.

_Isabella..._ he mouthed in slow understanding. Not his Bella, or even the creature his Bella had become, but _Isabella_ as she was when she lived. She stood as though she had heard him and then grabbed her heavy skirts and ran for him. He stared in mute shock and a sort of sick horror as she drew closer and he realized that she must be no more than thirteen or fourteen years old. His mouth moved soundlessly.

He backed away from her advance, shaking his head slowly. Walking through a memory shadow was a distinct and distinctly unpleasant sensation and Edward gagged as he backed through the memory's other occupant and found himself staring at a broad back, Bella just visible as she came to a halt before him.

"Che cosa ha detto?" she asked, her voice sweet and so disturbingly young.

The man lifted one hand and took her chin. "You will remember me soon," he said softly in a voice that was smooth and terrifying for its chilly perfection. Edward recognized him immediately for a vampire.

Thunder sounded like a gunshot and Isabella jumped away from him, backing away with a fearful look in her eyes. She turned and fled and Edward ran after her immediately. She moved like a blur, managing to keep always ahead of him, despite the fact that she was clearly mortal, that her heart pounded furiously against her chest.

She disappeared into a shallow stand of trees and Edward followed blindly, chasing her pale shadow. He broke the line of the trees, but she was nowhere to be seen. He caught nothing but a glimpse of a cliff before he sensed someone behind him and spun.

"Edward?" She was wearing her blue sweats and the thermal shirt that she had worn That Night. She smiled her shy smile and Edward felt something break.

"Bella," he moaned, crossing the distance between them and wrapping her in his arms. He set her down carefully, aware that she was _Bella_, Bella who was human and warm and fragile.

"Are you just going to let him fall?" she asked, tipping her head to peer around him.

Edward glanced over his shoulder and then spun around in startlement, fear licking at him like flames. Jacob was poised on the edge of the cliff staring down with that same vacant, devastated look that he'd seen when he was leaving.

"Jacob!" he screamed. He took a hasty step towards him, but was pulled up short. Bella was holding onto him and was suddenly as immobile as if she were part of the very mountain on which they stood.

"Bella, you have to let me go!" he pleaded. Jacob turned and looked at him with those dead eyes. His gaze drifted down to where Bella held fast to Edward's wrist.

"Why?" he asked softly, the fire gone from his voice.

"Jacob, please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything I said, I was just so scared!" He yanked hard at Bella's grip. She was staring at him impassively, and he realized abruptly how corpse-like she looked. Her heart wasn't beating. "Bella _please_, let me go!"

Jacob shook his head slowly and took a step back towards the edge. His heel was barely on solid ground. One more step...

"Jacob, no! Please!" He was yanking frantically at Bella's hold, blindly trying to pry her frigid hand away from his wrist with his other hand, eyes never leaving Jacob's shattered gaze.

"I love you, Edward," the shifter whispered.

"Are you just going to let him fall?" Bella repeated again, her voice pure like the tone of a crystal.

"You have to let me _go!_" Edward screamed at her.

She looked down at their joined hands and Edward followed her gaze. Her hand was not wrapped around his wrist. His hand was wrapped around hers.

"Bella..."

He heard Jacob's breath hitch and felt more than saw him take the final step backwards. Without thought, he released Bella's hand and shot forward, reaching desperately. He caught Jacob's arm and hauled him back onto solid ground. Edward wrapped both arms around the man and held him tightly, kissing him hard.

Jacob was warm and alive in his arms and behind him, Bella turned and walked away.

~*~

Waking up was not quite easy. Edward fought through a crush of memories, swimming through the maelstrom with all the desperation of a drowning man who was not quite sure he was moving in the right direction.

He surfaced with a small gasp and winced as his neglected lungs contracted in response to the sudden intake, and his ribs ached with the effort of motion. He kept his eyes closed while he took stock of his body and tried to figure out how long he'd been sleeping. His muscles were a little stiff and his lungs still labored to draw in air, but overall he felt amazingly limber for having fallen asleep; he guessed he had been unconscious for only a day or two.

There was a soft warmth curled around his side and he pried his eyes open very slowly. They lifted with only the greatest reluctance, dry lids scraping painfully against his dry eyes. He waited impatiently for his tear ducts to start working again and slowly rolled his eyes to spread the reluctant moisture in the socket. A few days should not have had such an effect on his eyes and it annoyed him.

Eyes open and finally focused, he turned his head carefully, gritting his teeth against the grating feeling of dry bones rubbing against each other. Jacob was pressed against his side, his sleeping body sprawled over as much of Edward's as he could physically reach.

He looked oddly fragile... vulnerable like no one of Jacob's size should ever look. Edward rolled his shoulder experimentally and then lifted his free hand and brushed his fingertips over the other man's forehead.

Jacob stirred and Edward was confronted a pair of liquid brown eyes. They were strangely bright in the man's face and Edward felt his breath catch in his throat.

_You're beautiful_, he wanted to say, but his windpipe was too dry to produce sounds.

It took several seconds for Jacob to realize that Edward was conscious. His sad eyes widened slowly, pleasure making his cheeks glow.

"You're awake," he said softly. A flood of pain passed over his face in the wake of the words and his voice was filled with it when he repeated, "You're awake." He pulled away from Edward's side, expression shuttering with all the ease of far too much practice. Edward wondered how long Jacob had been forced to shield himself this way and felt a little spark of pain low in his chest.

Jacob withdrew slowly, his hands drifting lingeringly over Edward's skin as he pulled away, painfully aware that it was probably the last time he would be able to touch the man. He sat up and turned his back to the silent vampire.

"Do you need anything?" he asked quietly and cursed himself for caring.

"No..." Edward replied at length, his voice like dead leaves in a soft wind.

Jacob's chin dropped slowly and he screwed his eyes closed, begging himself not to cry. It wasn't fair, but then nothing was ever fair and he desperately wanted to retain at least a little dignity this time. He swallowed hard and waited until he was sure his voice wouldn't crack.

"Go." It physically hurt to say it. Behind him, Edward was slowly pushing himself up and Jacob hugged himself to stop the impending shudders.

"Jacob-"

"Don't," he snapped before Edward could say anything more. Even dry and scratchy with disuse, Edward's voice was amazing and he was afraid that he would break on the sharp edge of it. "Just..." he took a slow breath. "Don't say goodbye to me again," he begged. He hated himself for the weakness, but he knew he wouldn't survive another farewell.

Edward watched Jacob's back and wished he could make his throat work right. He wished he could make his limbs work so he could reach out and touch him. He wished Jacob's walls would come down so he could hear him. He was trying to pull himself upright, but his body was stiff and locked. He knew from experience that he was liable to break something if he tried to force it.

Close to screaming, Jacob's hands curled into fists. He didn't understand Edward's cruelty, and he couldn't understand his inability to hate the man for it. Was it too much to ask to be allowed this little peace? Edward had been all for a clean break before, but now that Jacob was broken he wanted to rub salt into the wound.

The minutes passed and Edward was finally able to swallow. His limbs were moving a little easier. "Do you want me to leave?" he asked softly. He deserved nothing less than to be sent away, but asking was unexpectedly painful. He had finally let go of Bella, was finally seeing what he should have seen months before, but he'd missed the realization and was afraid it was too late.

Jacob laughed and his voice cracked disparagingly. Of course he didn't want Edward to leave; he could never _want_ that, but even as painful as the prospect of him walking away again was, the prospect of having to live with Edward's scorn was unbearable. He said nothing and after a long silence, Edward finally climbed to his feet. He moved with unaccustomed awkwardness and Jacob clenched his eyes tightly so he wouldn't have to _watch_.

Edward walked stiffly from the room, pausing to look back at Jacob's tense form. He thought he should say something, but what could he do to fix the mess he'd made? He would give Jacob his space and try to piece it back together once the sharp edges had faded a little.

"Thank you," he managed, forcing the words past his tight throat. Jacob's body trembled and Edward knew he deserved the other man's rage. He was overawed that Jacob had stayed with him while he slept, and impressed that the shifter hadn't phased and taken his throat out yet. He waited half a second longer, hoping for a small thought to ground him, a glance of Jacob's face... anything.

Jacob said nothing, his body shook harder and Edward turned away.


	20. The Wolf and the Eagle

EIGHTEEN:: The Wolf and the Eagle

Falling apart the second time was different. Jacob clutched himself hard enough to bruise, body shaking uncontrollably. He could hear Edward's footsteps down the hall and they struck him like the hammer hitting the nails. The first time his imprinted had walked away, everything had been sharp and piercing. This time it was a deep, throbbing, maddening ache.

_No_, he mouthed, but his chest hurt so bad that he couldn't make the sounds just then, despite how badly he wanted to call his imprinted back. He couldn't even think clearly enough to drop his barriers. _No, I don't want you to go_! It was too late; Edward was already gone. Maybe it was for the best, because Jacob knew he would have begged just then. He would have said anything to make Edward stay just a little longer, even a few seconds, even to spit out another vicious vitriol of how much he hated Jacob.

With a small cry, Jacob struggled to his feet and threw the window open. The winter air hit him in the face and he felt cold.

He pulled himself out the window and spilled onto the ground, landing hard enough to knock the wind out of his lungs. He drew in ragged breaths of icy air and climbed back to his feet. If he shifted, he could be at the seaside in less than five minutes. Would his pack try to stop him? He wasn't sure; loved ones could be so cruel in their own fear.

He didn't want to chance it, so he started out unsteadily through the back yard.

~*~

Billy was sound asleep. Edward paused and made sure of it before creeping through the hallway, his joints slowly loosening up. He felt like a thief sneaking through the house and guilt gnawed at him like a pack of laughing jackals.

Behind him, he could hear nothing but Jacob's unsteady breaths. The other man must have been furious, and Edward winced as he pulled the front door open. He walked through the yard and headed for the trees, knowing he could run and be home in minutes, but something heavy was dragging behind him and holding him back.

Edward was half-way home when Seth went from fuzzy unconsciousness to full wakefulness. There was silence for a moment while Edward unwillingly shared his latest encounter with his packmate.

_You're stupid sometimes, Edward_. Seth's voice was somber.

_Good morning to you, too, Seth._

_ I wish I could imprint so you would understand._ He sounded tired. The lack of exuberant joy was pronounced and it added to Edward's sadness.

_He has every right to be angry with me, Seth. Every right to hate me. I can't even hope to be taken back at this point. _

_ You're right. You deserve to be tossed out on your cold, hard ass,_ Seth agreed wryly._ But he's imprinted, and he would never give you up, no matter what you did to him. Please... turn around. _

_Seth..._ He wanted to. He could remember the phantom of Jacob's warmth in his arms, could feel the residual effects of the panic pouring through him from his dreamed experience of nearly losing the wolf, and being away from him now was almost painfully difficult. He hadn't realized how important Jacob had become until then. Just a few nights before he had declared to himself that Jacob just was a _project_; something to distract him from Bella. When had that changed?

_Two weeks._

_What?_

_ You were asleep for 13 days. _

That wasn't right. If he had been asleep for two weeks, it should have taken him almost as long to become mobile again.

_Jacob stayed by you day and night so you would stay warm. He hardly left your side long enough to take care of himself, and that's only because we all _made_ him. Does that sound like someone who hates you? _

Edward stopped and may have turned back just then, but it was the faint, distant wave of Jacob's sorrow that actually made him turn around. Fear quickened in him like a pulse and he ran, picking up Jacob's trail well before he made it back to the house.

~*~

None of his limbs were in the right place.

He could remember when he'd first started growing, the pain he'd been in and how he never seemed to know what his knees and elbows were doing, like they had developed minds of their own. He was growing so fast then that he never really had a chance to adjust until he hit six-two and finally starting slowing down.

This felt like that, but so much worse. It seemed that his feet moved independently of each other and his shoulders acted like bumpers in a pin-ball game. He fell a lot, but it didn't matter, he could get back up, had to get back up. Pressure was building inside of him like that first terrible transformation, and yet so much worse. It felt like his bones were liquefying under his skin, like his muscles were snapping apart, fiber by fiber.

In the distance, he could hear the steady roar of the ocean. It whispered soothing things and the sharp, salty scent urged him on. He could feel his walls crumbling at the edges and knew that they would fall before he hit the bluffs, but it didn't matter that much. Edward would definitely be out of range long before that point.

He came upon the cliff so suddenly that he almost stumbled over it without realizing it. He dropped to his knees at the edge and turned slow until his feet dangled over the side. This used to be his favorite place; he and Quil and Embry played here when they were younger. They used to pretend that they were the sole survivors of a shipwreck and were marooned on some remote island. At this cliff, they would watch for passing ships, and whoever was the captain at the time would mete out punishment for small infractions of island law. Quil's mother made them picnics sometimes when the weather was nice, and in third grade, Embry found a pack of cigarettes with a few left nearby. They'd each managed one pull from the innocent-looking white tubes and ended up coughing and ill.

Jacob leaned his head back and dug his fingers into the thick moss. This lonely cliff had seen so much of his life. The best parts of his life. The ocean here had always been beautiful to him; vaguely menacing, but beautiful. He dropped his head and stared down into the white-crested waves. The sea was a sullen gray, its caps touched with the tint of winter. From so far up, they seemed soft and inviting.

Decision made, he found himself at a strange sort of peace. The pain washed away to a dull and distant ache and the world mellowed around the edges, became misted and embracing. He wasn't even startled when a tall old man formed from the mists and sat down beside him.

"So you're just going to jump?" The man leaned over slightly to peer into the waves.

"No. I'm not going to jump," Jacob corrected him softly. "I'm just going to fall."

"Ah." The man nodded as though that made it better somehow. "It is something of a cruel curse I placed upon our family," the man said at length.

Jacob finally turned to look at him, and as he watched, his hair gradually turned from white to raven black and the lines of his face melted away. It was almost like looking in a mirror, or at an older brother.

"Grandfather?" Jacob guessed. He'd been very young when his grandfather died, so young that he didn't remember him at all, but his father told him that he looked like an exact replica of the elder Black.

"When you're young, you never anticipate what the word 'grandfather' means. It sounds so dignified, doesn't it?" He had a large, easy smile and he shared it willingly with Jacob.

"I'll never be a grandfather," Jacob replied.

"Does that bother you?"

He thought about. "No...I don't think it does. It might have, before. Maybe I would have wanted that with Bella, but I can't imagine her being old."

"May I tell you a story, Jacob?"

"Why not?" It didn't matter so much. He had all the time in the world.

"There was once a wolf," the man started, his engaging voice taking on the tone of a born-storyteller. "He was in love with an eagle, the most majestic of all birds."

Jacob listened with his eyes closed.

"The eagle was wary of being loved by such a fierce creature, and kept to the treetops, but she loved him too, and they would speak, he on the ground and she far above. After many many months of this courtship, the eagle finally flew through the trees and perched on a fallen oak. The wolf was overjoyed that his love had come down to the forest floor and sat beside her. Over many hours, she inched slowly closer to him, until she was able to set her head against his nose."

The scene unfurled before him, forming out of the mists and he watched while his grandfather's strong voice narrated the impossible scene.

"The wolf was excited and filled with joy and meant to kiss her, but accidentally bit her, and harmed his love. She flew away, hurt by his teeth. She never told him that she loved him and would forgive him anything. Horrified with himself, the wolf ran and hid all during the day. He pinned for his love and called mournfully for her in the night, but when she came near, he snapped at her to go away, telling her that he had only drawn her out of the trees so that he could eat her, and if she came again he would make a lunch of her.

"The eagle was heartbroken and flew back to the sky. She still calls to him with her sweet song, but will never come to the ground again, and he too mourns for her, but will still send her away if she comes too near."

Jacob watched his hands shake. "That's so stupid," he whispered. "Why didn't he just apologize and tell her the truth?"

"Love makes us all cruel, Jacob."

"Why do we imprint?" Jacob asked, his voice breaking as it hadn't in years. "It doesn't make sense."

"Loving is also a cruel curse. But all leaders must have love in their hearts, or they are doomed to destroy their people. And they must be loved in return, or they are doomed to destroy themselves."

"I'm not a leader; I'm _weak_ for hurting this much."

Ephraim Black set a strong hand on his grandson's shoulder. His voice was somehow sad when he said, "Then fly away, and I will see you in another place."

Jacob nodded, felt the tears on his cheeks and spread his arms. The wind grabbed at him, playful and gentle, and far below the ocean called his name. His body tipped forward and he felt the embrace of empty air as he slid slowly from the cliff.

~*~

Edward ran. The trees and the feel of the air on his skin were like the memory of a nightmare, and he expected to see Bella's face at any moment, or wake up to some new terror.

Ahead, he heard the murmur of voices. One, deep and strong and the other soft and achingly familiar. He burst through the trees as Jacob spread his arms and fell forward.

"NO!" He jumped, reaching out. He landed hard on his stomach, the impact unaccustomedly painful. Edward opened eyes he didn't realize he'd closed and let out a breath like a sob. Distantly, he heard Seth's terrified shriek. The wolf was already escaping Jasper and on his way.

"Why?" Jacob asked him quietly. He was hanging limply from Edward's hand, making no attempt to either hold on to his imprinted or let him go.

"Give me your other hand, _please_," Edward pleaded. He was dangerously over-extended with his chest hanging over the side of the cliff and had no leverage to pull Jacob up. He could feel the moss slowly giving way and the rock beneath it would go soon after. They would both tumbled the hundreds of feet to the rocks below. Even with Jacob's advanced healing, Edward wasn't sure he would survive. The shifter's amazing constitution _might_ be able to heal the wounds, but that wouldn't stop him from drowning.

"Let me go," Jacob said. He looked down at the waves as they pulled away and revealed rocks like jagged teeth.

"Just give me your hand, Jacob."

"I won't live with this," Jacob told him, shaking his head. "I _can't_. I don't understand why you would want me to." He lifted his free hand and pressed it to his chest, further unbalancing Edward's precarious hold. He slid forward further and dug his feet into the soil.

"Let me try to fix it, please! I'm sorry." He tried to pull up, aware that normally this would not have been an issue. Normally, he could have hauled a car up over the cliff with one hand. But he was still stiff and weak from his long bout of unconsciousness and the attempt only forced him further over the edge. Any further and he wouldn't have the leverage to stay on the cliff. He began looking around for a ledge he could swing the uncooperative werewolf to, or at the very least something he would be able to catch if they went over.

_Seth, hurry, please,_ he begged.

_ I'm trying!_

"I never meant to hurt you," Edward tried, grabbing at the edge of the cliff with his other hand. "I was afraid, Jake."

Jacob looked up; it was the first time Edward had shortened his name. It was at once endearing and strange. "Of what?"

Edward swallowed hard, palm pressing into the rock in an attempt to stop any further slipping. "I almost killed you that night, Jacob. I was afraid that one day I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I didn't know what to do," he admitted. "I thought if I could get you to hate me... that you would be safer if I left."

"That's the stupidest damn thing I've ever heard," Jacob said peevishly. His eyes were starting focus as his temper rose. He still didn't seem to realize that he was dangling over a cliff and glared up at his imprinted. "What do you think an imprint _is_ you jackass?!" His body jerked in agitation and Edward cussed violently, scrabbling at the rock for purchase.

"Damnit, Jacob, I'm _sorry_!" The rock he'd been bracing his hand on gave and he shot forward until his entire chest was off the cliff and he was bent over it at the waist. The weight was too much and he kept sliding. "_Jacob, _please!"

"If I reach for you now, I'll pull you down, and we both go," Jacob responded. "Let go."

"You damn idiot, _I'll_ survive going over. Give me your hand, _now_!"

Jacob reached up reluctantly for Edward's other hand. True to prediction, the shift in weight jerked Edward's footholds loose and he was dragged quickly forward. Edward shouted in wordless denial as they went over, but a hand on his ankle arrested his motion and he came to a painful halt. Jacob swung through empty air, trying to keep his body still. Fear was coursing through him now and he realized with abrupt dread that he didn't really want to die.

Edward took several gasping breaths. The hold on his legs was keeping him steady and he gasped out a thank you, but knew that Seth couldn't hope to hold them both up for long with gravity working against them.

"Jacob, listen to me. Do you see that outcropping to your left?" It was just with in reach, now that Jacob was cooperating. It wasn't big, but big enough for the wolf to catch onto. "You have to let go of me with your left hand... I'm going to swing you over to it."

Jacob nodded tremulously. "Edward? I love you."

"Don't say goodbye to me," Edward growled through gritted teeth. Jacob let go of his hand and Edward forced his stiff joints to work. With a shout of effort, he swung the shifter in a wide arc and Jacob reached out for the protruding rock. He missed the first time and cursed as he slipped free. Edward let the momentum continue to build and pulled hard just when Jacob reached the peak of the arc.

Jacob hit the rockface hard and grabbed the outcropping. He let go of Edward's other hand and caught another hand hold. Edward scrambled back to his knees and turned just as Seth's tan wolf burst through the trees. Edward's brow furrowed in confusion, but he didn't have time to stop and ask and hurried over to where Jacob was clinging to the cliff.

The shifter reached up to him willingly and Edward pulled him over the edge of the cliff. He overbalanced and fell back, Jacob landing on top of him. He wrapped his arms firmly around the shifter and kicked away from the cliff's edge, kissing him with a sort of frantic terror that Jacob returned without thought.

Seth collapsed some distance away from them, his sides heaving as he fought to catch his breath.

_Who had your legs?_ The exhausted teenager asked.

_I don't know..._


	21. Benvenuti in Italia

A/N: This is the final chapter in this story. Please visit my LJ at:

http:// . I will be posting some in-depth notes and fun-facts about the story, and opening it for discussion, if you would like. I will also have some notices about the up-and-comings for this series, as well as any other planned stories. Thank you all for reading and reviewing – I have been pleasantly surprised and encouraged by the reception of this piece, and greatly appreciate everyone of you.

NINETEEN::_Benvenuti in Italia_

Edward wanted to carry Jacob when they finally gathered themselves and turned for the Cullen house. Jacob pushed him away without a word. Seth padded along at their side with his head lulling in exhaustion and they walked in near silence. The terrified tension had flooded out of them and they moved numbly, weak and locked in their own thoughts.

_You've missed a lot while you were sleeping_, Seth told him as they neared the house.

_What's happened?_

_ You'll see..._ there was a jumble of images flashing through his head, but it didn't seem to work the same way the Quileute packmind did and Edward couldn't make sense of flashes. Seth seemed so despondent that he didn't press, but he did wonder why Jasper hadn't come running after his 'puppy' yet.

~*~

Carlisle met them at the door. An oppressive air hung over the house and Edward felt it fall to his shoulders immediately. Carlisle led them to the living room and Seth broke away, padding up the stairs with his head hanging so low that his nose barely missed each stair. Edward felt like he was wading through thick mud and walked slowly, keeping half of his attention on the silent shifter at his side.

"What's going on?" Edward asked, his brows drawn together.

"I'm glad to see you awake," Carlisle said, sitting down slowly. "We were all worried about you."

"What's going on?" Edward repeated, ignoring the gentle attempt to change the subject. Esme, Emmett and Rosalie were conspicuously absent and Alice was missing her customary smile.

Carlisle sighed. "It's Jasper." He glanced towards the stairs. He looked strained; they all did. "He's loosing control of his talent and projecting his depression in a wide radius." He lifted a hand and pressed two fingers to the bridge of his nose. "I had to send Esme away with Rosalie and Emmett. Seth refuses to leave; of all of us, he seems to have the only type of defense against Jasper's...leakage, but it's wearing on him too."

Edward glanced to Alice and then up the stairs. "This has gone on far too long." He clenched his teeth, the press of depression hitting him, wave and ebb, like a typhoon. He didn't understand his sudden sensitivity to emotions, but the feeling was like slow suffocation: he could feel Jasper's despondency, but it was being picked up and magnified by everyone else. It was nothing compared to the white-hot flame that Jacob's despair had been, but it was stifling in its way. He fell to the couch next to Jacob and reached blindly for his hand, trying to ground himself while a wave built, crested and subsided.

"I have tried every scenario I can think of," Alice told him quietly. "Without you, going to Italy is at best a mass-suicide mission."

"With me?"

Alice shrugged finally and glanced briefly at Jacob. "Uncertain."

"We're going to Italy," Edward gasped once he felt like he could breathe. Next to him, Jacob was silent and still, but he did not relinquish Edward's hand.

~*~

Seth understood depression. Despite all evidence to the contrary, he was still a teenager and had felt the deep ache of sadness before. He'd always been good about keeping his head and shoulders above water and his feet planted on the shore. He'd never been caught up in the current like so many of his peers.

This was different. There was no surface, no shore; there wasn't even a single current, but dozens that pulled each way alternately and sometimes all at once. While Seth was beside Jasper, the currents calmed slightly, even faded to brief pockets of respite, but whatever natural immunity he possessed was wearing thin.

_We're going to Italy_.

Seth whimpered in relief and Jasper glanced over briefly, petting his head. Seth leaned into his touch, trying to evoke a positive response from the vampire. Jasper hadn't moved in more than a week but to occasionally pet him. He wondered, vaguely, if it upset Alice.

_When are we leaving ? _

_ Carlisle is calling the airstrip and Alice is leaving in a few minutes to get the jet ready. _

_ Why am I not surprised that you have a jet?_ Seth asked wryly, spirits lifted by the announcement. He knew that the trip was dangerous; it didn't take a genius to figure out what upset Alice every time she closed her eyes, but it would be doing something, instead of letting Jasper turn into some demented statue that radiated bad feelings.

_We don't dare risk taking him on a commercial line,_ Edward responded. _If _we_ are being affected by this, I can't imagine the disaster that would result from exposing him to human pilots. _

Seth's imagination immediately conjured a 747 passenger liner dropping from the sky and a fine shudder passed through his body, making his fur stand on end.

_Good point_. _Are you going to let Jacob come?_

_ You think he would want to? _

Seth said nothing, but annoyance built in his mental tone like a cloud.

_I'm not in a position to _let_ him do anything, or tell him not to. He'll do as he likes._

_'Yes' would have been faster,_ Seth groused. He felt Edward wince and had an immediate impulse to apologize, but resisted. The dense vampire deserved it.

Edward pretended he hadn't heard. _Get some sleep. We leave just before dawn. _

_~*~ _

Jacob sat on the bed with his back turned to his imprinted. Edward had urged him into the room to get some sleep before they left for Italy, but he'd resisted laying down.

"I don't trust you," he decided finally. His voice was soft, but firm. He turned finally and crossed his legs so he was looking down at Edward. The vampire was stretched out on the bed in much the same position he'd been in for the last two weeks. His expression was pained, but he nodded.

"This thing," Jacob continued, gesturing between them. "I can't help that. I can't help that I hurt when you're away from me. I can't help that I feel such... joy that it's almost painful when I'm near you. But I don't trust you."

Edward pushed himself up to his elbows, his expression pained. "I am sorry, Jacob. I deserve that. I can promise that I will do whatever it takes to make this up to you."

Jacob shook his head. "There's nothing that binds you to me, and there never will be. Not like I'm bound to you. You could walk away from me at any time, for any reason with no consequences, and I never can."

He reached out and set a hand on Edward's chest, slowly tracing the lines of his muscles. Edward covered his hand, stilling his listless exploration. He wrapped his hand around Jacob's warm palm and dragged the shifter's hand to his lips. He set a gentle kiss to the base of his thumb and pulled him down to the bed. Their bodies lined up easily and Jacob pressed his face to Edward's neck.

The other man drifted off to sleep and Edward traced the lines of his tattoo with a gentle fingertip, already resolving to stay with him until it was time to leave. Downstairs, his own music floated through the house as Carlisle's shield against the sadness that permeated the air.

~*~

Alice arranged herself in the pilot's seat. Generally, she enjoyed flying. She was a little more partial to the smaller, faster crafts. Little two-seaters that Rosalie built for fun and Alice and Emmett crashed for fun. This was their smallest jet. One pilot, eight passengers; it was light-weight, as economical as such things got, and, most importantly, it was fast.

At the moment, she didn't enjoy much of anything. Her lover was living a slow death and the joy had gone from the world. The future was dark, and she was afraid.

Carlisle sealed the hatch and Alice waited impatiently for the all-clear. The pre-flight was done, the engine was warm and she had been ready to leave for two hours. At the signal, she flipped the switches and the engines came to life with a deep roar punctuated by a high-pitched whine. She grabbed the wheel and pushed forward, gently turning the sleek jet towards the runway. The nose was barely lined up when she started accelerating, pulling into the air at the soonest possible moment. They leveled out and she pulled the landing gear up and switched on the auto-pilot.

Edward joined her in the cabin, falling into the jump seat with a sigh. "Let me know when you want to take a break," he said quietly, leaning his head against the bulkhead. She nodded, but didn't respond.

_Are you okay?_ she asked quietly.

"As okay as any of us."

_Jacob?_

"Less than most, I guess." His voice was soft and she normally would have said something like, _I told you so_, but it seemed like too much effort just then.

"Do you have any idea what we're going to find in Italy?" Edward asked after a moment of silence.

"I can make an educated guess... but with Jacob, it's nearly impossible to be sure. I still can't see him." Her teeth clenched. She had been trying hard to stay calm and just accept it. Leave it to chance. But this was her lover and best friend and it seemed insane to leave such a thing to the wiles of fate.

"You can see Seth now, though?"

"The moment you made a little pack with him, he became visible." She forced a little smile, one corner of her lips pulling up.

Edward chuckled briefly and sobered. "We should have gone as soon as he started..." Edward sighed. "I'm sorry. I've been... I have failed a lot lately." His voice was almost too soft for even her to hear.

She turned slightly in the seat to look back at him. "I don't blame you. I _won't_ blame you." She wasn't sure it was a promise she could keep, but she would try. It wasn't Edward's fault. It was _Isabella's_.

"I created her," Edward reminded her, his voice catching.

"No. Caius created her. She created herself. You were just a tool in her return."

That didn't seem to be much better, but Edward reached forward to squeeze her shoulder briefly. She tipped her head, pressing her cheek to his hand.

~*~

Distracted by his new setting and the puppies -not one but _two_- Jasper's output was dampened to a dull sense of sorrow, but it was a long flight. From their airstrip outside Seattle, they would be making the 10 hour trip to a similar airstrip outside of Cerreto, a small Italian city a short distance south-west of Volterra, with two stops for fuel.

Carlisle could imagine that Jasper's emotional leak would only get worse in the confined setting once he lost interest in the contrast between Jacob's rust-colored coat and Seth's much lighter blond fur. Carlisle settled in for the journey, steeling himself for the arrival in Volterra. He had not seen the city in decades, wanting very much to stay out of the politics of the vampire hierarchy. He wondered what changes he would find, if the indelible city would allow such a thing as a change.

He pulled his headphones up and gently turned up the volume, leaning his head back. He thought of Esme and already missed her dearly, but she was such a tender soul. She wouldn't claim it as a 'talent,' but his wife was deeply empathetic and Jasper's loss of control had been heartbreaking to her. He hoped Emmett and Rosalie were managing to keep her distracted.

~*~

Rosalie stepped out into the chilly northern air and slid a sleek pair of sunglasses onto her face, despite the overcast that concealed her true nature. Her lips pulled up into a smile; cliché though it may be, she loved New York. The city boasted the perfect location to keep the sun at bay but allow them easy access to prey and the perfect mix of high fashion and high danger. Not danger to her, so much, but the thrill of walking through the 'bad areas' of town in her eight hundred dollar boots, carrying her four thousand dollar purse was exciting. She enjoyed a good fight every now and then, even if the blood went to waste. She enjoyed that _she_ was dangerous to these people; the most dangerous thing they would likely ever encounter.

Heads turned as she walked down the street and she contained her smile like she didn't notice. She preened under the attention, intentionally making her hips move, intentionally arching her back just enough to lift her shoulders and press her breasts forward without seemingly like she _meant_ to.

"Enjoying yourself?" Emmett asked, pushing away from the wall he'd be waiting against and falling into step beside her.

"Always," Rosalie answered without looking at him. "Missing your mutt yet?" she asked casually. She glanced at him sideways, her lips pursing slightly at his expression.

Emmett shrugged. "Sure. I like Seth."

Rosalie rolled her eyes contemptuously. "Why didn't you stay with him?"

"You need me more." Emmett turned and grinned at her, wrapping a hand around her elbow. She was stiff and temperamental for the rest of the walk to the cafe, but she eventually relaxed against him, again taking enjoyment in the envious looks they were attracting.

Esme waited at one of the small tables, a cup of hot water in front of her. The tea bag was resting on the saucer, wet as though it had been steeping. Rosalie stared at it for a moment, the old feelings of _alienness_ rushing up. The things they did, without thought, to seem normal...

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Esme asked, smiling in greeting.

Shaken out of her reverie, Rosalie reached into her shopping bag and pulled out the gown for Esme to see. "And for you, as well."

"I'm not sure I'm really interested in the social circle this time, Rose," Esme said gently.

Rosalie drew in an irate breath, but it was Emmett who spoke first. "We all need the distraction, Esme. There are a great many charities that need the help of two such lovely benefactors. You could do a lot of good while you keep your mind occupied."

Rosalie turned a guarded, reluctantly hopeful eye to Esme. The older vampire finally nodded and brought out another smile. She made a gesture and pushed the tea cup away so Rosalie could bring the midnight blue gown out for approval.

"You know me so well," Esme said, fingering the satiny material. Rosalie smiled and gently pushed the dress back into the zippered bag. The two gowns, designed specifically for them, would be auctioned off at the charity event later that night. Rosalie thought it sufficiently amusing that it was an ASPCA event. Emmett's tux, a masterfully fitted piece of blues complete with cummerbund and tailed jacket would also be auctioned off. It amused her more that the people who bought these outfits would probably never be able to wear them.

Esme picked her hot water back up and sipped at it gently, her eyes turning out the window. She had said her goodbyes to her husband and could only hope that she got to say hello again soon.

_Tomorrow will solve itself_, she reminded herself, and smiled.

~*~

Edward sat behind the wheel. They were greeted and challenged and Edward answered back in flawless Italian, identifying himself. The radio crackled briefly and then the voice returned, far more pleasant.

"_Benvenuti in Italia,_ Mr. Cullen," the controller said, continuing in heavily accented English, "Would you like me to have the car prepared?"

"We will be taking a van, today, thank you, Mr. Conti. Please have it brought the tarmac. We will not be requiring the services of a driver."

"Very well, Mr. Cullen."

The radio clicked off and Edward lined the plane up to the runway. As Carlisle had predicted, Jasper had become accustomed to the setting and the new "dog" a mere three hours into the flight and his level of emotional output had been steadily climbing. Jacob had tried to shift out only briefly, and they had quickly discovered the source of Seth's apparent immunity; while phased, they seemed to be more resistant. Neither was looking forward to shifting back into their human forms, but both did when Edward popped on the seatbelt light and lowered the landing gear.

Plane safely and expertly on the ground, Edward left the pilot's seat and joined the rest of his family in the passenger cabin. Jacob and Seth were dressed and standing uneasily near the hatch. Alice was urging Jasper out of his chair; Seth seemed vaguely uncomfortable on two legs and kept eyeing the pair, wanting to join them.

The blond vampire was finally convinced to leave his seat and followed sedately when Carlisle popped the hatch, letting in the temperate night air. As they had requested, a large black van was waiting on the tarmac and there was no one in sight. Edward probed distractedly and found the permanent staff of three all close to the door, crowding around the small window and gossiping in whispers. The airport and nearby house were rarely used, but Esme kept a full staff on hand for the eventually. The villa had been the location of three of Rosalie and Emmett's honeymoons, though none close enough together for the staff to recognize them.

This time they would not even be stopping at the villa, but driving straight on to Volterra.

Edward paused at the top of the stairs, watching Jacob descend. He lifted his eyes to the barely visible mountains and felt a strange sense of dread coil low in his gut. Tomorrow would see them in the heart of Volterra, a place he had hoped to never see again. Tomorrow would see him again staring at the creature who had stolen his wife's body.

Tomorrow was blind, deaf, dumb, and filled with forbidding nightmares, and would come whether he willed it or not.

Overhead a nearly full moon drifted on a cloudless sky, and Edward took a slow breath before starting down the stairs, in so many ways right back to where he started.

End


End file.
